Back to Love
by handsome-uks
Summary: As their marriage falls apart at the seams can they find their way back to love. AU (a semi-continuation of Love Makes Things Happen)
1. Chapter 1

This is not an exact continuation of Love Makes Things Happen, it is more like what if we take that world and fast forward 7 years and their marriage is on the rocks. You don't have to read Love Makes Things Happen to get this story. Dedicated to doralupin86 & kmn1829- who wanted a sequel.

**Enjoy**

* * *

As soon as they pulled into the driveway, Christopher and Isabella hop out of the car and head to Rossi's backyard. Penelope takes a deep breath and unbuckles her seatbelt. As she reaches for the lock, Derek takes her hand.

"We should finish our conversation."

"Derek, now is not the time - you wanted to go to this BBQ – we're at the BBQ. Let's put on our 'happy married couple' hat and go," She says with air quotes and sarcasm in her voice.

"I wasn't trying to start anything this morning, I just – I just don't know how we got here."

"How we got here?" she repeated as if it was the dumbest question she ever heard.

"Yes, I want to come back home—I want to tuck in our kids at night, make them breakfast in the morning, make love to my wife."

"What about grocery shopping, afterschool meetings, soccer games, recitals, chicken pox, temper tantrums, and walking the dog. You and the kids make me out to be this bad guy – but I'm not D. I'm doing it all by myself and you get to come home and have all the fun – I'm the mean mommy and you're the fun daddy."

"So you want me to quit my job and stay home and be miserable like you?" he snapped.

"Derek, the only thing we had going for us this past year, was sex. I am tired of pretending - to be happy—We should tell them, because this conversation doesn't bode well for me- it's hard enough to wear the Happy Penelope Hat as it is – and if I have to go in there and fake it –," she let's out another deep yogic sigh and says "let's just get it over with"

"God Dammit Penelope talk to me—how can we fix this?" he asked frustrated.

The car is over come with a cloud of silence. She stares at the tree in front of the house wishing that she was home and he stares at his hands on the dashboard, waiting for an epiphany.

"Isn't this the moment when one of us says this is ridiculous, we love each other, all couples go through this, lets give it another try?" he asked.

She knew this routine too, He would come home for a month semi-regularly and then the paperwork would pile up– keeping him in the office till 1am. A case would come in keeping him out of town for several weeks. Then a year would slip by where she and Alex (the babysitter) raised the kids. In the 10 years they've known each other and the 7 years marriage, they have been through this cycle 4 times. This is the first time he ever moved out – but it just seemed right, she thought.

"Derek, We should really get inside – Izzy and Chris are probably wrecking Rossi's garden"

* * *

As they turned the corner, they are greeted by their BAU family, Hotch, Beth, Jack, Will, JJ, Henry, Spencer, Emily, and Jackson. After they hug and kiss their friends, Penelope wonders where her kids are. Isabel, who is 4 years old, follows her older brother Chris, 6.5 years old, around like his shadow. They both look like a spitting image of their dad. Where are my little rugrats? She said as she walked away from the group. She knew they were in his garden because at home, they love to eat the tomatoes from the garden without washing them, which drove Penelope insane. When she found them eating strawberries from Rossi's garden she scolded them and they both returned to the main area to play ball with Jack and Henry.

"Sorry Rossi, they were eating your strawberries."

"Not a problem, kitten."

"They just don't understand the concept of rinsing the fruit off first," She smiled shaking her head.

JJ came over to her and asked "how are you doing?"

"Pretty good, the semester is almost over," Penelope said with a smile.

"You are so lucky, what do you have planned this summer?"

"Well, University of Pennsylvania would like me to teach a freshman summer seminar—but I have to see – if my schedule will permit it – I'm trying to get the kids into summer camp." Emily walks over to join the conversation.

"You should check out Little Apple Camp, that's where Henry is going." JJ offered.

"Cool, I'll look into it."

"Are you still running?" Emily asked

"Yes, but I run during the week now, after Amy comes to help get the kids ready"

"Well, we should hang out. I miss you," JJ said.

"I miss you too! I will try and run with you guys next Saturday—maybe we can get mani/pedis after," Penelope replied.

The group continues to chat until the food is ready. They eat their burgers and sangria and continue to catch up.

"We are going to get the Beach house again this summer—all of you should come down. It's like a 12 bedroom house with tons of space and a fire pit." Will said.

"That sounds like fun," Derek said enthusiastically, "Chris and Izzy loved the house last summer"

The rest of the table chimed in, they were psyched about the house; everyone, except Penelope – who could only envision having to wear her happy hat 24/7.

"What are your plans for the summer?" Emily asked Derek and Penelope.

"We haven't decided yet," Penelope said squeezing Derek's hand, "I have to find a day camp – but I haven't thought about anything further than that."

"We were thinking of heading to Charleston or something." Derek threw out there.

"You guys always do the best vacations," Beth said with slight admiration, "I always get vacation envy when I see your pictures on Facebook."

Penelope smiled "I think my favorite one was when we took the kids to Seattle—they were amazed by the small cabin – Chris still draws pictures of it."

"Henry loves the Mother's Day Hike—"

"Yeah we didn't do it this year because you guys had a case—Maybe Father's Day," Beth offered.

"Maybe—" Penelope turns to see Chris putting strawberries in his burger with a bit of dirt and grass, "I told you to stay out of the garden, Christopher" she says as she walks towards the children's table.

"Penelope it's fine—he's just being a boy" Derek said with a chuckle.

"Derek" she said with a warning tone.

"Now we are going to clean you up."

No, Christopher started chanting, as he prepared for his epic tantrum. He threw his burger on the ground and started swatting his mom away.

"Christopher Spencer Morgan, stop that" she said in an authoritative tone.

"This is why I want to stay with daddy, you suck"

"Yes, Christopher, I'm the mean mommy – I suck" she picks him up and carries him inside the house to clean him up, as he continues to cry.

When Penelope leaves, Rossi turns to Derek and repeats Christopher's words, "Stay with Daddy."

"Penelope and I are trying a trial separation— we started 3 weeks and 5 day ago. I should go help clean up Chris." As he heads, into the house the table is speechless.


	2. Chapter 2

**This story is told alternating from present day to the past. It will be a bit challenging to write it this way but I hope you will be able to follow. Also I probably will be only updating once or twice a week :(**

* * *

_**Past—About 1 year after the wedding date (7 years before present day)**_

"No" Penelope says as she buries her head in the cover.

"Come on, honey, you have to get up."

"You are pure evil," she said "you kept me up all night and now I can't sleep in."

"Technically, baby girl, you kept me up all night – and we have to go work. If you keep stalling there will be no latte and croissants for you."

"Look, I'm up, dressed, drinking coffee" he says as he puts the mug close to her nose.

"Arrgh," she groaned "fine. I'm up but I'm not happy." She said getting out of bed heading to the bathroom in all of her naked glory.

He sipped his coffee as he watched her make her way to the bathroom. "I can help you – you know, wash your hair, scrub your back."

"If I can't sleep - you can't get any." She sassed.

He smiled as she closed the door. He was the happiest man in the world. He and Penelope married a year ago in Chicago, all of their friends and family were present for their intimate rooftop ceremony. It seemed like yesterday she walked into Pete's and changed his life for the better.

She makes life exciting – she can make anything an adventure from a trip to the grocery store, to a vegetarian dish, or a bike ride in the park. She had that "je ne sais quoi" – and he loved when she spoke French. She took up running when they were dating – or how she tells it – during their hiatus, and now she was slightly fanatical about it – but he thinks it has more to do with the sweaty sex they have after. He was glad that she didn't lose her curves becoming a runner because he found her voluptuous body intoxicating. She liked her body a bit more fit, because she has more options in the vintage shops – but he loved her body either way. He just loved her he thought.

Clooney ran over to him and he asked his friend if he was hungry. He headed downstairs to feed him and load the supplies into the car. When he was done loading the supplies and tools into the car she came downstairs ready to go. She was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a pink sweatshirt. The shirt was cut like the woman from Flash Dance—y'know off the shoulder—Penelope had this way of making everything sexy.

"Alright, task master, I am ready," she said as she put on her sunglasses and grabbed her wallet.

When they arrived to their future home, she helped Derek unload the new supplies and bring it into their brownstone. The walls were up and floors were in—today was molding and window day. He really wanted to bang this part out, since after this was done they could move in; so, he invited the team over to help. Being as meticulous as he was, Derek insisted that they set-up everyone's work station before they arrived. She loved seeing him this excited about a project. She left the BAU, about a year or two ago, after she fulfilled her jail sentence. It wasn't as bad as it sounds and she often felt that her time at the BAU gave her street cred in the academic community. She was like the Charlie Epps of the BAU, she created programs and supervised a few technology projects for them as a consultant – while being a computer science and robotics professor. Derek's work was too dark for her and she was happy when that chapter in her life was over—she was extremely grateful that she was able to retain the good from that experience. Specifically she was able keep Reid, JJ, Will, Hotch, Beth, Jack, Rossi, Henry, and Emily in her life.

"Sir," she said as she entered the kitchen, "the living room, den, and foyer workstations have been set up."

"Sir," he said questioning. "Get over her Garcia," he said with a playful forcefulness.

"Yes, sir," she said as she pretended to walk like a marine.

"I'm sensing a bit of sass from you Garcia and you know I don't like sass" he said as he pinned her to the wall.

"I'm sorry sir, are you going to punish me." She said daring him to.

"You leave me no choice," he said as he kisses her firmly and passionately.

"Please get a room," JJ says entering the room "we have a child with us." She said feigning disgust.

"Hey Henry!" Penelope cheers, as she dips under Derek's arm to greet them.

"Aunty P!"

She gives him a huge hug.

"You're getting bigger and bigger every day!" She exclaimed.

"And so is your mama," she added.

"Hey, your supposed to be nice to pregnant ladies" JJ said as she rubbed her belly

"Sorry," she chuckled "that was baby envy"

"Well, I know you and Derek know how to make one.. so" she trailed off.

"TMI, JJ—TMI" Will said in his thick Nawlins accent.

"Timing is everything," Penelope said.

How many times had he heard that as her reason for waiting Derek thought slightly annoyed. "So are you ready Will? Thank you for lending me your husband, JJ," he said giving JJ his signature mile.

As they left the room, JJ mouthed sorry to Penelope.

She shook her head and said "Between him and Fran, you would think that is my sole purpose in life."

"You do want them right?" she asked.

"Of 'course, but not like today. I mean, I haven't even started my new job yet—and that commute is going to blow, Anywhoo, what are you guys up today?"

"Museum Birthday Party"

As they continued chatting Reid, Hotch, Rossi, and Emily came in. As she set everyone up at their stations—Derek swung by.

"Everyone is all set-up, sir" she teased but he wasn't in a playful mood.

"Great" he said nonchalantly.

"Hey, can I steal you for a second" she asked Derek.

He nodded and she dragged him into the pantry in the kitchen.

"You aren't annoyed by that JJ comment aren't you?"

"No," he said like a 5 year old.

"I promised to give you a tribe of Morgans she teased and I will – just not today."

"Or tomorrow," he added.

"Derek," she said tilting her head as if that would bring him back to reality

"We have a house to restore, baby girl, and we can't do it from the pantry."

"Hey, I love you handsome," she said making sure she made eye contact because she knew how touchy this topic was for them.

"And I love you honey" he said as he gave her a quick peck. —"But we have to get to work."

* * *

She went to work at Reid and Emily's station in the living room. They had the pleasure of putting in the moldings. Since Penelope was a consultant for the FBI she had monthly meetings with Strauss about projects and tried to problem solve miscellaneous glitches. Every time she had her meeting she tried to have lunch with Reid and Emily – if they weren't on a case.

Sometimes it was hard to catch up with the BAU team because - when Derek was home, she always wanted to spend time with him, which sometimes meant not seeing them as much as she should. Beth and Will she saw frequently, because time always permitted it. Penelope and Beth became running buddies, they run together every Sunday morning, and then hit up the farmer's market. Beth was quirky and fun—she could see how Hotch and Beth balanced each other out. Sometimes the BAU, ladies joined them on their run which was pretty awesome. —when the stars aligned. Penelope never was into exercise before, but running helped her free her mind and think—and she felt like it was her sole responsibility to keep Clooney healthy.

When the finished the moldings, she invited Reid and Emily to head out back. They grabbed a seat at the picnic table, the only piece of furniture in the house. As the rest of the helpers finished up, Penelope took out the plastic cups and the chilled champagne.

Derek looked amazingly sexy – wearing an old pair of jeans, grey t-shirt- with his tattoos glistening from sweat and a splash of sawdust. He also wore a new University of Pennsylvania hat that she gave him when she accepted the visiting professorship. She popped and poured the champagne and he passed it out.

"We would like to thank you all for coming out today and helping us put the final touches on our house-" she grabs Derek's hand and he said "over the years it has been a beautiful thing to see my colleagues become my family." Penelope continues or adds on, "and each day, when we come home, we will remember that you helped us build our home—which will be one of our first memories in this house." Derek interrupts "well not to get too sappy" he said kissing her on her forehead —"Thank you for helping us build our home—you are the best family anyone could ever choose."

Derek raised his cup and then everyone followed suit; they toasted to the new home, couple, friendship, and love.

* * *

Penelope waited for Derek in the living room as he quadruple checked the house to make sure everything was turned off and all the windows were shut. As the last rays of sun beamed into their living room, Derek came behind her and held her waist. He whispered in her ear—"A penny for your thoughts."

"Sometimes can't believe this is our life," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"This house, you, me—it seems surreal sometimes like a world with purple skies and flying elephants."

"You know your crazy right," he said as she turned around to face him.

"I mean think about it, angelfish. Soon the house will be filled with memories, kids, dogs, pictures, furniture, - a life. Everything we make will reside here - in a house we restored with our friends and family – it's like we're about to paint a masterpiece."

The love in her eyes and the vision she was painting caught him off guard and made his heart surge with love. How did he ever get so lucky he wondered as "I love you Mrs. Penelope Morgan," fell from his lips.

"Make love to me husband" she giggled as she returned his kiss.

That night they christened the living room, kitchen, den, and staircase.


	3. Chapter 3

_**This story is more complicated than I originally thought—I've written most of the present day but the flashbacks are the challenge because of they in turn affect—he present day. If I knew how to use the beta reader I would – I hope you enjoy it.**_

_**Author's note: Jackson looks like Keanu Reeves if you need a visual and in Love Makes Things Happen he was Garcia's best friend—now he is dating Emily.**_

**Present Day**

How could this be? Beth thought. Out of the entire team, she was closest to Penelope, well besides Reid. She never let on that anything was bothering her, or that their marriage was in a rocky place. She was always silent when the ladies talked about their relationship—she asked questions but never offered her own antidotal advice. Well once, she said – once you lose the desire to argue, you're only left with silence. Silence can be the most haunting sound she said, because you've given up the fight. She was talking about a movie then, but maybe she was really talking about her. Beth understood why she'd want to keep her feeling to herself. When your family is your husband's colleagues who do you vent to about him. Being a part of a family profilers can be daunting, they never truly stop working—they never truly stop reading you. The last thing that you want to do is to vent to someone's boss or colleague, which is what made their friendship so special, Beth thought. They could vent to each other which the often did. They gave each other insight—like when Derek was mentally out of it for a month or six; it was Beth, who told her about Carl dying in prison and the case. Beth was surprised that Derek didn't share it, but like Aaron when cases hits home they retreated into their heads. Recently, Penelope became so focused on the kids and school – she should have known something was up. She rarely talked about Derek unless it was group girl talk – y'know a sex and the city brunch gathering.

"I should go up there and talk to her." Jackson said as he was getting up.

"No, you shouldn't" Emily said squeezing his hand "there is a reason, they didn't tell us."

"Did anyone know they hit a bump in the road?" Will asked the table.

"I knew they were in a weird place, but I didn't know they'd separated," Reid said matter of factly. "We, Penelope and I, stopped talking about their relationship, maybe a year ago. After Tamara Barnes, she said that it felt weird that to vent about Morgan knowing how close we were and she didn't want to put me in that awkward position – since I am close to both. I assured her nothing was going on but—"

"He so wasn't having an affair," Emily said. "Morgan wasn't having an affair with Tamara – I mean are we in high school and can't have friends outside of the relationship?"

"I wonder what happened." JJ asked thoughtfully as her daughter, Amelia jumped off her lap and headed to play with the boys.

"I think it's the stress of being promoted to Unit Chief did it. It was a huge strain on my marriage to Haley. Maybe I should ask him to come back to our team."

"He needed to grow, Hotch. I think leading a team is something he was destined to do but, we all know the BAU doesn't promote the best relationships—says the man whose been married 3 times."

"Do you think there is someone else? I mean their newlywed phase lasted for like 5 years—"JJ asked

"Derek does get pretty involved in his cases, especially Tamara Barnes—did you know she still comes around? I didn't think anything of it till today." Emily said questioning her previous statement.

"Well what do we know?" Hotch said "We know they have been pretending or acting because they didn't want us to know. Did you notice that when they talked about their summer plans she held and squeezed his hand – that was to make us see a level of intimacy that is no longer there. Derek wants to fix it—that is obvious because he is counting the days since the separation started."

Reid added "Well, after 2 months the likely hood of getting back together diminishes 60%. The push pull of the relationship weakens and memories of love that we see every day when we look at our significant other lessens. Basically, absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder."

"When Chris called her told her she sucks—it was as if she heard that before or something similar—the ways she said yes, I am the bad mommy implies that Morgan is the good guy. I think she is struggling with being both parents to the kids and since they see Morgan less they project all of their emotions on to her—the good and the bad. She is always the bad cop and Morgan is always the good cop. Remember when Henry went through that phase when you did everything wrong Will. It can be emotionally draining on the bad cop." JJ added.

"I hope you guys don't sit around and profile me like this" Will said with a smile.

Jackson and Beth said, "You know they do," Jackson and Beth in unison.

"The question is what can we do to help. We did vow to keep them on track or Fran will have our asses," Rossi said grimly.

"Maybe, I could help him out with Team B so he would have more time with his kids or at least train someone to help him," Emily said hopefully.

"Maybe we can create a position for him within our team – where we alternate being Chief—because he needs to spend more time at home," Hotch suggested.

"Hotch you would do that—that is so sweet," Beth said dreamily.

"Well I am being selfish too—I would like to spend more time with my family too," Hotch added.

"That could work—Let me work on Strauss," Rossi added.

Reid, "you still have that magic touch with her."

Rossi just smiled and nodded.

"Maybe we are focusing too much on Derek what about Penelope? What is she going through? We had drinks about a month ago and she said the most peculiar thing—she said it is hard being a single mother—we were like 3-5 drinks in but, if that is how she really feels in her marriage that speaks volumes as to what needs to be repaired," JJ sad sadly.

"Garcia, would ask not to go all super heroes on her and let them work it out," Jackson

"But if Morgan is already out of the house it becomes a matter of paperwork—does it not?" Emily said once again not being sympathetic to Garcia.

"Wow, after all this time you're still team Morgan?" Jackson asked.

"No, but Penelope knew what we did for a living, she knew the hours, she knew the life—you can't feign ignorance or have buyers remorse now, when you've built a family. It obvious who is leading the charge here—she is."

"Emily people evolve—it not always black or white." Jackson retorted defending his best friend

"Did you know?" Emily asked accusingly.

"Of' course not" he said quickly and frustrated.

"Could we be too late?" JJ asked.

Christopher returns outside and apologizes to Mr. Rossi.

A couple of moments later come Derek and Penelope emerge from the house.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Past—About 1 year and 3 months after the wedding date**_

As Penelope rushes to get a seat in the quiet car of the train, she turns quickly and knocks her coffee onto the sleeve of the man in front of her.

"Fuck" he says as the warm coffee spills on to his jacket.

"I'm sorry."

He lets out a low growl and walks away. She walks after him and apologizes profusely, but it falls on deaf ears; he closes the bathroom door in her face.

Great she thought—what a way to start her first day. Today is an action packed day, with a full day of classes and a faculty mixer in the evening. This is her schedule for the next 9 months, Monday through Thursday she heads to Philadelphia on the 7am train. Her first class is 10:30 and and the 2 hour train ride always gives her time to fine tune her lecture notes. She's teaching two undergraduate classes and one graduate class. Even though she wasn't at MIT, she was happy.

Since, she was a professor she toned down her colorful look a bit- On the first day of anything she always toned down her look, did want to scare the natives, she thought.

* * *

After her first class she called Derek—he was going to be her plus one tonight and she wanted him to meet her supporting characters at the school. She loved when he used her profiling skills at events like this.

"Handsome, what time will you get to Philadelphia. Maybe we can grab dinner before." She said excitedly.

"Philadelphia?" he said as if that was jogging his memory

"It's a faculty night, remember – mingling with the professors of the college? Meeting the wives? Wine- in the city of brotherly love. I can't wait to show you some love—maybe I should get a hotel room—what do you think, angelfish?

"Baby Girl, we haven't even hit the road yet—I won't land till 4 this afternoon."

"But I asked you to go forever ago –" she said with a slight whine

"But, baby girl- I'm exhausted. This case took a lot out of me."

"Every case takes a lot out of you," she snapped—she sighed and resigned to his answer, "I'm sorry about that D. It's fine. I'll be in late tonight."

"Well, I'll let you go – wrap up," she continued.

"Love you, Baby Girl."

"Love you, handsome," she said as if she was on autopilot and hung up her phone.

She was disappointed that he could make it – she wanted him to meet her work supporting characters. She didn't have many opportunities to bond with them or meet their families because almost all of the faculty lived in Pennsylvania – a few commuted from NYC and DC – but they weren't tenured. She wanted to make a good impression—she felt like she was in High School, again.

* * *

After her second class, she went to a cafe off campus to grab a late lunch. It was packed. She was placed at a little table outside. She ordered a latte and salad nicoise. Right after her latte was delivered, a tall man asked to join her. She couldn't see who he was because the sun was glaring in her glasses – when she tried to see his face he went on to explain. "All the tables are taken and I have to teach a class in 40 minutes."

Ah, a fellow teacher—"sure," she said

"I am Penelope Morgan, Robotics Professor"

"Stellan Grahn, Philosophy Professor – you can call me Stella"

"Nice to meet you," she said as she extended her hand. When he reached for her, she noticed the coffee on the sleeve of his white shirt. She added, "Where you on the 7am train this morning?"

He looked at her surprised – and he gave her this sexy smile as if she was one of his fans. She understood how he could think that—he is tall like 6'3 or 6'4, broad shoulders, blond hair – kinda shaggy, like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky, —piercing blue eyes and he was fit; she could see his definition through his suit. He was like a Nordic God she thought. He wore a casual navy suit with a crisp white shirt—no tie and the first button was open. She couldn't put her finger on who he reminded her of – then it hit her—Eric from True Blood. Yes, he was a Nordic God she said smiling to herself.

"I think I spill coffee on you, this morning?" she said apologetically. "I tried to find you to apologize but you were pissed"

"agh, that was you" he said as his smile widened, "I was having that kind of morning, well that kind of day—as you can see I haven't had a moment to change out of the shirt, yet. Sorry for being an ogre this morning"

She chuckled lightly—A Nordic Ogre she thought.

"What?" he asked perplex.

"Nothing" she said smiling, "Let me buy you lunch, I really am sorry."

They continued to chat away and she discovered that he too commuted from DC and had been at the college for 5 years. His family is from Sweden and he visits them during the breaks. They talked about Philosophy, Robotics, Cold Play, and wine. When he had to head out to class, he pulled out money to pay for the meal.

"Hey Plato, this one is on me"

He was surprised by the nickname and so was she—"You can pay next time," he said "Nice meeting you Penelope" and with that he was off.

* * *

Being the only female in her department wasn't anything new – Computer Science and Robotics are male dominated fields—to Penelope. Meeting the wives of her colleagues was always interesting; so many of them married their students- she wondered what statistic Reid had about that. The wives always assumed she wasn't married even though she had a ring on her finger, which should have been a glaring sign.

The Computer Science Department chair, Franklin Simpson – was a love, he was an older gentleman who was very fond of Penelope. He introduced her to the heads of the Mathematics, English, History, and Philosophy Departments. When Franklin was done with politics of the mixer—she snuck away to the bar and ordered a glass of wine. She took a sip and headed to the terrace.

She checked her phone and she had no texts from Derek. He must've been really beat she thought and she felt bad about the guilt trip she laid on him earlier. She started to text him a sexy message when she heard.

"Tuckered out?"

She turned to see Stella behind her smiling.

"Is it that obvious?" she said taking a sip of her wine and putting her phone in her pocket.

"When the most beautiful woman in the room exits, I find it to be my duty to check on her," he said as he walked into her personal space.

She looked up at him and said, "In addition to teaching philosophy you protect damsels in distress. An every day superman" she said with a smile. Why, she thought was she flirting – she looked away from his blue eyes and said, "I actually came out to check on my husband. He had a rough day at work."

"Oh," he said as he brushed her bangs out of her face, "The beautiful ones are always taken."

She blushed, "Well I should go back in side and put back on my party girl hat."

She said and quickly returned to the party.

* * *

When she arrived home that night Derek was up watching the last quarter of a basketball game.

"How was it?" he asked.

"You had to be there" she shrugged as she took off her shoes, and unbuttoned two of the buttons of her shirt. "I'm so exhausted—I've been going since 6 am and I'm dressed like Ally McBeal – do you want a beer?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Who's winning?"

"The bulls"

Derek watches as she pulled her shirt out of her skirt, then she ran her fingers through her hair as she read the headlines from today's paper—that's lying counter in the kitchen. She takes a sip of beer as she puts her knee on the stool. She realizes that she still has her stockings on and unhooks them from her garter belt. Derek can't stop watching the show—she rolls the stockings down slow. He knows the game she's playing and he is game.

Before she moves to the other leg, she takes a sip a beer and asks "Derek what's the score?"

"Uhm, what?" he said. Her black bra peeked through her shirt was taking off her stockings and he could only think about kissing her neck and caressing her skin. The skin between her stockings and skirt looked like porcelain.

She takes another sip and glances over at him seductively—"what's the score?"

"110-91" he answered distractedly.

"Tight game," she takes the other stocking off the same way.

He gets up and heads over to her.

She looks at him and says, "Nope finish watching the game—don't come over her because you are hot and bothered."

"Uh-Huh" he said with sexy smile.

She sprints away from him and he chases her through their new house to the bedroom – where he ravishes her.

"I love it when you wear those stockings" he said panting after their intense lovemaking.

"I know – I wear them just for you."

"Do you now?"

"Yup, I know my husband thinks it sexy and I gotta keep his engine revved," She said playing with his chest.

"Sorry I missed your faculty mixer," he said kissing her forehead.

"You would have hated it—a bunch of self-important stuffy academics and their wives –but I was looking forward to seeing you in a suit," she said as she kissed his collarbone.

He laughed.

"You can really wear a suit, sug– was the case bad?"

"Yeah, a family of Russian gypsies killed entire families for their daughters. Then the daughters would marry the sons – when they were of age."

"That is so sick, D," she said rubbing his cheek and jaw line. "The wives must have had Stockholm's Syndrome."

"Yeah, and Hotch tried to break her but just couldn't—her last words to her son were don't tell them about your brothers."

"Jesus," she knew he was focused on the other unsubs out there. He wanted to save everyone. "But remember you saved two girls today. You're a hero to them." She said giving him a kiss. "You are a hero."

He started playing with her breast—"You always see the bright side don't you?" he asked.

"Life is too short – you have to stay in the sun, handsome. "

"You are my sun," he said and kissed her. In one quick motion, he flipped her on top of him and they made love again and fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

_**Thank you so much for the follows and reviews—they motivate me to keep on the writing train.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Present Day**_

Penelope put Christopher on the counter of the bathroom.

"Hey honey, please stop crying." She said as she wiped his tears with a tissue. "Mommy, just wants you to be healthy and fruits and veggies have to be washed baby."

"I'm not a baby," he cried.

"I know. You're mommy's big boy – but you can't eat everything. Grass and dirt aren't food."

"But I can eat it."

"Yes, you can but it isn't food."

"But, I can eat it" he repeated

"Yes, but just because you can eat it doesn't make it good for you honey- and I only want you to eat things that are good for you and clean." She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Does that make me a bad mommy?"

He shook his head.

"Ok, so when we go outside you are going to what?"

"Not eat grass, and dirt and clean the fruit?"

"I love you, big boy."

"How much? How much?" he asked as if he was on the Price is Right.

She spread her arms as wide as she could and said this much. He jumped from the counter to her arms. This was a game he was getting a bit to big for she thought, as his body slammed into hers. As she turned to the bathroom door she saw Derek.

"Hey little man!"

"Daddy!" he squealed as he leapt from one parent to the next.

"You have to listen to your mommy – understand?"

Christopher shook his head so eagerly, you would have thought Derek promised him a new hot wheels car.

"Now go outside, apologize to Uncle Dave and stay away from the garden." With his marching orders, Chris charged to his next adventure.

As he watched Christopher go, she asked him, "They know right?"

"Yes, as you know a table full of profilers don't miss a thing," he replied cynically.

"I didn't want to tell them like that – I wish sometimes you would just listen to me."

"Oh so I screwed this up too?"

"I'm not saying that," she said frustratedly.

"It sure sounds like that to me."

"This isn't the Derek Morgan Show—I'm not out to get you. They are our family too and I don't want them to feel awkward."

"Come on now,– I'm staying in a hotel, while my family is 5 blocks away—that is awkward. Very Awkward to say the least."

"Derek we agreed to this and now- aaagghh forget it. We should just go out there and address it and call it a day—I am tired of arguing."

As they emerged from the house all eyes were on them. When the approached the head of the table, Derek began to speak, "As you guys know we are trying out a trial separation. We hit a few bumps in the road and thought it would be best to give ourselves space and time to assess our situation," he said as if he was talking about an unsub.

"We didn't want this – Well, I didn't want this awkward moment" gesturing to the table, "so we" she said gesturing between her and Morgan "were hoping that we could figure this out before we had to have a talk about it—because when you talk about it become real – but it is real, I guess. I guess it is real when you can't be under the same roof—so maybe it's been real for a while," she said looking at her hands instead of the faces at the table—which she new they would assess as soon as she left.

She exhaled "We need more margaritas" looking at the empty pitcher on the table "I am going to make more margaritas." She turned and headed to the kitchen.

"I think she is going to need this" Beth said grabbing the empty pitcher. As Derek joined the table JJ rose and passed their daughter Kayla to Will.

Derek, "Sorry to drop that on you guys—She's been wanting me to tell you all but"

"Are you ok?" Emily asked.

"No but, we are going to work through this," he said watching her power walk to the house.

"What happened?" Emily asked knowing she had no authority to.

"We've been arguing over everything – I feel like she mediates on what to nag me about. I don't do enough, I don't share enough, I'm not there enough—nothing is enough for her anymore—the more I try - the more I fail."

"Maybe you should take sometime off," Rossi suggested.

"Well my mom is taking the kids for 3 weeks and we are going to date— as per our therapist instructions. I never thought I would be this person—"

"As long as it get you guys back on track—you gotta do what it takes," Jackson said trying to boost him up.

* * *

In the kitchen, Penelope is looking for a pitcher.

"Looking for this." Beth says as she passes her the pitcher.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you—I wanted to but I thought this negative energy would pass and the universe would bring us back to our happy place—instead we are stuck in the I hate you phase," she laughed cynically to herself as JJ entered.

"The I hate you phase?" JJ asked.

"I don't know where to begin. We've been drifting apart with me being the assistant chair of the department and Derek leading Team B—we are like two ships in the night. It's not like your team—where they lean on each other—he shoulders so much responsibility and rarely comes home before 8pm – Also specializing in crimes against children is his passion but it wears on his soul. He has so much weight on his shoulder because he has so much to prove – that he compartmentalizes us right out of the picture. I mean know how hard the job is but it seems like he never lets the cases go. They linger in his head, he can't sleep, and when we go to therapy – he is so removed that it feels like it is me against him instead of us fixing this. He is so defensive – it's like he can't imagine himself in my shoes. What I feel y'know." She said whipping away her tears

"Hey all couples go through this—you will get past it, honey," Beth said rubbing her shoulder.

"I do believe all things happen for a reason so maybe we have to learn to re-appreciate each other, " she mumbled. "I just need him to be present – you know when he is with me - be with me – but he isn't. He is always somewhere else." she said holding back the tears. "aaaggghhh, Can we do tequila shots as we make the margaritas?

"Sure," Beth said as she grabbed glasses.

She poured them a shot and they slammed it, like they were at a frat party.

"He is seen as the golden boy of FBI. They wanted him to lead the BAU team in NYC and Boston and he turned them both down—they even offered him Hotch's job." JJ said.

"I know – I know, I should give it more time and let him get settled but it has been two years and I just feel so lonely—mentally."

"But he should try and make more time for his family. When Hotch talks about Haley he says that he realized too late how easy it would have been to give her the time she needed but he made the job more important than her. He obsessed about each case till there wasn't any room for her in his head. He didn't learn how to be a father till she died – I don't mean to go all morbid but Derek will figure it out—He loves you more than anything."

"I'm not so sure anymore- Do you want to know how I heard about the case in Chicago? I heard him telling Tamara after my meeting with Strauss. He was discussing his feelings on Buford's death with Tamara—why is Tamara visiting my husband at work—and why is he confiding in her and not me? "

"He would never cheat on you, Garcia," JJ says as if she is shocked the thought crossed her mind.

"How do you know? I mean she is like always around—and it takes everything in me not to hack his email and phone records—because once trust is gone what do you have left and I really don't want to know if they are – you know. I told him he was having an emotional affair with her and - I just can't. - I mean why her? She is so freakin' pretty, smart, and attractive" she muttered. "He asked me y'know. He asked me if we should separate after Christopher started crying asking us to stop fighting – and now he acts as if I put him out." She said crying as she squeezed juice out of the limes for margaritas. Poor lime, Beth thought, as she watched Penelope pulverize it.

"I mean it isn't all bad" she sniffed as she picked up the next lime. "but sex can't be the only way we connect can it? I mean we have a nanny and we could have a date night but we never take advantage of it. He hasn't remembered my birthday in 3 years or our anniversary and I feel like such a nag—I mean I don't mind being in charge of that stuff—" she broke off and cried, "but it feels like if I wasn't - we would do nothing, y'know? I am the designated driver of this relationship and I would like to have a drink once in a while."

"Now he wants to fix things but I don't even know where to start. It just seems too late." She said regaining her composure "and I am too angry – I've been taking yoga two times a week, searching for the fun woman I used to be."

"It will get better—I promise" Beth said, "When I look up love in the dictionary I see you guys."

"You see who we were not who we are today – because today we are…"

"Maybe we can get him to come back to our team- We do miss him, we've tried a few new agents but they don't mesh."

Penelope shook her head "and then he will resent me for it"

"Well, what is your plan back to love?" Beth asks

"That is the million dollar question?" she says as she raises her tequila for a toast.

* * *

As Derek and Hotch threw the ball, to the boys—he asked how he does it? Make it work – work life balance.

"I wasn't so successful the first go around—remember. What I've learned is—there is always going to be a case but I only have one Jack and Beth. So I spread my duties out a bit more. JJ profiles and splits the communication liaison duties. We all do the paperwork digital so I can approve it from anywhere."

"My team is so new, it feels weird to delegate across the board like that. I used to judge you know—I didn't want to be the man who needed to take a day off to mentally prepare to be with his family—but the cases we see in crimes against children truly rattles me to the core. I always wanted to protect children against these heinous crimes but it takes so much out of me. Do you know I background check every teacher and coach who interacts with my kids – I just – I don't know."

"she is my world, Hotch," Derek continued, "I need to figure out how to make home life work—how do you make that work?"

Hotch was perplexed

"It's like she hates me sometimes and everything I do is wrong. It's like when I come home—I am greeted with a to-do list a mile long. Everything is work—hard work. I wish we could just be—every weekend we have an agenda a mile long and I god forbid I ask to just stay home—it's like I am being a lazy father. It's as if she tries to cram in every thing when we see each other that we are just overwhelmed. She says I've forgotten her birthday and anniversary but she starts planning it a month out. All I have to do is show up with a gift and she gets mad that I haven't put in any effort but its like – you've done all the work. She treats me like I'm a kids she has to get dressed and change. Ever since I became the Unit Chief , she treats me like a victim or something fragile—like I will come apart at the seams."

"Well, If you want to come back—to our team, I'm sure we could work something out—maybe we could have two unit chiefs and expand our department."

"No, Hotch. I can work this out."

"But at what cost?"

He continued to throw the ball to Henry – he didn't know the answer to that.

"We are going to therapy and I think we are making progress—I just need her to be Penelope not this neurotic hippy-dippy-alpha-mom who mistakes me for one of her children" he said with a grim chuckle.

"If there is anything I can do—don't hesitate. We can watch the kids for date night or something—anything. What you guys have is magical." Hotch said.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Past—About a year and 4 months after their wedding**_

"Sweetness, come on. Were going to be late," Derek called through the brownstone.

"I'm coming—I'm coming," she said as she hustled to consolidate her purse into her clutch.

"Do you have the basket?" she asked—this was her stalling technique—get him to focus on something else and she could finish her make-up.

"Check," he said.

"Do you have the wine?" she asked as she put on her mascara.

"Hardhead, I have everything—stop stalling." He said hip to her game

"Corkscrew?"

"Penelope" he said as she ran down the stairs.

"I'm ready kind of… I'll finish my make-up in the car."

She was wearing a long mango maxi dress with bright green flat sandals. "You look gorgeous" he said then he pulled her in for a kiss.

"I feel so short with out my heels" she pouted

"Mama, you are short," he said as he opened the door. As she walked through the door, he smacked her butt.

"Don't make me hurt you, handsome."

He laughed.

Once they loaded everything into the car—they hit the road.

"So, you love this guy—huh, Jason Mraz." Derek asked.

"He reminds me of California and just a laid back life—you know, no unsubs or guns."

Derek laughed, "Oh no are you going to go all hippy dippy on me."

"No, reminds me to be mellow—I think your going to like it" she said. "There is something I've been wanting to tell you—" she said changing to a more serious tone, "I well - I think we."

She looked at him and saw the concern cross his face and she said "oh, no Hot Stuff, it isn't bad - I'm not sure if you know, well how would you know. When you stop taking the pill you don't get pregnant immediately your hormones have to get back in balance and that could take a month or two or three – depending on who it is and your hormonal make up."

"Why are you rambling? Is everything ok with you, baby girl?" he asked squeezing her hand.

"I stopped taking the pill two months ago - No, I'm not pregnant but I am ready to start trying building the tribe of Morgan."

He pulled over to a side street and said "What?"

"We moved, my job is great, and I'm ready – all the lights are green." She looked at his face and it was so unreadable—"shit," she said "this should have been a conversation—shouldn't? Wait -did you want to wait a bit. I could get back on the pill—I should've asked. I just thought that you –"

He cut off her rambling with a kiss, "I am so happy Penelope Morgan!"

"I never get tired of hearing that"

He started kissing her shoulder and pulling down her spaghetti strap.

"Derek, we are going to be late."

"We have to get some practice in," he said as he pulled her on top of him.

"Derek," she said as he

"I'll be quick, baby girl"

"Lies, You don't know how to be quick" she said as she hiked up her dress.

* * *

_**5 months later**_

"Are you hungry? Maybe we can grab dinner."

"I can't – I'm meeting Derek and the gang for drinks. Do you want to come? Plato, It could be fun," Penelope said.

"No, I –" he said not being able to come up with a reason fast enough.

"Come on, Plato- I've been dying for you to meet Spencer so you can get your geek on."

"The infamous Spencer Reid"—he chuckled

"Yeah, you never met my Derek either come on!"

"Twist my arm—ok," Stella replied

She spotted the team at their usual table at Pete's. The bar was packed for a Thursday; she grabbed his hand and made their way through the crowd. Once they cleared the pack—she was surrounded by familiar faces. She immediately gave Derek a kiss and said, "Hey Hot Stuff, I've missed you!"

He smiled ear to ear—"you have no idea"

She was about to give him another kiss when she remembered Stella.

Hold that thought she said to Derek

"Team Fab this is Stella!"

"Stella, this is Derek, Emily, Hotch, Beth, JJ, Rossi, Kevin, and the infamous Spencer Reid."

"Infamous?" Spencer asked

"She talks about you all the time" Stella said to Spencer "—this play date has been a year in the making."

"Nice to meet you all," Stella said to the table.

"Stella works at U of Penn professor of philosophy and these guys all work with Derek."

"Does anyone need a drink?" Stella asked.

They shook their heads

He looked at Penelope; "I know, cranberry and ginger, be right back."

When he left she looked at Derek, and kissed him again then groaned –"I feel like he is sitting on my bladder, " She said as she rubbed her little belly. She headed to the restroom

Emily, "I thought Stella was a woman."

"He is all man," Beth said kind of lustfully "—he runs in the park with no shirt on and the women trip all over themselves."

"Really," Hotch asked

"Yeah," Beth continued, "he runs with us sometimes – but normally he laps us and then we shop at the farmers market, after."

"Oh does he now," Derek said teasing her.

"Yeah, that is why I like running with you" looking at Hotch, "—you don't lap me and you could" she said smiling.

"Nice save Mrs. Hotchner"

The table laughed

"They take the train to campus most days—Kevin ran a background check, he is a decent guy, upstanding citizen, who visits his family several times a year, and smokes pot"

"You background checked him?" Spencer asked

"Come on now, you can't be around my baby girl and 24/7 and have me not check."

The table erupted with laughter.

What so funny Penelope asked as she scotched in to the booth next to Derek.

When he returned with her drink—she said thanks Plato.

And he smiled down at her with happiness in his eyes.

He went to the end of the table and grabbed a seat next to Reid.

"How have you been feeling, baby girl?"

"Not too bad, I went for a run this morning and I feel back to normal – no more sickness."

"Do you have any weird cravings?" JJ asked, "When I had Kayla I loved chocolate and bananas—well Nutella."

"Well, you were craving strawberries and peanut butter—but that kinda passed right" Derek asked.

Penelope nodded

"Dog Me!" Stella said from across the table.

She couldn't hold in her laughter and almost spit out her cranberry juice.

What the table asks.

"Now," Stella said, "it's hotdogs with mustard and relish. Like 3 weeks ago—we were walking by a street vendor on campus and Penelope smells hot dogs—she eats 3 right there in one sitting at like 10 in the morning. We continue down the street and a vendor is making cheese steaks. She pukes immediately, because of the smell of the cheese steak. She can't get the hot dogs because he is in a cheese steak vendor sandwich. So every day at 230pm she sends me a text that says Dog Me!"

"They are right in front of his building and his next class is in mine—so it makes sense—I'm not just barking orders at you via text. I mean what is in a cheese steak anyways—I betcha it's discarded cow parts"

"Actually," Reid says "the cheesesteak is made of thinly sliced beed. If my memory is correct it- The cheesesteak was developed in the early 20th century "by combining frizzled beef, onions, and cheese in a small loaf of bread,"

"You never cease to amaze me Reid,- What sucks is that oranges make me queasy and you know how much I love them."

"Well after drinks here—I was thinking dinner at that Gio's." Derek said in a low voice to her.

"Yum! And maybe a movie night—I feel like something sappy with explositions."

"Dark Knight—again baby girl?"

He kissed her again a lingering peck.

"We've really missed you she said I've planned the perfect date night tomorrow. We could see the cherry blossoms at the botanical garden, lunch at Chez Lulu, and Miguel invited us to an art exhibit."

"Ok, Mrs. Morgan—I see you booked us up" he said laughing

"I kinda over did it huh?"

He tapped her nose, "No it is cute baby girl."

Emily noticed that Stella was stealing glances at Garcia as he talked to Reid and Kevin, she noticed it and filed it away for later.

"You guys have had the longest honeymoon period known to man," she said as she watched for Stella's response, which was filed that away for later too, Emily noted.

"This is just who we are," Derek said.

"Totally," Penelope said in agreement, looking at him full of love.

The team continued to chat until it was dinnertime.

When her stomach started to growl—they knew they had to make their exit. She kissed and hugged everyone goodbye. When she got to Stella she said "I know, I know—Plato I will do my homework for the ride in on Monday."

"Homework," Reid asked—"I didn't know you were taking classes."

"No, we are thinking of co-teaching a class on the philosophy of Artificial Intelligence for the graduate students. We have to get our proposal in by the end of the month, "she replied.

"And she's been slacking," Stella added.

"But I'm pregnant—" she said with a child like pout.

"That and a smile can only get you so far Mrs. Morgan, Claude's been pestering."

"Ok, I'll work – you can go over my pages on Monday."

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and grabbed Derek's hand.

"Mama's hungry, handsome."

* * *

_**A lot of people don't like this Penelope - so I've decided to try and post a past and present day story together so. You can be reminded of their love as well as their marital problems at the same time. Don't worry this will be a HEA- but I like the angst drama.**_

_**Thank you for the reviews and follows :)**_


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, give me kiss." Penelope gave Chris and Isabella a hug and dropped them off at Pre-school. She then head drove to Potomac Park for her morning run—as she is on her run, Strauss' assistant Frank calls to push her meeting back to 12pm. Penelope cuts her run short, and heads home to get ready for the meeting – she forgot about the meeting.

* * *

_**At the BAU**_

"Penelope, I'll have Frank work out the details but I would like you to teach Digital Profiling workshop the first two weekends in August."

"Ok, and maybe I could have Rossi or Reid with me to give the overview of how the worlds meet."

"I will send you the workshop's schedule and while I am here I will tour the new classrooms."

"Great, sounds fantastic Penelope. I do look forward to our meetings. Would you like to grab lunch?"

"I normally would but I'm taking Derek out – since he is in town."

"He works so hard – you should be proud of him."

"I am – He is a rock star."

Penelope walked over to Rossi's office to see if he would be interested in co-teaching a class with her and he was excited.

"So kitten, how are things?"

"Things are good – no complaints," she said with a smile.

"I know it isn't my place but I hope you two can work this out. You guys are my love heroes," he said with a genuine smile.

"Well I am trying – matter of fact, I am surprising my husband today and taking him out to lunch – off campus. We used to love going to Katie's - the French Café, about 5 minutes from here."

"Let me know if there is anything, I can do," Rossi said.

"As Derek would say—this only a sun shower right," she said again that forced smile reappeared.

She gets up and walks towards the door—"Thanks again!"

As she approaches Derek's office, she overhears him saying, "She keeps on saying I need to see her point of view and I do—I just don't understand the anger. It's like you know what my job is and what it entails. Am I supposed to quit?"

He continues "I feel like that would make her happy— but I know I would just resent her you know."

"Have you tried explaining this to her? You shouldn't have to quit your job to make your marriage work. Would she quit her's? If she is a career woman like me she should've expected this," the woman says.

_I should've expected this she thought—where does she get off. Am I being selfish she wondered? The kids missed him and she knew she could power through—maybe she was seeking a level of perfection that can't exist._

"My brother's wife was kind of like Penelope—she found it hard to juggle a career and motherhood, but trust me once the kids are in school. It will be easier," the woman followed up with.

_Brother's wife? Is this Tamara? I seriously hate this bitch, Penelope thought._

"If I have to wait till then I don't know what Penelope I'll have left—she has just changed – no evolved into—"

"A crazy woman right?" Penelope finished.

"Hey Derek," Penelope said artificially happy.

"Afternoon, Tamara," she said not taking her eyes off Derek.

"Were you telling your buddy, Tamara here, about your crazy wife. You know we are separated right—of' course you do—I mean he tells you everything," she said super sweetly.

She shook her head "—I came here to make an effort like Dr. Frankel said – to take you to lunch and rekindle the friendship. Tamara did you know we see a couple's therapist who gives us assignments like—have a date night, do something nice for each other, tell your partner what you love about them—I mean you get the gist right, Tamara. It's sad when a doctors has to tell your husband to take you out to dinner," she said thoughtfully as if she was really debating the task.

Penelope returned her eyes to Derek and said, "Well this crazy lady is going to head on out. Tamara maybe you can take my husband out to lunch you look free and definitely willing."

She slammed the door and proceeded to walk towards the elevator bank. To her surprise, Derek did not follow her.

* * *

As Derek got up to follow her, Tamara grabbed his hand.

"You should let her cool off," Tamara suggested, "She'll blow off some steam and when you get home, you can make-up" she said moving her thumb across his knuckles.

He was lost in his thoughts, he never knew Penelope to be like this. Her emotions were like a light switch—and she flipped whenever she felt like it.

"Making up is actually the best part."

"I wouldn't know—I'm staying at the Hyatt."

"What?" she asked surprised by this news.

"We've separated," he said removing his hand from hers.

"I should call her," he said getting up and heading towards his desk. He dialed her number and she sent him straight to voicemail. He didn't leave a message—what could he say. I'm tired of you acting like a bat shit crazy wife—who didn't trust him anymore. He hung up the phone and started rubbing his head.

"Hey" she said touching his bicep, "let me take you out to lunch – you need fresh air and a set of fresh eyes - I'm a set of fresh eyes."

"I have a bunch of work I should do"

"But you aren't going to get any of that done unless you decompress—You've helped me so much. Let me help you."

He looked at her and smiled, "Fine."

As they made their way out JJ, Reid and Emily watched him go.

"I wonder what that's all about" JJ asked, "Do you think he is actually…"

"No," Emily said defending her former partner.

Rossi walked by and asked what they were gossiping about.

"Derek and –" JJ started.

"Yeah, Penelope just surprised him—they are going out to lunch. What did I tell ya—Love conquers all"

"You're a hopeless romantic Rossi—who knew." JJ said

"Well, why is he heading out with Tamara?" Reid asked

"What," Rossi said looking towards the door, "She was just here and—"

"Guys, is this the end of an era?" Emily asked.

* * *

_**Two Days later at Therapy**_

"Why did you expect him to chase you? If you wanted to continue the conversation why didn't you just stay," asked Dr. Frankel.

"Well she was in the room and they were talking about me. What would you have done?" She asked frustratedly.

"You had many options instead of running and expecting him to chase you. Tell me what those options were," he countered. Frankel was king of the counter question—she wished she could do that to her kids, she thought.

"Well I could have, asked her to excuse us and asked him to lunch-But I was so angry—why can't he just leave her alone," she wondered aloud. "What am I lacking that she provides?"

"Have you asked him that?" Frankel asked.

"I am tired of defending the castle—he makes me feel insane because I think she is a problem—but if this was a smoking hot guy who looked like Blair Underwood—he would find an issue with 'our friendship.' I feel like we are beating a dead horse -His dedication to this marriage is shown through his chronic lateness to our sessions why don't you ask him about that."

"This isn't about sides Penelope," Dr. Frankel said as Derek opened the door.

"Sorry, I'm late—I couldn't find parking and it was hard to leave the office," he said as he sat on the couch.

"No problem, we were just talking about Penelope's impromptu lunch date," Dr. Frankel stated.

"Oh Tamara," he said shaking his head, "I just don't understand - a marriage is built on trust and I told you nothing is going on yet you have a panic attack every time you see her like you caught us in the act."

"Is there an act I can catch you in?"

Penelope looked at Dr. Frankel, "I think we should open the relationship, so you can feel free to explore your feelings for her and vice versa—since I am tired of you denying them. If there was someone who you felt I was having an inappropriate relationship with I would end it because how you feel is paramount and if I felt insecure or was questioning us," she sighed, "Why does this become an issue of principle?"

"And we return to trust" he said shaking his head. "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust me or have faith in me. I have those things in you. It shouldn't matter whom I talk to, eat with, or drink with. I'm your husband not a child that needs to be monitored."

"Well why are you talking about me to her?"

"You don't see me going to your classes looking for lovelorn students. When she was at MIT her students loved her and she had a few admirers but who cares—we chose each other. Tamara isn't a lovelorn woman – she was someone who I met on a case who transitioned to being a friend—simple as that. I am tired of talking about this and her. Of' course I talk to my friends about us. Don't you talk to Reid about me, come on now." Derek said annoyed

"I don't – why would I do that, he is our mutual friend. It would be unfair to any of team if I discussed you, because they are your work colleagues too."

"Well, who do you talk to?"Dr. Frankel asked.

She shrugged "I manage—I don't need to speak to anyone about this because I know what I want. I want us to get pass this I want us to be in love again. I am tired of fighting." She said exasperated.

"That's what I want too." Derek added

"Wel,l why are we here?" she asked

They both looked at Dr. Frankel.

"Have you had a date night?" Dr. Frankel asked.

"No, I think we have one planned before we drop of the kids to Fran's. Was thinking we could go to Gio's and then maybe dancing at Adobe Blue," she said

"Penelope let Derek plan it," said Dr. Frankel.

"Derek are you up for planning a date night," Dr. Frankel asked

"Yup." Derek said.

"How does that make you feel Penelope – having Derek plan the evening?"

"I over plan things, so it would be nice to do something laid back," she said.

"Ok, how have the end of day conversations been going," Frankel asked.

"We haven't had one since I imploded in his office," she said with a warily smile.

"I've left messages though," Derek said as if he was trying to earn points in the game.

"Well you need to get back on track with the calls. This is your weekend with the kids right Derek."

"Yes," Derek affirmed.

"Penelope you should get out and do something for you. Treat yourself and have a Penelope day. Sometimes you have to nurture your soul and pamper yourself. Remember you aren't a superwoman."

"So the assignments are going ok, but I need you both to invest more time in cultivating instead of blaming. How can we achieve that?" Frankel asked.

"I've been thinking of transitioning myself back to my old team. They may expand our unit and the hours would be similar but I wouldn't be focused on crimes against children—which would help us mentally get back to who we were," Derek said.

"You would resent me for that" she said.

"I would not," Derek said.

"I heard you tell Tamara that you would and I know you!" she added

He sighed and looked at Dr. Frankel "See what I mean—I know what I want."

"That's time," Frankel said.

* * *

_**We are like 2 or 3 present day chapters away from a transition from this sadness. Bear with me**__**. I like a long windy road to happiness. I am so geeked for this weeks episode! I can't believe Rossi pulls out a gun on Derek.**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Five or Six years after their wedding**_

"Time to get dress Chris," she said picking Christopher out of their bed.

"Let me dress you first," he pleaded

"Nope," she said with finality.

"Please Mommy," he said giving her that Morgan smile.

That smile is her weakness, she smiled "I'm a sucker – what should mommy wear?" She asked him as she picked him up and stood in their walk in closet.

He grabbed Derek's pants, "Nope, those are daddy's."

He grabbed a pair of Derek's suspenders and a black pair of pants, "This works," he said like Tim Gunn.

"Ok, so you want me to dress like Dick Tracy?" She said kissing his head.

"Who," Chris asked.

"Sweetness, where are you?" Derek called in the bedroom.

"In here"

"Izzy is ready," he said smiling. She laughed as soon as she saw Izzy in a green tutu, yellow tights and a pink t-shirt.

"Wow, she is bright," Penelope, said between the giggles.

"She get's her fashion sense from her momma," Derek said adoringly.

She leaned over and kissed him, "how are doing on time?"

"735am."

"Ok, I will be down in 15 minutes," wishing it to be true.

"OK, 30 minutes," he said with a smile, "I'll get breakfast ready."

"Mommy, Mommy" Chris cried wanting all of her attention.

"Yes, honey"

"And this"—he said grabbing one of her fancy black lace bra's.

"He is your son," She laughed.

"And this," Chris said as he grabbed her black and white soccer sneakers.

"Ok, now go be a big boy and get dressed and I will meet you downstairs."

As she emerged down stairs at 8:10 am, dressed as Christopher instructed Derek grinned ear to ear. She was wearing black wide leg trousers, his suspenders, a white fitted t-shirt, and black and white polka dot heels. She put her bag and green cardigan on the chair by the foyer.

"Sweetheart you look delicious," he walked over and put his arm around her waist—"and you smell amazing," he said kissing her neck.

"Well, if being Unit Chief means you wear a suit—I'm officially in love with you," she said.

"Hey, I thought you were already in love with me," he said with fake sadness in tone.

"I'm talkin' love – love—like call out sick love," and she said whispering "handcuff you to the bed love—follow you around in heaven love," she said.

"I love you, Unit Chief Derek Morgan."

"Acting Unit Chief," he corrected

"I'm so proud of you baby—watch they are going to offer you, your own team soon."

"Mommy, Mommy come here—"

"Like his daddy, he doesn't want to share you," Derek whispered. _Christopher was at that age where he wanted her attention all the time. She read that this possessive phase would pass soon._

When she arrived, Chris said, "You look like a princess in pants."

"Thank you—my little prince,"

When Chris noticed her feet and saw she was wearing heels, he began to protest, "Mommy, you have on the wrong shoes."

"Do I?" she said playing dumb.

"Yes, I'll go get them," he said as he tried to hop off his chair.

"Little man, finish eating," Derek told him.

She sat next to Derek and ate a slice of toast and bacon.

"Are we dropping them off at the BAU or are you going to take them to Penn Day care." He asked her.

"Do you guys have a case? If so, I can do lunch with the munchkins after my first class."

"Not that I know of." Derek replied.

"Ok, let me drop them off at the BAU and I will train it in. Oh if you're here tonight let's have a movie night after we tuck them in," she said excitedly.

"I can think of a few more pleasurable things we can do," Derek said, as he licked the jam off the corner of her mouth. He then continued to kiss and caress her back.

"I love you, sugar," she said

"I love you more baby girl," he said "Shit it's 8:27am… we have to go."

* * *

**Four Days Later**

It was a Sunny day in Quantico and she was walking towards him with two coffees.

"Hey Tamara," he said

"Hey Derek," she said, she passed him a coffee, "just the way you like it"

"Awe, you're too good to me." He said smiling at her, "How is your sister in law holding up?"

"Well, I just visited her in LA. She and the kids are settling in fine. Well, they are adjusting but—as good as can be expected."

"I'm glad." He said smiling at her taking a sip of coffee.

"I wanted to thank you for checking on me Derek, without my family here - I've come to rely on our budding friendship. You are a great listener."

He laughs, "I feel like I do all the talking," he says as he takes a seat next to her on the bench.

"You are a talker," she said with a big grin.

"How is the new position going?" Tamara asked.

"It is a lot of work, but I do enjoy it. I can't wait until Hotch can return to the job. I miss seeing my family. My daughter took her first steps when I was in Ohio, on a case. Penelope recorded it with her phone. Do you want to see it?"

"Of course proud papa."

He pulled up the video on his phone and played it for her.

"She is so cute—she looks just like you."

"Christopher is so glad to be an older brother – he loves bossing her around."

They continued chatting until JJ texted him for the 10 am meeting at 10:10am.

"Crap I have to head back up," He said standing up

"It was good to see you – maybe we can grab a drink again soon."

He gave her a hug and dashed up stairs.

_**Later that day—**_

Penelope is sitting in his office and reading her kindle when Derek walks in.

"I thought I could take you out to a pre-anniversary lunch," she said.

"Hmm," he replied.

She continued talking, like a child on a sugar rush, "Yeah, I have Amy booked for tonight, tickets for Alicia Keys concert, and reservation and Luca's. Reservations are so hard to get, but Plato pulled some strings for us since he dates the one of the managers. Wait until you see the dress I bought for our 5th year—it is amaze-balls D! Amaze ballz."

"Penelope, I can't—we are heading to Florida for a case."

"Seriously?" she said unable to hide her pissed ness.

"Yeah," he said regretfully.

"Can you join them tomorrow? I hacked your calendar and blocked off the time D—"

"Hey baby girl, the Director doesn't care about my pressing personal engagements."

"Derek, last year we did nothing and you promised this would be different—we have tickets, reservations, backless dress," she said annoyed.

"I can't," he said simply.

She took a deep breath, "Ok, I know—guilt trip over," she said accepting her reality.

"Maybe Stella or Jackson can go with you to the concert and I'll make it up to you this weekend," Derek said eagerly.

_She knew that weekend would never come—but she couldn't believe he wanted her to go with someone else._

"What?" she said baffled.

"I mean you have tickets, babysitter and dress—I don't want to ruin it." He said

"So you want me to go with someone else?" She said wondering if he knew how irrelevant that made her feel.

"I don't want you to—but I want you to enjoy Alicia Keys, sweetheart," he said as if that was a good reason.

"I'm sorry but I gotta go—meeting," he said grabbing his I-pad.

He kissed her quickly on the lips and dashed out.

She headed out of his office and to the bathroom, before she burst into tears. She couldn't figure out why she was feeling so emotional – pretend it wasn't an anniversary -it was just a date night, nothing big, she told herself. She just felt so … so frustrated. She just needed to relax. It's just another day. _You have your happily ever after_—she told herself. _Be happy_. This was a mantra that she told herself often when he forgot her birthday, anniversary, or cancelled. _You have your happily ever after—Be happy_. After her 20th deep breath, she saw his smile in her head. She wiped her tears. She left the stall and splashed water gently on her eyes so that she could get rid of the tear streaks without ruining her make-up.

_Be Happy_ she said to herself in the mirror.

She then sent a text to Stella.

_Hey- do you have plans tonight? Want to see Alicia Keys tonight?_

_Do you want to get a drink before?_ He replied in like less than 30 seconds, which made her smile.

_We could go to Luca first if you don't mind seeing your girlfriend tonight._

_Ex girlfriend—and yes, so there._

_Great. Meet you there at 630pm._

_Thanks for being free, Plato._

_NP, L8r will call you after class._

_This is your happily ever after—Be happy, _she repeated to herself as she drove home.

* * *

_**Thank you for the reviews and follows. They make me smile.**_

_**This is my story but I can't wait till I get through the next 2 chapters- they break my heart. Next time, I am going to write a happy piece through and through! **_


	9. Chapter 9

_**I think i should change the rating to M for this scene- not sure. beware & I don't own anything.**_

_**Present Day**_

Thank god, this was the last day she had to commute to Philadelphia, Penelope thought. This week had been extremely rough, telling her BAU family about their marital problems, a hard therapy session, and end of semester wrap up (handing in grades, sending off the seniors, and graduation ceremony). She was glad this event was the last thing she had to do. Starting tomorrow, she was going get-up drop the kids off and return to bed – sleeping in sort of was so appealing she thought. As she put the wine bottles on the cart, she said to Stella.

"And that my friend is how you throw an end of semester party," Penelope said as she raised her glass for a toast.

After they clinked glasses, Stella said "Next year, the clean up crew shouldn't be us."

They continued cleaning up and reminiscing about the academic year.

"Can you believe the semester is over?" she asked him as she put the empty wine bottles on the caterer's cart.

"I know it seemed to just fly by," he said as he lit up what looked like half a joint.

"Stella, my husband works for the FBI—and your going to—"

"They aren't looking for us—they're looking for psychopaths. Don't tell me you never," he said gesturing towards the joint.

"I grew up in Southern California, so yes—but not since—I can't even remember."

"Get on the horse," he said passing.

She took one puff and another, then passed it back.

"Maybe next spring semester we can ask one of our department heads to host the party in their house. Since the class is so popular," Stella pondered.

"When I was in college I loved going to my professors house for dinner. It seemed so grown-up you know."

"Look what I found he said point to a half bottle of champagne."

"Is it sad that this is the most fun. I've had in months—maybe I'm a through and through academic?"

"You're too eccentric to be a through and through academic—you're more like a breath of fresh air."

"Let's toast to fresh air," he said said as he leaned on the huge bay window.

She joined him at the window and sat on the bench.

"Let's Toast to us being an awesome duo," she said giving him a tipsy smile.

He groaned "that smile must break hearts around the world" he said as he sat by her. As she bit her bottom lip, she clinked glasses with him.

"I feel like the bubbles in champagne release some type of gas that heightens the effect of alcohol already in the system—I wish Reid was here to tell us what it is."

"Actually Garcia, the champagne grapes are from the Loire section of France that grow poppy seeds," Stella said doing his best Reid impersonation.

"ohmigod, you are spot on Stella."

"What are your plans for the summer," he asked as he refilled their glasses.

"I teach a hacking course at the FBI this August and a bit of consulting. Uhm, take the kids on a few day trips, and yoga of course – what about you?

"Heading home to visit my family in a few weeks and then teaching a summer course to the pre-frosh class, and I have to get published this summer so—I have to work on that—can't be old and stuffy."

"You aren't old and stuffy—I'm sure the women in the park would use other adjectives to describe you."

"what women?" he asked.

"We've been friends for how long?"

"Since you started here."

"And you don't notice the women who stalk you at the park and farmers market—they push Beth and I out of the way to get to you all the time—especially at the Bread Alone Stand – I can't believe you've never noticed"

He shrugged

"That's why your single, Plato—you have to get out of your head and notice the flowers."

"There is only— never mind," he said as looked at her with such passion and desire in his eyes that it unnerved her. She shouldn't be here, she thought.

"I am going to grab my sensible shoes from my office and we can head to the train," she said as she rose. He nodded. He wish he knew what it meant when she bit her lip—it was sexy as all hell, he thought. He fell for her on the moment she spilled hot coffee on him. He was taken by her beauty and color. She used to be so bright and beaming. He knew she was married but that never stopped him from wishin and hopin, he thought as she walked out of the room holding her heels.

Ten minutes passed and he decided to walk to her office. He saw looking for her shoes in her lower cabinet draw. He saw her stockings being held in place with a purple garter belt and he immediate became aroused. The first time he saw that she wore old fashion stockings was at a meeting a few years ago. She crossed her leg, he saw the clip holding it in place, and from that moment on, he always fantasied about taking them off with his teeth. As he cleared his throat, she jumped up and hit her head on a book a shelf.

"Ow," she said as he entered and closed the door behind him. "You shouldn't sneak up on someone like that," she said with a pout.

"Let me see," he said as he felt her head for a bump.

She could smell his cologne which smelt like cotton and wood, or was it linen and wood. The smell was different—she was so used to Derek's woodsy cologne that she never notice another man's scent until today—Stella smelled like a sweeter or crisp version of Derek.

"I'm fine," she said but he stood closer to her. She stood up from the credenza and looked up at him and said, "Really I'm fine." When she looked into his eyes, she saw the heat that made her feel uncomfortably aroused and curious. He bent down and kissed her. He kissed her in such a hungry way that she gasped slightly when he pulled her closer to him. His tongue was exploring her mouth as she answered the kiss. Her tongue trailed his bottom lip as he ran is fingers through her hair and drawing her closer. As a moan escaped her lips, she pressed her body against his, while holding the credenza tightly. Everything happened so fast, he was nibbling her neck; his hands took turns touching her covered flesh—her thighs, stomach, back. She gripped the credenza as tight as she could, but when the need to touch him overwhelmed her, she let go. She took his face in her hands and kissed him slowly and passionately. She pressed herself against his heat and became instantly wet. Touching him sent tingles and sparks through out her body. She began to kiss his jaw line and neck as he inched her skirt to her hips. His fingers moved her wet panties to the side and found her hot wet center. She gasped—with guilt and pleasure. He gently massaged her clit, which was firm and wet. The gentle circular motion became the pace of her breathing. She had her head on his shoulder looking at his hand as they touched her more intimately. When he add his thumb to the massage she gasped and threw her head back as she bit her lip to hold back her moans. When he saw her biting her lip – he knew he wanted all of her. He did not want her to hold back anymore. His lips descended on to hers and she released the moans into his mouth. As she spread her legs more, she realized how weird it was for a man not Derek to touch her there. It felt good; as he caressed her clit his long lingering wet kisses made her stop thinking as she gripped his neck. As the moans escaped her mouth rhythmically she knew wanted him inside her—she opened up his belt and pants, he was standing at attention and throbbing in her hand. At that moment, she knew this was wrong. Reason hit her like a cold shower

"I'm sorry—I can't Stella," she said waking up to her florescent-lit reality. "We had too much to drink and we will regret this tomorrow."

"Penelope, I want you," he whispered as he kissed her neck.

"I'm not ready for this," she said as he raised his head from her neck.

"Ok," he said as he reached for his belt. "I don't want to..."

"Stella, I don't know what is going on with me – I'm married," she started to cry, "I'm married and I have a family. No matter what the state of my marriage is I shouldn't - I don't mean to lead you on."

"Hey – Hey," he said "no tears. I care a lot about you. I know you and Derek are separated. I should have known that you weren't ready for this." He raised her head to make eye contact, "But I do want you." He ran his fingers through his hair, "I should have approached it differently, like dinner and a movie. Or something like that. I want you—I think I always have but I will go at your pace."

"I don't know what pace that is." She said, as he wiped away her tears.

"I mean we are sending the kids to Fran so we can work on our marriage and it feels wrong – it is wrong to date, when we are supposed to reconnect."

"Penelope, I know we never talk about what goes on at home but I- You are an amazing woman and should never feel less than or lacking. If you were mine, I would spend each day showing you how important you are to me." He said stroking her cheek; he kissed her again, "Let me show you"

She looked at him "I –"

"Just one date, Penelope,"

"I need to think about it, Stella"

He smiled.

"I didn't say yes"

"But you didn't say no"

* * *

_**I finally know what you guys mean when you say the muse is gone. I'm going to power through and post what I have up but my love for this story is vamanos. I loved writing Love makes things happen (it kinda wrote itself) but this one is so blah for me. Maybe I can't stand them being apart either (lol). **_


	10. Chapter 10

**Present Day**

Penelope runs out of the car and into the hospital's front desk, "I am looking for Christopher Morgan—he was admitted through the ER." She says frantically to the front desk attendant.

"Fourth floor Room 431," he replies.

She runs to the elevator with her heels clacking like cymbals. She watches the floor numbers change in the elevator—it has never felt so slow. As soon as the doors open, she looks for room 431.

She sees Derek, Hotch, and Emily.

"What happened?"

"Where have you been?" Derek asked accusingly "I've called you every 5 minutes for the past hour"

"How is he? What happened? I was at a movie -turned off my phone."

"He ate mushrooms from the garden – and then fell," Derek said annoyed.

"Can I see him?" she asked.

"They are pumping his stomach he should be back in 15 minutes or so."

Stella turns the corner and Derek takes in her outfit she is wearing a black shift dress pink, yellow, and green tribal prints, black high heeled sandals. Her hair was in soft waves and she had a lot of eyeliner on. She was -

"You were on a fuckin' date Penelope?"

"What?" She said surprised as Stella's hand rubbed her shoulder affectionately.

"This is fuckin'great! I'm here kicking myself because I don't know the song Chris wants me to sing - the boo-boo song, and you are on a fuckin' date."

"Stay away from her—" Derek told Stella

"Morgan calm down," Hotch instructed as if he was on a case.

"You do know you're still married right, sweetheart," he said with venom. As Penelope walked closer to him to calm him down. He took a step around her and grabbed Stella's jacket collar and pushed him against the wall. "Stay away from my wife or"

"Or what?" Stella asked furiously trying to breakout of Derek's hold

"Derek, leave him alone," Penelope said trying to diffuse the situation.

Derek bashed him against the wall and Hotch pulled him off of Stella, Derek swing at him and punched him in the mouth and he was bleeding.

"Walk it off Morgan," Hotch ordered.

Penelope went to Stella's side. She bent into a deep squat and looked at his lip and cheek. "I am so sorry this happened—I don't know what got into him," she reached in her purse for a tissue and started blotting the blood from his lip.

"Thank god, school is out because this would feed the wives club," Stella said trying to make light of the intense situation.

"Who gets punched on an official non-date," he chuckled and then he felt the pain in his jaw, "ow"

"We are in a hospital maybe we should have someone look at it."

"I'm fine," he assured her.

"You sure?" Penelope asked.

"I'll be right back—"she went to talk to her barbaric husband. As soon as she was out of sight Hotch and Emily descended on him.

"You should go—this is a family situation and you are distracting them from their main concern—their son Christopher," Hotch said politely yet firmly.

"I am not that bad guy here—" Stella started.

"I think you are" Emily quipped back

"—I am her friend too and I care about her kids." Stella said

"Well as her friend you should leave and let her focus on her family. I can call you and give you updates if you like," offered Emily.

Stella looked down the hall and saw Derek in her arms –his head was buried in her neck and he was holding her tight.

"Fine," he said and he turned around and headed towards the elevator.

Down the hall, Derek sits wrapped in Penelope's arms.

"You don't get to do this—we are supposed to be trying to put our family back together – I'm trying," he said softly, "I'm trying."

"I know we both are," she said rubbing his head and back trying to simmer him down.

"I'm not your fucking child, Penelope—I'm your husband."

"I know," she said retreating "I just—"

"I wasn't on a date Derek, I just went to see the new Terrance Malick film and Stella joined me."

"Why was he here then?"

"He gave me a ride—what is this 20 questions?"

"Where was your car? Did he pick you up?"

"Derek," she said tilting her head hoping he would stop interrogating her.

"Answer the fucking question! Because it is pretty obvious to me what's going on."

"No," she said standing up, "I'm going to wait for you to calm down—your being irrational."

"What are using this separation to become DC's community bicycle? I should warn them you are hard to maintain," he said bitterly.

She slapped him—she never slapped him before—she thought about it. When she was mad she imagined it. But never in life did she think she would hit him.

"Fuck you, Derek Morgan," she said in a trembling whisper. She walked down the hall and retreated into the bathroom. She locked the door and paced. She splashed some water on her face and touched up her make-up and returned to her the waiting area. She could see Hotch and Emily talking to Derek – as if he was the only one hurting here. She shook her head and realized how strong she needed to be. As a doctor approached her to give her an update, Derek, Hotch and Emily joined them in front of her son's room.

"Everything went well and he will be coming down in 5 minutes. The mushroom weren't poisonous or psychedelic," he said with a smile, "and we would like to keep him overnight for observation."

Thank you they both said.

When he left Derek said Penelope, "I'm sorry."

"Save it Derek—I don't care anymore," she said flatly

As she looked down the hall Chris was being wheeled down.

"Mommy, sing the boo boo song—" he called from the bed.

She smiled, "Once you get in your room"

"How are you?"

"Hungry," Chris said, as the nurse locked the bed in place.

"Sorry for eating the mushrooms," he said.

"You told me not to eat from Rossi's garden—I didn't know you meant all gardens." Chris said a little too prepared.

"I see you've been thinking about it," she smiled, "– and you found a loophole. Hotch, I think we have a future lawyer on our hands."

"I know," the room said in agreement

"I am sorry, Mommy and Daddy." He said emphatically, "Can you please sing the boo boo song?" Penelope began singing the song.

"I

I will be king

And you

You will be queen

Though nothing will

Drive them away

We can beat them

Just for one day

We can be Heroes

We can be Heroes

For ever and ever

What d'you say"

"Yes, we can all be heroes," Chris said and gave her a big hug.

He grabbed Derek and Penelope's hands and put it on his belly, "I'm hungry can you feel it."

"You can't eat anything but broth, little man," he said still holding her hand on her Chris's belly. She took her hand away. "I am going to grab your sister and daddy will stay with you... Be back in 45 minutes," she said as she kissed his forehead.

As she walked out the door, Derek grabbed her arm, "I am sorry."

"Don't," she said as she grabbed her arm back, "You shouldn't touch me unless it transactional—code of whores, sluts, and streetwalkers—and I take my work very seriously."

"Penelope, I didn't mean—"

"I just want this to be over," she said, then she walked away. She picked up her daughter from Beth went home and showered. She cried the most hopeless cry, as she couldn't believe Derek called her a whore. He knew that word had power because of how she was teased in high school for being easy—that is why she transferred junior year and fell into writing code. She had to pull it together she told herself.

She packed an overnight bag for the kids and brought some broth and snacks for everyone.

* * *

The next morning once Christopher was released, Derek headed to Dr. Frankel's office and wait for him.

"Derek, Do we have a session today?" he asked as he entered the building.

"I feel like I am going to lose it Dr. Frankel."

"Relax sit and explain."

"Did we agree to dating other people?" Derek asked the doctor.

"What do you mean?"

"She went on a date – and I don't remember that being apart of the plan," he paused for seconds that seemed like eternity, "I don't trust her—something has changed."

"Derek explains what gives you pause in trusting people." Dr. Frankel said

"Everyone has an agenda—Everyone wants something. Nothing in this life is free. These are just basic precepts of life- Penelope was the exception to the rule. She only wanted me. Now she's going on dates and I thought the whole point of this was to get us back together."

"It is Derek - Please sit."

"I don't want to sit – See I never wanted to be like Hotch," he said as he continued to pace, "I never wanted the job to become more important than my family. But now, my family is gone. I punched him."

"Who?"

"Penelope's boyfriend—I couldn't help it. He was there at the hospital and I just lost it."

"Hospital? Derek what happened."

Derek went on to explain what happened yesterday and how it was supposed to be Penelope's day for herself and she went on a date with Stella.

"Christopher was sick—my fault because I could not protect him. I could not reach her—and she is wearing this sexy dress, looking beautiful actually, for him."

"Did she call it a date—or did you assume?"

"I don't know" he said, "Something about the way he touched her and she comforted him was too intimate."

"But you aren't sure—you are assuming. The way she assumes something more is going on with you and Tamara."

"This isn't the same!"

"How? Something about the relationship she has with Stella makes you question – your relationship with her. According to you and based on what you said during our sessions—Penelope should just know who you are and that you would never act inappropriately. Can't you extend her the same courtesy? This is what you expect her to do. Like you and Tamara, they are just friends," said Dr. Frankel.

"But they're not," Derek protested

"You have no facts Derek, just a feeling," Dr. Frankel explained

"The looks he gave her and when I told him to stay away from her, he said or what – as if he was challenging me for my own wife," Derek said matter of factly, "To me this wasn't about Tamara – it was about time and commitment to the family. I would never cheat on her—I mean she is my life, my world, my everything—I just didn't want her hold on to me so tight. She started to micromanage me in a way that felt suffocating. Her telling me who to talk to felt like her putting out my clothes in the morning. Yes, I forgot an anniversary or two but I just saw the big picture—we are going to have 50 of them – some better than others. Life has ups and downs—I didn't think it was it."

"It's not Derek—I think you are finally seeing it from Penelope's perspective and she is seeing the relationship from yours. This is a launching point to reconciliation."

"I've already called a lawyer—I can't be with her if she was with him. I would rather be alone for the rest of my days – than have that image haunt me—selfish yes. But she knows that about me—all or nothing," Derek said angrily.

"Derek, you and your wife love each other tremendously. This isn't a fork in the road – it is a bump."

"No, it's a fork," Derek replied.

* * *

Penelope took the kids to the park; she played and read to them until she needed a naptime. When they returned home, she made them a late afternoon snack. When they were done eating, they all put on their play clothes and headed to the backyard. Penelope threw on a pink t-shirt, cut off jean skirt, yellow suspenders, and bright-stripped soccer socks (they're like knee highs)—he goalie outfit. She put her hair in two pigtails and gathered the kids.

She played with the kids and it was beyond fun she thought. Her plan was to tire them out but in reality, she was the one in need of a nap. As she got on her knees for penalty kicks, the kids screamed Daddy and ran to Derek.

She got up off her knees and wiped the dirt on to her skirt. As the kids flew into his arms, she felt a pang of guilt. She walked over to them.

"I tried to call but I kept on getting your voicemail so I popped over," Derek informed her.

She reached for her phone and saw it was completely dead. As the kids told him about their adventures, she headed inside to charge up her phone.

"Daddy we're having pizza tonight—can I have your mushrooms?" Izzy asked, "You always give them to mommy but today I want them"

Izzy turned to her mom, "can I have daddy's mushrooms?"

"Is that your way of telling me your hungry?" Penelope said.

"Can you stay for dinner D?" she asked.

Yes, the kids screamed in unison.

As the kids, set the table Penelope asked Derek if he wanted beer or wine. He chose beer and headed to the kitchen with her.

She passed him a beer.

"I retained a lawyer today. Do you want to share one or do you want your own?"

"Why?" she asked.

"Penelope your seeing other people, dating, - moving on—this our new reality."

"But it wasn't a date, yes we kissed—well made out but it wasn't that day. It wasn't a date—it was just a movie," she said flustered and discombobulated.

"That day" Derek repeated, hurt and anger filled his eyes and heart. His worst nightmare was realized in that moment.

"Daddy let me show you my portrait," Chris said.

"We need to do this nice and smoothly for them," he said clinically.

* * *

After dinner, Derek went to the hotel bar and ordered a beer and a whiskey. He took off his wedding band and he was spinning it like a top. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Penelope in bed with Stella moaning his name. Digging her nails into is back. How long he wondered. How long had she been with him? His world was crashing in around him and he couldn't stop it.

He kept on hearing her voice, _but it wasn't a date, yes we kissed—well made out but it wasn't that day. It wasn't a date—it was._

It was over he thought. What he feared most was happening. He lost her. He lost his family. Things became so ugly and black. Penelope wasn't an adulteress or he thought she wasn't but the facts are the facts.

He took a swig of his whiskey and the burn made him close his eyes. Where he saw how Stella caressed his wife at the hospital. His wife. These twisted thoughts won't leave him be. They spun around his head and he was amazed how all the hope drained from his life. How quickly the sun dropped from his horizon. She inspired him to be better. But what did he give her. He always de-prioritized her. He could see that now. She just wanted to take time to celebrate them and he always put it off as if tomorrow was inherently coming around the corner. Tomorrow was around the corner—but it wasn't the tomorrow he dreamt of.

As he spun his ring around, he laughed. He now understood the song that caused her to cry profusely at Les Miserable.

And still I dream (s)he'll come to me

That we will live the years together

But there are dreams that cannot be

And there are storms we cannot weather

Life has killed that dream I dreamed, was the verse that stood out for him.

Reid would laugh to know at a time like this a musical was going through his head. She did change him—he thought, no woman ever dragged him to a musical, even if it was a movie. He drank his beer and gestured to the bartender for another round of whiskey and beer. Maybe, he did this, he thought, could this all be his fault.

Penelope called him and he sent her to voicemail. He needed to talk to someone.

"Can you meet me at the Hyatt bar?"

Within 20 minutes later, she sat down next to him at the bar. She watched him spin his wedding ring and she put his hand on top of his.

"Put it back on, Morgan."

"Emily, she was with someone else."

She said it again, "Put the ring back on Morgan. It's not over."

"I keep on seeing it in my mind—I have a lawyer. We're over."

"Don't let pride and pity dictate your next move. She loves you and she always will. So, she made a mistake, or had a lapse in judgment. She loves you more than anything and she will fight for you."

"I just wonder at what moment. What moment did I become so unbearable that I," he couldn't finish that thought.

"A year or so ago. I was in the bathroom when she came in. She didn't know I was there and she was talking to herself. She was upset because you forgot the anniversary. She was giving herself this pep talk. She was pissed at you for suggesting she go with someone else, but she Woosa her way through it. She repeated to herself you have your happy ever after, be happy. She didn't want to guilt you but she was disappointed. Now does that sound like someone who doesn't love you?" Emily asked.

Emily continued, "I think Stella has been taken with Penelope for quite some time and he saw an opportunity and jumped. Do I want to fuck him up? Yes. Did he take advantage of her emotional state? Maybe. Did she want to get back at you – for your friendship with a woman who obviously has ulterior motives? Maybe. Do you end a marriage over something so petty?" she waited for Derek to reply but the silence hung between them. She patted his hand and said "No. This is just worse. Better is around the corner."

"Better is around the corner—can we put that on a t-shirt," he said like a smart ass.

"I'm serious, Derek."

"I don't want to scare her into coming back to me—I want her to want it. She will do it for the kids, to maintain our family unit, but If she loves him, wants him-"

"Give her a chance– she loves you Morgan."

* * *

_**Finally some fun waits for us around the corner (next chapter). Thank you for the reviews and the follows.**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer- I own nothing! Thank you for all of the follows and reviews!**

* * *

Derek was washing the last cup from brunch, when he looked out of his mother's kitchen window and saw his family playing in the yard. He kept on thinking about what he told Emily, about Garcia being passive and not fighting. That is so not who she is at all, he thought, She is the doer in the relationship. Her life has always been ordered and colorful. He could see all the effort she put in and what he actually gave in return - the scale wasn't equal. I mean, I asked her to go to a concert with him; he shook his head as he continued to wash the cup. It's as if I said here take my wife. I had faith in our bond and our vows—maybe too much faith he thought. He never trusted another woman like he trusted her—and now it was all out the window. All I see in my head is them – at the farmer's market, he came to their house - he made the man a burger! He was always there – always around. What void did he fill that I couldn't? How could I ever trust her again—or myself?

"Baby Boy, I am sure the cup is clean," Fran said as she watched her son clean the same cup for 10 minutes.

"What's on your mind, honey?"

"Nothing," he said listlessly.

"Is this about Penelope?"

"I was just day dreaming and thinking—we should head out"

"You know you can always come to me right?" Fran assured him.

"I know mom," he said as he kissed her forehead.

* * *

"I can't believe they didn't cry," she said to Derek, as they walked down the porch steps.

"My mom has the magic touch."

As they made their way down to the car, Fran opened the door.

"Hey," Fran said, "I forgot to give you these—Today is Taste of Chicago and the Park Tower Hotel is having a tasting lunch. Rossi and I went last year and it was amazing."

"Thanks, but you really shouldn't have mom. I meeting up with some of the guys today and"

Penelope realized that she had to chime in but she had no plans because she thought they were spending the day together.

"I have to prepare for a seminar," she said knowing that wasn't a good excuse.

"Those tickets are pretty pricey—you should really check it out."

"Why were you at the Park Tower with Rossi?" he asked remembering how she knew about the event.

"I was eating," she said passing him the tickets, "go and have fun!"

* * *

As Fran watched them drive a way, she pulled out her phone and called Rossi.

"I did what I could on my end. I sent them on a date—I don't want to have an intervention."

"When do they head back," he asked.

"Penelope heads back tomorrow and I think Derek stays a few more days."

"Ok, Derek transitions back to our team at the end of the week so we will plan another impromptu date. I've enlisted Hotch's wife Beth to help with that. Do you remember her?"

"I think so," Fran said stubbornly, "We're going to fix this."

"I should just sit them down here, Rossi. This isn't how I raised Derek."

"No, then he would be on to us—did he tell you he lawyered up?" Rossi asked

"What?" she asked shocked.

"Exactly, honey."

"I'll call you tomorrow," Fran said

* * *

The waitress sits them at window that over looks the city. They look over the menu in silence. Derek's jaw is tight and she is tapping her foot, they are both thinking about what to say.

"So what are our next legal steps-"

"We should try red sangria—"

They say simultaneously.

Penelope says, "No you go first."

"I was thinking we should order a half pitcher of the red sangria, what were you thinking?"

"That sounds good to me," she continued to look out over the city.

She looked over at him and said, "Derek, I don't want a divorce. Your lawyer – well our lawyer, has already emailed me and I know this is not something I want."

"What do you want, Penelope?" he said looking at her intently.

"I want us to be happy and a family again," she said earnestly.

"You make it seem so simple—but we've been," he said lowering his eyes.

She interrupted, "it is that simple, I love you and you love me—everything else will fall into place," she said squeezing his hand.

"It's not that easy -I just don't trust you anymore and," he said as if it was an irreconcilable truth.

She let go of his hand, "But you still love me right?"

"Yes, but what's love without trust?" he asked returning her gaze. She saw the finality in his eyes and she knew that stubborn Morgan streak would be the wall keeping her from his heart.

The waitress returned with their pitcher and took their food order. Penelope returned her gaze out the window and wished she was anywhere but here. Their food came and they ate in a comfortable silence.

The check came and Penelope said, "This is kind of like our last date, isn't it?" she said realizing the vultures were circling. Soon they would be arguing over simple things like plates and glasses. She made a promise to herself that she wouldn't become that person. She knew none of those things would fill the void he was about to leave in her life. She continued, "I wish we didn't know, like movie Before Sunrise—at any moment that epic date could have ended but it just kept on going. Kind of like our first time in Chicago, do you remember?"

He smiled, "Yeah, we had like 36 hours in Chicago and I wanted introduce you to my family and show you the sights."

"I think that was our best date ever – I don't think we slept," she said trying to remember.

"We left that party at like 5 in the morning and our flight was at 730. You snored so loud on the plane. I felt bad for the kid with the window seat," he said laughing as he remembered the kids face.

She laughed—the first time in a long time.

"I think New Orleans, or Cape Cod was our best date," he said strolling down memory lane.

"Really? I see those more as getaways. Those MIT long weekends were the best weren't they? We rode our bikes from the ferry to the lighthouse."

"We had drinks on the porch of that mansion—what was the drink?

"Paloma, we served them at our wedding. Yes, Cape Code was amazing, but NOLA, shouldn't count- you proposed there."

"Come on now, here you go with the rules. Dancing the 2nd line on St. Charles Street and riding our bikes down Camp Street – ultimate date regardless if it ended with a ring."

"The ring was a topper," she said with a smile, "then we went to Coops Place—best jambalaya in the world."

"That's blasphemous," he teased.

"Kidding, the Morgan's recipe is tops," she said with a chuckle.

The waitress came and took the check and Derek said no change.

They both stood up awkwardly and "well I'm going to the ladies—maybe I'll see you later tonight but definitely before I leave tomorrow."

"Ok," he said as she turned and headed to the restroom. He watched her walk out of the restaurant to the lobby of the hotel and out of sight. She was gone just like that. He started to walk in her direction, not knowing why – he just knew it couldn't end like this. His emotions fluctuated like a pendulum, between love and anger, yet he always knew that she was always the destination—she would always be home to him.

She saw him as she came out of the bathroom—"hi trouble," she said, "are you stalking me?"

"I was thinking that since he have these passes maybe we should—"

"Have an epic date?" she finished.

"Something like," that he smiled.

"Well what are the rules—" she asked

Derek shook his head, "you and the rules—"

"Come on, we need parameters to keep us in line right? Unless you want to pretend that we have no history—" she said sarcastically

That was the best idea he heard all day, "Hi! I'm James and I think I saw you at the Neurology Seminar" he pointed to the sign and smiled, "Are you a surgeon?"

She nodded and he followed up with "At John Hopkins."

"Sam," she said extending, "Samantha and I am a surgeon too—at the Mayo Clinic."

"Of course you would choose the top hospital in the United States," Derek said sarcastically.

"What was that James?" she said with a challenge in her eyes.

"Nothing," he said getting back into character.

"So, are you from Chicago?" she asked

"No, Virginia. I'm staying the weekend," he replied, "I've never been to Chicago and I want to take in the sights."

"Well, your in luck—I know Chicago like the back of my hand." She said proudly.

"Oh really now—" he said arching his eyebrow and smiling. "So what's our first stop?" he asked wondering how far they could take this pretend game.

"It's a surprise." The truth was she had no idea but she was going to wing it.

* * *

Thank you for all of the reviews! I am so in love with Penelope and Derek in this story and I'm glad that you are enjoying it as well.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing :( **

**Thanks for the awesome reviews Lenika08, jenny crum, kimd33, ceecee333, DMfANATiC69, msjei09, MH96, KiraraKitty08, garmor - you guys have been reviewing since the my first story and I truly appreciate you!**

* * *

"Ok, first stop - Wrigley Field. Pat's is a super famous bar with the best Chicago style hot dog. Have you ever had a hot dog Chicago style?" she asked.

He played along and shook his head. Even though, he knew it was a hot dog topped with yellow mustard; chopped white onions; bright green sweet pickle relish; a dill pickle spear; tomato slices; pickled sport peppers; and celery salt

"Well your mouth is in for a treat! We can have one and watch the last two or three innings of the Phillies vs. the Cubs."

There was a table free in the back of the packed bar, they nabbed it and Derek was going to get beers.

"Nope your in my hood. Sit, be back in less than 5." She weaved her way through the crowd disappeared into the crowd.

As she made her way to the bar she spotted a Latino bar back. She knew a few Spanish words including cerveza.

"Bueno guapo, ¿puedes ayudarme a conseguir una cerveza y dos perros - al estilo de Chicago?" (Hey handsome, can you help me get a beer and two dogs- Chicago style?)

"Lo que sea por la hermosa dama hablando la lengua de mi madre. Soy Jose." (Anything for the pretty lady speaking my mother's tongue. I'm Jose.)

"Soy Penélope. muchas gracias! (I'm Penelope, Thank you so much), she said as he passed her a tray with her beer and a number to put on her table for food.

As she made her way back to the table bearing beer, Derek was impressed.

"How did you cut the mile long line?"

"You'd be amazed by the power of being a woman," she said as she sat super close to him. He could smell her hair, which always smelled like oranges and honeysuckle. She wore a cut off jean skirt with iron on power puff girl and wonder women patches; red sandals; and two tank tops one red and the other yellow. Her hair is in a messy side a ponytail that reaches her right breast. As she crossed her legs he saw the definition in her thighs, he couldn't help but touch her thigh and this made her look over at him in mid sip.

"The Cubs may actually win today, they are tied at the top of the 7th," he said as he kept his hand on her leg.

"Don't get too excited Hot Stuff, they haven graced a world series since, 1902 and they haven't beat the Phillies in 7 years."

He laughed, "You know stats too? —I think you may be the girl of my dreams," he said laughing.

"Nope stats aren't —,"her thought was interrupted when Castillo, the pitcher, hit a home run. "Look at that," she said.

They continued to watch the game and the Cubs beat the Phillies 9 to 6.

* * *

"So baby girl, what's next?"

The use of her pet name warmed her heart. "I thought you liked surprises, hot stuff"

"A strange woman taking me around the city. By the end of the day I could end up locked in your basement as a sex slave—you could be a sick unsub."

She stepped closer to him, "What's an unsub, Dr. James?" she asked innocently.

He laughed at himself, "That's what they call criminals on Law & Order, I think."

"Well, if I was a criminal, Hot Stuff—I would chain you to my bed and take advantage of you but, I'm not that kinda girl" she said as she kissed the corner of his mouth, "I'm naughtier"

He laughed and took her hand, "lead the way."

They hopped into the car and went to one end of the Millennial Park, which was converted to a huge county style fair. The park was peppered with signature carnival rides, games, and activities. There were pop up tents for popular radio stations. These tents included dance floors, DJs, and live bands — battling for your ears. Vendor Alley was filled with dress, earrings, t-shirts, anything you can imagine someone was selling. As the walked through the entrance holding hands, they debated which way to go.

"Do you wobble?"

"What?" she asked

"Come on," he said pulling her towards the booth.

He found a space on the floor of the 103.5 pop-up, and they started doing the wobble dance. The DJ called out the moves over the microphone as the music played. She watched all the women do their own version of the dance and she attempted to add her own Garcia splash to the move. She added a cha-cha every time they had to step out with their right foot. This dance reminded her of the Electric Slide but sexier. When the song was over Derek spun her around and kissed her on her lips, she opened her mouth slightly and his tongue explored her mouth gingerly. He placed his hand on her head and drew her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he started to smile as he dipped her. He swung her back up to her feet and she smiled as she put her hand over her heart.

"Geez, handsome!"

"Do you want hit up the Ferris Wheel?"

"Sure," as they made their way over to the Ferris Wheel, she spotted a cotton candy stand and bought a small pink candy.

"This always seems like a good idea—but by the 4th bite you realize you've been had—James do you want some?"

"Nuh-uh, my mother never let us eat that stuff because it is bad for your teeth."

"Do you do everything your mama says?"

"Just the smart stuff she says—and avoiding cotton candy is one of them."

As they waited on line for the Ferris Wheel, he couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun.

As they walked into their passenger car of the Ferris Wheel, Penelope took one more piece of cotton candy and threw the rest away. As the car took off, they appreciated the beautiful bird's eye view of the city. Derek scooted closer to see what she is looking at.

"The city is beautiful isn't it?"

"Not as beautiful as you," he said and smiled.

"I bet you can say any cheesy line with that smile and the women just swoon."

He chuckled, "actually, I took my first girlfriend up on a Ferris Wheel just like one. I saw so nervous—sweaty palms and all. I planned to kiss her in a car just like this one. I thought it would be romantic. Since, my dad proposed to my mom on a Ferris Wheel. Anyway, I brought her up here after I won her all of these stuffed animals and I sat right over there," he said pointing to the other side of the car "I choked and I couldn't make a move. I wasn't always smooth," he said.

"I think – I've always been smooth," she said as she leaned in for a kiss. They made out like school kids as the wheel went around the city. When the operator knocked on the car door, they parted. She smiled at him and said, "I thought it was only fitting to replace your old memory with a new one- don't be afraid to go with your gut." He placed his hand on her lower back and led her down the exit ramp.

"I hate to be a party pooper but I have to go to the bathroom and I don't do port pottys."

"There is a hotel on the other side of the fair—we could swing by," he suggested.

"Awesome"

As they made there way towards the hotel she gasped, "OMG, corndogs!" she grabbed his hand and led him through the crowd. The glee in her eyes reminded him of their daughter. "Do you want one?" He shook his head. She grabbed on and continued their journey to the hotel.

"I have to tell you – I have a problem. I have a hot dog problem. I never met one I didn't like," she said as she took a bite. This reminded him Stella; he always brought her hot dogs for a midday snack when she was pregnant. Those images of her and Stella invade his mind and he stiffened up. He let go of her hand and shoved them in his pockets. He needed to get out of there and away from her. This imaginary game they were playing had to stop he thought. He couldn't pretend that last week didn't happen and he had no idea how many minutes it would take to forgive her, he knew it was more than the time they had.

"The hotel is over there," he said as he walked away.

She had a hard time keeping up with him weaving through the crowd, as they reached the hotel he said, "I have to go too—I'll meet you outside."

When she was finished she waited outside, she spotted a young hip bellboy—who looked like he would know something fun and un-touristy to do tonight.

"Hi," she said. "I am wondering if you could help me out – where can I go dancing, like a neighborhood hip hop dance party—"

He prattled off a couple of places but the best one was Negril, a West Indian Restaurant that had a club downstairs.

She put the info in her phone, as Derek came out of the hotel.

"What was that about?" he asked.

"Nothing? So what do you want—"

"Isn't he a bit young for you Penelope?" he asked her accusingly.

He thought she was collecting numbers for dates, the green eyed monster reared it ugly head at the strangest of times, she thought, "Samantha" she corrected, "and he was giving me directions"

"Let's go to Miracle Mile and get some dancing attire," she said, as she kissed his lips, "No ifs, ands, or buts."

* * *

Penelope bought an electric blue dress. The dress had a low cut back that showed her black bra. She wore matching black sandals to match, the bra—and her make-up was flawless with a fire engine red lip. Derek wore as semi tight V-neck t-shirt - half tucked into his dress pants and dark green boat shoes. They looked so ready for a fun night on the town.

Negril was a nice classy restaurant and they sat at a small table in the middle of the restaurant. It was dark, with a live reggae smooth jazz kind of band playing the hits. They had light conversation until they're done with dinner and their rum punch. Derek said, "Thank you for the great day, Sam. It was great to Chicago through a native's eyes. How did you find this place?"

"My favorite restaurant closed and Jason, the bellhop at the hotel, recommended this restaurant. He said it opened last month—pretty trendy." She said smiling.

"Well, I should get back—" Derek said.

"Nah-Uh, do you know what day it is?"

He shook his head.

"Today is Biggie Smalls Birthday and they are throwing an official Brooklyn house party. We have to check it out."

"Hip Hop Party, really now?"

"Yup, you seem like you have some moves," She said challenging him. "And baby, I've got moves you haven't even seen yet." She said answering the question in his eyes.

"Game on," Derek said, "where is this club?"

"Downstairs," she gestured for the check.

She led him downstairs and they were in the middle of a club. The club was half way full. People were already on the dance floor and the bar was packed. Drink she asked.

They headed to the bar and had a drink, rum and coke.

"D is that you," called a tall African American man.

"T-Dog " they hugged and Derek slapped his back.

"Derek this is my wife Melissa"

"This is my wife Penelope"

The two men started reminiscing about the old days, while Penelope and Melissa exchanged pleasantries over their drinks. When Mo Money/ Mo Problems came on they both caught with the dancing bug. "Want to hit the floor," Mel asked Penelope.

"Sure, but I'm Puff Daddy and your Mase."

Mel laughed.

"No really I do a mean Puff Daddy impersonation," Penelope said, "It always cracks my students up."

"We're hitting the floor, Hot Stuff," Penelope whispered into Derek's ear.

He was torn – he wanted to catch-up with his friends but she looked amazing. He watched them make their way to the floor. Her moves were hypnotizing, she knew the lyrics; he never saw this side of her before, she was getting down like she was raised in Brooklyn. He laughed when she started to do her P Diddy impersonation.

Melissa was a great dancer, it was easy to have fun on the dance floor with her, Penelope thought. They took turns being Mase and Puff Daddy during the song. Thank god for her salsa classes, she learned how to dance and she found most moves could transcend all genres of music. The club erupted when All About the Benjamins came on. Two guys came over and tried to dance with them. They respectfully declined, She felt a hand on her hip and she turned around to decline and saw Derek.

"Hey you," he said kissing her forehead, "Where did you get those moves from."

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"That dress is going to be the death of me," he said as his fingers touched her bare back."

"Oh, no" she pouted, "you can't die—I haven't even had my test drive, yet," she said as she tried to feel his abs through his shirt.

He laughed a surprisingly hearty laugh.

They danced the night away.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING**

**Oh, and the angst ends today (just 1 or 2 more chapters which will post today). Oh and this chapter is my first foray into steamy sex- you've been warned :P**

* * *

After Negril, Morgan dropped her off at her hotel and parked the car. She sat at a table in the bar area and waited for him. As she waited, the waitress came over and asked her if she wanted a drink. Tomorrow they would be the same Penelope and Derek ending a marriage, she ordered a Jameson on the rocks. She danced all of the alcohol out her system and she needed her preferred nightcap, to warm her up. This had become her new nightly routine—Jameson and sleeping on the couch. The waitress brought over her drink super quickly and told her the guys at the bar wanted to buy it. Penelope told her to tell them thank you but to charge it to her room 3117.

As she sipped her drink, a semi attractive man came over and said, "my friends and I made a bet about what you do."

She looks up uninterested, "I'm sorry it been a long day and I would like to just enjoy my drink alone."

"But don't you want to know what we –"

She shook her head and said, "I'm sorry"

He nodded and walked away. As he walked back to his friends, he said no dice.

His other friend walked over a few moments later and said "Excuse me miss, are you here for the medical technology convention. I think I saw you in the earlier session today."

She smiled and said, "No, I'm not a part of the convention."

He started to sit down and she said informed him that she was waiting for someone. The handsome gentleman apologized and returned to the bar. His guy friends laughed at him for being shot down too.

Derek watched as they guys try to pick up Penelope. They had such a great time today, it was like old times and he could almost forget what was waiting for them tomorrow.

She is loking at the Chicago skyline, thinking about the promise she made to Fran. Forever is forever, not 7 years. Soon they will meet with lawyers and dissolve their union, like the ice was dissolving into the Jameson. However, it still didn't feel real to her. She took a sip of her Jameson and wondered if this was truly, what he wanted, this was what Derek wanted, she thought trying to convince herself. Maybe, on some level, he was just tired of her. He always asked how did they get here and on the eve of dissolving their marriage she was wondering the same thing. As a tear sailed down her cheek, she saw his reflection in the window. She wiped the tear quickly and looked up.

"Sam, Can I buy you a drink?" He asked.

She nodded her head, as she took a sip from her Jameson and gestured towards the seat in front of her.

He looked around for a waitress.

"The service here is kind of slow— "

"I could go to the bar –" he followed.

She began to protest

"Why are the guys bothering you?"

"No, but you just got here" she said smiling

"We could share the drink," she said as she passed him her glass.

"Whiskey?" He asked

"Yes,"

"You don't seem like a whiskey kind of lady," he said as he took a sip.

"So, Sam what time is your flight?"

"Tomorrow at 2pm."

"You don't look like a neurosurgeon," he said, "you look like a goddess, I love you hair and your dress, and your smile. You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen," he said it with such intense eyes she blushed.

"So James what brings you to –"

"How far do you want to go with this, baby girl?"

She sighed "No, not yet," she said realizing their game was over "don't say anything yet."

"I mean James and Sam just met - but we have an history," he said

"It's your game," she replied

"This is anything but a game – this is not something you play, baby girl -This is our life."

"I know—I just want you to be James for a bit longer, the night isn't over and the only thing waiting for us is a cold sunrise."

"What if we did that—started over—eventually we would wind up here right?"

"Maybe, not maybe" she replied

"Its like two people who see each other on the street. Their eyes meet and they feel something – their souls sense a flash of recognition, and before they can speak on it- The light changes. They cross the street – it's gone. And it is too late to do anything about it. And you always think about it because it was there and you let it go and from that instant on you think to yourself—what if I said something, what if she said something, what if – what if. It may only happen a few times in your life."

"Maybe only once," she said

"Maybe only once," he repeated watching her.

She reached for her drink and he held her hand. She looked at him and wondered what if this was a giant huge mistake

She took the drink and sipped it. Then she placed her hand back next to his wondering what to do next.

"I've made mistakes," she said, "we've made mistakes – but forgive you, I don't know if you can forgive me," she said thinking about their vows and Stella. "I didn't sleep with anyone but - What if we do nothing," she asked, "What if we really try instead of trying to prove points. I mean," she said trying to find the right word.

"Sam, what floor are you on?

She looked up and realized that he still wanted to play this make believe game.

"Top floor, a friend of mine told me it had the best view of the city."

"I would love to see the view from your room," he said.

"James, are you sure?"

He nodded. She took her drink and headed to her suite.

As they entered her suite, she sat on the couch and Derek looked around the room.

She continued her conversation from downstairs "I thought this summer we could slow things down and find a way back to us - but we speed it up. I was looking for a time out"

"Yes, that is what I thought we needed," he said as he sat across from her on the coffee table.

"But it never came, and now we are here," she said with inevitability.

"Yes," he said caressing her knee, "here we are."

Her phone buzzed and it was message from Stella. They both saw his name at the same time. He stopped touching her knee, "Is that your boyfriend calling?" He started tapping his fingers on the coffee table and his jaw tightened, "kinda late isn't it?"

"Not a boyfriend. He isn't relevant to us," she insisted.

Deep sigh, "I don't want to get into semantics baby girl – "

"I love you," she said as she saw the wall between them grow taller.

"So handsome," she said finally accepting the wall. She leaned into him as she put her glass on the table beside his hip. "Why don't you give your wife a proper send off?"

She leaned in and kissed him slowly and passionately, she tasted of whiskey and salty tears.

She stood up, took off her shoes, and proceeded to walk into the bedroom.

He followed her to the bedroom and she sat on the bed, took off her earrings and other jewelry, and placed them on the nightstand. He sat down next to her and caressed her cheek. He leaned in, kissed her lips gently, and as her lips parted, his tongue traveled around her mouth as if they had all of the time in the world. He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her closer as one hand ran up her dress. As he was leaving wet butterfly kiss on her neck she moved to straddle him, in a seated position. She started to unbutton his shirt and he looked at her. They shared a smile that made his heart flip into his throat_. _Her smile revealed a glint of lust. She lowered mouth to his and explored his mouth with her tongue, as she wrapped her right leg around his waist. The sensual kiss evoked a groan from his soul. She continued to unbutton his shirt. She pulled her dress over her head and tossed it behind her. As her bangs fell to her face, he brushed them out of her eyes. He looked into her eyes as he caressed her face. His thumb played with her lips as he watched her. His gaze was too piercing and Penelope had to look away . He put his finger underneath her chin and guides her towards his lips. That connection silences the rest of her doubts. He kisses her eyes and returns to her lips. He removes her bra, pushes her up higher on his lap and kissed her nipples. She kisses the top of his head, as she rubs his broad shoulders. He alternates his feathery kisses from one breast to another and she arches her back as a moan escapes her lips. He flips gently on to her back and continues to kiss her breast as his fingers play in her wetness below. He returns to her neck and quickens the paces of his fingers. She whispers fuck me in his ear and he slows down his pace. Slight torture, he knows. He kisses her slowly as she groans in frustration. He takes off his shirt as he leaves a trail of wet kisses down her neck to her belly button and between her legs. He kisses her inner thigh as her scent fills his mind. He taste her with his tongue and she lets out a loud moan. He grabs her butt and pulls her closer. As he licks and kisses her most inner flower, she gentle massages his head calling out his name. As she bucks against his face, she has her first orgasm. He kisses her feet and works his way back up to her breast. When he reaches her lips, she sits up and straddles him in one swift move.

I want you inside me she whispers and she guides him into her. She is so tight he feels as if he might explode. She kisses him as she rotates her hips in his lap. He moans between kisses and allows her to take him to ecstasy. She pushes him down on to his back and rides him. He runs his hands up and down her back, his touch sends shivers down her spine and she starts to ride him faster. He pulls her close to him and kisses her as he takes hold of her hips and thrust.

"Oh my god Derek," she continued to moans as he turns her on to her back. He thrust hard as he reclaims her lips. He kisses her roughly and moves to her neck where he nibbles and bites her from side of her shoulder to the other. As they climax together.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds**

* * *

The sun beamed into her hotel room, she woke up and reached for him but the bed was empty. She opened her eyes and saw that he wasn't there. She scanned the room and saw no remnants of him. She hoped that he would be there, but knew he would be gone. I'm done chasing him she thought—if this is what he wants she won't fight him anymore. As she resolved to let it go; anger crept into her soul and she finally accepted responsibility for being the straw that broke the fragile camel's back.

She got out of bed and picked up her dress and undies off the floor. She made her way to the bathroom, washed her face, and put on her glasses. He left a trail of love bites along her collarbone, this is new for him, she thought, it was as if he was marking his territory. She was pissed because she couldn't wear a tank top, in this Chicago heat. After she was dressed and she packed, she called Derek.

"Hi," Derek answered.

"Hey, I'm heading to your mom's house to see the kids. Will you be around?"

"Yup, I'm playing with the guys at around 3 or 4."

"Ok, Fine, see you then."

* * *

She arrived at Fran's house and rings the bell. She wore a pastel green V-neck t-shirt reversed to hide her hickies, a floral scarf wrapped around her head as an headband, rolled up capri jeans, bright shamrock green belt, flip flops, and a multi-colored necklace, Chris made her.

"Coffee?" Fran asked as she guided her to the kitchen.

"Sure," she said as she sat on the stool in the kitchen.

"Did you and Derek have fun last yesterday?"

"Yes, thank you so much for those tickets. After the hotel, we went to Wrigley Field, the park, and Negril. Negril was so neat—it is a West Indian restaurant with a club downstairs. You and Rossi should check it out, you know, next time he has a book signing," Penelope teased.

"No deflecting missy."

"Deflecting?"

"How are things going with you and Derek?

She stopped mid sip of coffee, she wasn't sure if Derek told her or not but she knew it wasn't her place to tell his mom. Once again, she has to be the designated driver.

"We've been better — but, we're working through it," she said with a smile.

"What do you guys have planned while your little munchkins are with me?"

"Fran," she said taking a deep sigh – "We haven't thought that far ahead yet."

"So where are the kids?" Penelope asked getting out of the range of fire, "I was hoping to take them for lunch before I head out. Well, for an ice cream cone—I'm not sure if that's lunch."

"They are out back with Derek."

She played teatime with Izzy and Chris until it was time for her to leave. Derek was BBQ-ing so an ice cream lunch wouldn't work.

"Ok, so mommy is going home." She said to her kids.

"What are you going to do without us?" Chris asked, as if he couldn't imagine her world existing without him.

"I am going to paint my nails everyday and eat ice cream and cupcakes."

"Everyday!" Izzy asked

"What!" Chris said super upset.

It took everything in her not to laugh outright at her kids' reactions. "I am going to play with all of your toys and ride your bike," she continued as their expressions became more animated.

Chris realized mommy was playing a joke on him and laughed, "you're too big to ride my bike."

She picked him up and gave him a hug, "I am going to miss you. Call me when ever you want."

"I will" he gave her a kiss and she put him down.

"Lady Izzy, mommy has a plan to catch."

She kissed and hugged her.

She grabbed her purse and Derek said, "I'll walk you out."

As they stood in front of her car, she began to speak, "If Chris realizes that he needs any of the gazillion toys he left at home let me know and I will send them in a care package."

"Ok," he said.

"Ok,"—she said looking at him "so this is it," giving him one more chance to find his voice, she thought. "Alrighty," she said swinging her keys around her finger, "call me if anything comes up," she said closing the passenger side door.

"Penelope you are having an affair? I don't know how to repair that?" he blurted out angrily.

"An affair?" She said mystified, "Derek this affair that I am having or not having started last week – what about the other 52 or 100 weeks before the incident? Our marriage was broken before Stella kissed me."

"Oh, so know its just a kiss?"

"What do you want to know, Derek every detail. We had our end of year party; I drank with my students and talked shop. Stella and I cleaned up after the party. He kissed me, I kissed him back. We made out in my office. He told me he wants to be with me and I told him I was married and I need to focus on you and my family—that's the abbreviated version. Happy? Does knowing this make you want to move back home and be with me. Has your trust in me been restored?"

"The problem is these images of you and him keep spinning around my head like a wheel. I think, I can get over it and then I see you – no, hear you moaning his name, touching him, in my head. Then all thoughts of forgiveness go as fast as they came. Why him? Do I bore you?"

"You're anything but boring, Derek," she said whispered as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"And him"?

She looked perplex

"Is he boring?" he asked gruffly.

"Derek, it's not about—"

He cut her off, "I mean does a woman get to a stage in her life when she is like my husband is too exciting and I want a boring son of a bitch to replace him."

"Stella is a symptom Derek not the cause—we are the cause"

"I just need to know why? Why him? Why now? If I could just understand the cause I could move on – but Penelope it doesn't make any sense."

"Derek not everything has a motive or is a derivative of something."

"I don't believe that -there are laws and there are intentions. I mean how did we wind up here, I mean we used to be so close we didn't need to speak and now I can touch you but we're 20,000 miles away from each other. And I don't know how I got here but I feel like –"

"Are you serious? How do you think we got here?" she asked spitefully.

His response was deafening silence and she continued, "Ok, you're the reason. You left"

"But I'm here, I've always been here, Penelope. I never l-"

Her heart was racing as these words came out of her mouth, "Only part of you, never all, because you care more about the dead than the living. That's where you heart is," she said loudly, but not screaming.

"That's not true."

Tears sprang to her eyes and she said, "All those months you spent working on the Doyle case because you felt like you killed Emily—60 seconds, if only I got there 60 seconds earlier—how many times did I hear that? Then the months after, when you had to learn to forgive her, JJ, and Hotch for lying about her death," she shook her head. "As soon as you crossed that hurdle you went to a dark place because of Buford and only Tamara could help. The Crimes Unit promotion came along and the nightmares became worse. I know you love your job but it consumed you, in a way that left me alone Derek. And you were never coming back – not my you. Not my Derek."

"And him?" He said raising his voice.

"We aren't together but at least" she shook her head realizing that no answer was ever going to be enough and they would wind up chasing each other's tails, "I should go."

She turns to walk away and he grabs her arm " at least he what?" he asked furiously.

"At least he is present and when he is with me – he's with me. I don't have to beg and plead because he actually wants to be there—can you remember what that's like?" She asked sarcastically.

"I don't want you to see him."

"Fine," she said, "I'm going to miss my plane," she tried to take her arm back but he tightened his hold on her, then he released her. "Anything else, Morgan?"

"Penelope, I want to come home and I want whatever is between you and Stella to be finished."

"Fine, see you at home," she said as she got into her car.

* * *

"You know—I couldn't help but over hear," Fran said as he walked into the house.

"Not now Mom," he said as he walked away.

"Derek Michael Morgan," she called with the utmost authority.

"I'm sorry I just," he started.

"Just sit with me," she said nicely.

"You were too young to remember, but your father and I separated when Sarah was 6; I think you were 1 or 2. We were drifting apart, between him being a cop and me being a nurse, we never saw each other. Thank god for your dad's family, because they helped us, through the hard times. We separated and your dad stayed with his partner, Jason. We tried to work it out but it seemed like the everything was against us—like Venus was in retrograde or something."

"There was this doctor, Paul Krugmen, who liked me and one day on the night shift he joined me at the diner where I always went for dinner. We chatted and it was nice to talk to someone who had no expectations of me. I remember we ate breakfast for dinner and it was so much fun to feel like a person - a real person, not just a wife and mother. He asked me out after that, and I said yes. Because I liked him and he reminded me of who I was before I acquired all of these other titles."

She took his hand, "Don't get me wrong, I loved your father and still love your father. I loved being a mother and a wife but sometimes you lose yourself in pleasing and supporting everyone else. Those pancakes and that conversation were like support to my soul. Support your father used to give me before our lives became so busy. It was also my fault, I created the Daddy Show, the Sarah, Show, and The Derek Show but I never created the Fran Show—and that's what Paul did for me. Anyway, I went on the date and he kissed me good night. I walked in and to my surprise; your father was sitting there fuming like you are now," she said stroking his hand.

"He was pissed at me for going on a date and maybe mad at himself for leaving us. But, what he couldn't see until later was how this incident strengthened our love and commitment to each other. We never forgot to do special things for each other and that kept our love fresh every day, honey."

"You and Penelope have the luxury of being able to create time and space to be just Derek and Penelope but you keep on choosing to be SSA Morgan," she rubbed his back, "Your father is proud of you, baby boy, and you don't have anything to prove – just be happy. You can't save every person from the villain and if you could you wouldn't be happy. Haven't you noticed, most super heroes don't have a family? I think that's what Penelope would say," she said rubbing his shoulder."

He wiped the tears from his face and asked "what did dad do in the end?"

She replied, "It took him two days to get over his ego and realize that we both had work to do and he came home. He promised to never leave again and we worked it out. I never will forget – he said leaving isn't an option, he was still pissed with me but we worked our way towards forgiveness because we saw the bigger picture. The doctor, however, was really smitten with you mama—and your dad punched him one day when he showed up to our door. He didn't come around after that and you know the rest."

"I want to go back home, but I just fear that she may actually love him and I know it is irrational but if that was true I would just …" he trailed off as the tears trickled down his face, "So moving back in is the right thing to do?" he said more confidently.

"Yes, move back in and show her that you love her. Be thoughtful and for Christ sake don't forget her birthday, anniversary, and Valentines Day," she said as she rubbed his head.

"Is it that easy?"

"Yes, matters of the heart are always easy—it is your brain that makes it hard. What is your gut telling you? Do you want to let go of Penelope?"

He shook his head.

"There is your answer," she said rubbing his shoulder.

* * *

_**What kind of angsty reunion was that? Angst is over - I kinda promise. Well at least our doves are back together under the same roof.**_


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

She arrives home and get's settled in. She hops on the Internet and it's down. She calls Verizon to report the problem and after 45 minutes of trouble shooting, she makes an appointment for them to fix the wires tomorrow. Penelope with out the Internet is like a plant without water.

She takes a hot bubble bath and relaxes – she thinks about their last conversation as she sips on her carrot, beet, and ginger juice. Him moving back in wasn't the answer but she has given up and if he thinks this is the answer so be it – at least the kids will be happy—and you never know, it may just work—she thought optimistically.

Her cell phone rings and its Fran.

"Hey Fran!"

"Sorry to disappoint you – it's just little ol' me," he had the knack of calling her when she was thinking of him, she used to think they were telepathically connected, maybe they are.

"Oh, hey Derek"

"How was your flight?"

"It was delayed a bit, but smooth sailing after that. How are you and the kids?

"Good, they wanted to say good night to you and I'm about to tuck them in."

"Ok, I'm in the tub, give me a second to get out ok?"

"Sure," he could hear her getting out and he could imagine how beautiful her body looked all wet in their bathroom.

She wrapped herself in her robe and picked up the phone as she sat on the bench in their bedroom.

"Ok. I'm back."

"I should be back in town by Tuesday and I will move my stuff back in that afternoon."

"Sounds good, Morgan. I have to warn you that I haven't been to the market since last week. I've been sustaining myself on wine & cheese—and wine & cheese alone."

He laughed, "Are you pretending to be a Parisian again?"

"Maybe, but I think I would have to add bread and butter."

_Mommy, Mommy_ she could hear Chris calling.

"I'm ready for Chris," he prattled on about his day and proudly told her about eating 4 hotdogs. Izzy just said how much she missed her and can't wait to go home and play tea party with her again.

Izzy gave her a kiss and passed the phone back to Derek.

"I just realized we should've skyped."

"No, we can't the internet is down and a repair guy is coming tomorrow morning, I think. I tried to fix it myself but I think it's the wiring. My first night without the kids and I could be playing MMORPG but no the internet is down. The tech gods are frowning upon me."

He chuckled, "what is a tech goddess with out a service provider."

"Exactly, well I have to condition my hair. I'll talk to you and the kids tomorrow?"

"Yup,"

"Ok, night Derek."

"Night sweetheart."

* * *

The repair guy took forever getting the internet up and running. She lost like half the day—and he was still working. She tried going old school, using a pen and paper to write her syllabi outlines and seminar – but she found herself listening to her iPod and cleaning the house instead.

She realized that she needed to call Stella, so she called him and prayed for voicemail. She knew he would be able hear the uneasiness in her voice. Yes, she thought, she got his voicemail. Damn! I should have planned the message I intended to leave.

"Hey Plato, it Penelope. I was hoping that we could get together today and talk but it seems like the cable guy will be here all day. Let me know if you if you have time tomorrow. Thanks."

She worked old school style, and finalized the syllabus for their classes next semester. They could go over it as she let him down easy. She realized that she definitely had a type; she liked tall, intelligent, driven men – who were super hot. Not a bad type, she thought

As the repair guy worked away, she pretended to work on her computer-profiling seminar. He finally finished and she ran up stairs to change into comfortable clothes. She threw on a short jean skirt and a tank top; it was like 4 o'clock and she need to grab groceries. She could still see the hickies on her neck and threw on a crew neck sleeveless shirt instead. She hadn't had a hicky since high school and wondered - how long would it be visible.

Before she headed out, she called her kids to say hi. She talked to Derek brief—they kept it light. Her doorbell rang, and she got off the phone. What did the Verizon guy forget, she thought.

She opened the door and to her surprise, it was Stella.

"Hey,"

"Hey,"

"I got your message and I thought maybe we could talk and eat. I figured I could make you some dinner," he said gesturing at his bags.

"Uhm, come in" she said as she opened the door.

He came in, gave her a kiss on her cheek, and headed to her kitchen. "I'm going to make you one of my favorite dishes. I won't do it as much justice as my father, but it will be good."

He was in her house about to make her dinner; only in my world does this happen.

"Ok, what is it?"

"Wild Trout Lemon Almondine with root vegetables and salad"

"Really? That sounds impressive. How can I help?

"Open up the wine and keep me company," he said as he gestured towards the two wine bottles.

They talked about everything but what transpired between them. She was starved and he gave her a carrot. She made bad bugs bunny jokes until the conversation hit an official lull. He placed the vegetables in the oven and then poured himself a glass of wine. After he sat next to her—she started to speak.

"I – Thank you so much for this, Stella. But I –"

He put his pointer finger over her lips and the cupped her face as he kissed her gently. His lips felt so soft on hers and as he entered her mouth she realized that she felt something for him more than- and she broke away.

"I know you can't do this. You and Derek are going to try and make it work. You will probably start driving to work, and I will only see you on campus as a passerby. We may even still teach our class but it will be weird because" he reached for her neck and said, "I will remember how your neck taste," his thumb grazed her lips "how you lips feel," he touched her hair and said, "how your hair always smell like citrus and honeysuckle. My heart will still want to be with yours and I will always regret that moment in your office because, if I could have kept on pretending we would be closer than we are now. We could've still been friends."

"I know all of those moments are coming – but this moment, all I can remember is that happiness I felt when you kissed me, when you touched my face and heart – and I just want to live in that moment – a shared feeling – till dinner is finished. Then those other moments will flood our doorstep– my feelings will become unrequited - and life will continue."

His eloquent words touched her heart in away she couldn't have foreseen. She stood up and said "Stella, you are one of the – you are." She fumbled as looked into his eyes. She ran her hand along his cheek and said, "You are an amazing person and I-" She leaned in and kissed him a soft gentle yet passionate kiss. She ends the kiss by giving him a peck on his nose. "You will meet an amazing girl who will make you think Penelope who?"

He laughed, "Sit, time for the fish."

They continued to talk and laugh and it seemed so effortless. Dinner was amazing the flavors danced in her mouth and she realized in that she did not want dinner to be over. He made her feel so protected, wanted, and appreciated. She realized that she could not blame the incident in her office on alcohol. She knew she could not see him again too. The moments he talked about started becoming a reality.

She pushed her last few carrots around the plate and as she heard Derek in her head. _Finish things with Stella_, was his last request. Only she wanted to explore her feelings because they seemed so real and necessary.

"Penelope come in?"

"Breaker Breaker Penelope come in."

"Where did you go?" he asked.

"Got lost in my thoughts for a second."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing, are you all done?" she said trying to be present in the moment.

"Yes, are you?"

"Not yet," she said holding on to her plate, as if that was going to buy her more time to think things over. But this could never be more than this—she loved Derek more than anything in the world.

"I'm done she said. Thanks for the amazing meal."

"Dessert time," he said close your eyes.

A few seconds later he told her to open them. In front of her was a gift and a cupcake with a lit candle.

"Now you're just showing off," she said with a smile.

"Since, I'm wont be around for your birthday—with the semester starting late. I figured lets celebrate it together now." Stella always gave her flowers, a hot dog, and a gift for her birthday. She finally understood that this whole evening was a goodbye. As a tear streamed down her face, she wiped it away.

"Why are you crying?" he asked as he touched her cheek.

"Sweetest thing ever Plato!"

"Make a wish."

She did – she wished for his happiness and she wished for them to be friends.

She blew out the candle and they ate the cupcake.

She walked him to the door and thanked him for a wonderful night.

"Any time," he said.

"Oh, one work related thing—we should use the same syllabus and everything as last year right?"

"Yes, I actually revised it when I type it up I'll send it to you,"

"Great less work for next semester. I will send you my notes before I leave."

"When do you head to Sweden?"

"This Monday."

"So, this is it huh?"

He nodded

He gently pressed his lips against hers and said good night.

He walked out the door.

* * *

**Next Day**

She knew Derek was coming home today so Penelope straightened up the place and put the present Stella gave her in her office. He gave her the complete collection of E.E. Cumming poems and the True Blood Season 2—the first season with Eric, his doppelganger. When she was all done, she went to the garden and worked. She was pulling up the weeds, listening to her Radiohead and Michael Jackson playlist. She knew she should be working on the seminar but the procrastination bug bit her.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she jumped 8 feet out of her skin.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you," Derek said

"Ohmigod.—I just died a thousand deaths," she said breathlessly.

"Sorry," he said, "are you hungry? Turkey Sandwich?"

She nodded

"They will be ready in 15 minutes"

"Cool," she turned back around and continued to work for 2 or 3 more songs.

She entered the house about 15 minutes later. She had dirt in her hair and on her face. "Hey you don't have to wait for me—I got into a fight with the cucumber plant and it won—I have to clean up."

She showered and threw on a short sleeve shirtdress and sandals. Her hair was wet and wavy

When she came down stair, she saw he waited for her, "You didn't have to wait D?"

"No biggie."

They talked about the kids, Fran, and the garden.

His phone went off and he checked it as she put away the dishes.

"You've got a case," she asked

"No but it's Hotch. Do you want to see the Dapp Kings at Regan Square?"

"I should work on my seminar, Strauss wants to do it sooner than originally planned."

"You're in procrastinating mode— "He said as he tapped her nose "the only thing you will accomplish today is trimming your bangs, painting your nails, and creating a crazy to do list for Alice—for when she comes back."

"You know me too well – Ok, what time?"

"6pm."

"So we have 3 hours, I will change again and go procrastinate in my office."

"Thanks for lunch!" she added as she headed up to her office.

* * *

As they exited the car, Derek grabbed the wine and Penelope the fruit. They made their way to Hotch and Beth. They greeted each other with kisses and hugs.

"Glad you guys are back. I miss my running partner," Beth said.

"We should run tomorrow morning—I've been seriously slacking." As she took in the food before her, Penelope said, "Now this is a spread." The blanket was covered with cured meat, cheese, crackers, dips, and veggies, "We brought wine and fruit."

The couples sat down together, Beth and Penelope sat across from each other on the blanket and their dates sat behind them.

The opening band was a cover band that played amazing versions of Adele, Bruno Mars, and Motown classics. Derek sat closer to her, He kissed her left shoulder and his other hand was by her right hip. He could sense that she was tense and far away. She seemed like she was going to jump right out of her skin.

"Hey sweetheart,"

She turned around and faced him, "Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just have a few things on my mind—nothing big," she said as she kissed his cheek.

When the band's set was over, she announced that she was going to stretch her legs.

"I'll come with you," Derek offered

"I'm fine and I'll be back in a jiffy" she said a bit too cheery.

She walked to the gate that over looked the lake and got lost in her thoughts. She officially was a slacker. The list of the work that she is neglecting overwhelmed her brain- her seminar, her four syllabi, which were due at the end of the week. Sam Cooper called for a consult. She was living her life like one of those soap opera women consumed by the men in her life and not actually working. She had to catch up, she thought. As she took tally of her worries, deadlines, and projects, she didn't hear him approach her.

"Are you ok, Penelope?"

"I'm fine, I just—I'm good – should we head back?" She said as she started to walk back towards Hotch and Beth.

"We don't have to" he said placing a hand on her waist. "You seem distracted, uneasy or uncomfortable and -"

"Derek" she said looking down, "don't profile me."

He lifted her head so he could read her better and there was a look he didn't recognize; "I know it may be weird to have me back home but I think it's the best way to get us back to where we need to be."

She licked her lips, as she ran her fingers through her hair, "It not about us, honey."

"Is it him?" He asked intently

Him? She wondered was that Stella's new name. We weren't allowed to say it but any pronoun became Stella depending on the context. She sighed; this was her new life it seemed. She knew this insecure phase would pass and she had no right to be annoyed but she was. "No, I've just been slacking - I have a lot to do and Sam called me to do a consult on one of his cases, which I wasn't expecting and it just leaves me with less time to cram it all in—Not a big deal." But it was a big deal, she was looking at an all nighter at some point this week and she was too old for that.

Derek looked at her with his eyes filled with concern.

"Honestly, I'm fine—I just needed to stretch my legs and clear my head. We can head back."

"Are you sure?" he said rubbing her right cheek.

"Yes," she replied and he kissed her sweetly on her lips.

As she headed back she thought of Stella, she wondered how he knew E.E. Cummings was her favorite poet. She never talked about it; she must've brought it up on one of their train rides. She realized that she was going to miss him. Ever since Jackson, went back to California she's been missing that all-knowing BFF. Maybe she could have that in Beth if she opened herself up to that—she just wasn't good with women. Well, until then she was going to miss Stella and this was a moment he didn't think about. They took their seats on the blanket, as the Dapp Kings were about to hit the stage. Sharon Jones and the Dapp Kings were amazing. Sharon's energy made you want to get up and dance. They dance through a beautiful sunset.

Derek and Penelope returned home at around 1030pm, Derek headed upstairs and she grabbed her kindle and started reading a textbook on the couch.

Derek came downstairs in his boxers and asked, "Are you turning in?"

"In a few D, I just want to finish this chapter," she replied. One chapter became five and she fell asleep on the couch. Derek found her asleep on the couch an hour or two later and scooped her up and carried her to bed. When he picked her up, she curled in his arms and hung on to his neck. As he placed her on the bed, he took off her glasses, shoes, and dress. He used the yes to cucumber towelette to wipe off her make up and tucked her in to bed. He held her as he fell asleep.

She woke up the next day lying on his chest in his embrace. She snuggled closer and then realized that she was in bed with her husband. She sat up in bed and reached for her glasses.

"Where are you going?" He asked taking her glasses and keeping them just out of her reach. She continued to reach and he said, "Nope answer my question first. Where are you going?"

"For a run maybe depending on the time – do you want to come?" he still kept her glasses out of her reach, "Derek, give me my glasses." She put her glasses on and looked over her shoulder at him. She drew her knees to her chest under the sheet and said, "Derek, we can't just act like nothing happened. I mean we have to be grown-ups."

"Why," he whined like Chris

She ignored his whining and told him "I met with Stella and we talked. We are on the same page. We will still have to work together but our friendship is on hiatus until he gets married or something like that."

"I'm going to talk to Tamara this week and do the same thing."

"Oh," she said surprised.

"I can't ask you to do something – I'm not ready to do. There should only be two people in a marriage. If someone makes one of them feel oddly possessive, they should leave right."

"Everyone makes you feel oddly possessive, next thing you will tell me is I can't hang with Reid."

"You can't hang out with Reid," he said kissing her shoulder and tickling her.

She laughed, "and no Hotch, because he knows my favorite wine."

"No Hotch," he said pulling her back down to the bed.

He started kissing her neck and then breast, "Derek I think we should finish talking."

"I'm done talking," he teased. "But there are a few things I want to show you."

"Derek, I'm serious – we know we are good at sex we don't need to work on that aspect of our relationship."

He smiled and said, "I believe in working on all aspects of a relationship equally. I mean I can give you a workout right here." he said thoughtfully.

She laughed and said, "show me this Morgan workout routine."


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

They exited the yoga studio nice and relaxed, Penelope said to Beth, "That is what my life has been missing."

"I know that was better than a massage," Beth said.

"Better than chocolate," Penelope said trying to top Beth.

"Better than sex," Beth countered

"I wouldn't go that far," Penelope said with a smile and they laughed.

Penelope wore a white tank top with a bright bra underneath—it was pink and with floral accents and a maroon wrap skirt She reached in her bag and grabbed a lime green Carrie Bradshaw flower and pinned it above her right breast.

"You carry your trinkets, I mean your, Garcia-ism, with you," Beth said with a smile.

"Can't leave home without them,"

"So how are you and Derek doing?"

"Beth," she said in a tone that said she didn't want to talk about it.

"Ok, let me put some tequila in you and then tell me."

She laughed, "Deal, it's hard to say no to you and Sauza."

"Great, an impromptu ladies night out. I told JJ & Emily that I would drag you out kicking and screaming- they'll come after work."

"How about my house instead?"

"Garcie, why are you trying to break-up the Sex & the City moment," Beth asked.

As she was debating her answer– JJ joined them on the corner.

"Are you heading to Pete's?"

"I'm not sure—I'm really not dressed."

"And from what I can tell you need to do laundry" JJ said gesturing at her bra.

The ladies laughed.

"I know—with the kids gone, I've been slacking – I did an all nighter Wednesday and crashed all day Thursday. Handed in everything this morning, Strauss, my department chair, all of it. I crashed again at like noon and woke up for yoga," Penelope explained.

"Oh, what a hard life you lead," JJ teased

"Come on lets discuss over drinks," Beth said.

"Geez, when did you get so pushy Beth—Let me call Derek and let him know."

"Hey baby girl!"

"Hey, I'm heading out with the ladies for a few drinks—have you guys landed?"

"We're about to. Have you eaten something of substance today?"

"Besides wine and cheese," she teased, "I think so."

"Ok, because I know what happens when you and Beth fly solo."

She laughed, "I promise—we'll be good."

As he hung up with Penelope, he took his seat next to Hotch and across from Reid.

"What trouble are our ladies getting into?" Hotch asked.

"Impromptu ladies night, featuring some sort of tequila," Derek replied

"Geez, the last time they did that I had to whisper all Saturday," Hotch said.

"I had to carry a drunk Garcia to bed with her IPod on singing Barry Manilow's greatest hits."

"How is that going?" Reid asked

"What?" Morgan asked.

"You and Penelope?"

"Were good. She's happy. I'm happy—it only been a week, but were finally good. Its also good to be back with you guys—it's like returned home twice."

"So your not using Ryan's services, good decision." Hotch asked quizzically

"Ryan?"

"No, He is a lawyer, after I found out about Penelope and Stella I flipped out and I called Ryan. But in the end, she's my world and I can't imagine life without her."

"I didn't know—I guess Stella's invite to your Labor Day Fiesta is permanently revoked."

He glared at Reid, "Sorry," Reid said, "I'm just glad things are better."

Back at Pete's, their first round of tequila and margaritas were just delivered. "What should we toast to?" Penelope asked—"Friday?" she offered.

"How about happy endings?" Beth asked.

"Yes, Happy Endings" JJ agreed.

Sure, they slammed their shots and Penelope said to Beth, "ok, fire away."

She told them about the hospital incident, the date night in Chicago – which was amazing, Derek retaining a lawyer, getting rid of the lawyer, clearing the air with Stella, and Derek moving back in.

"He came over and made you dinner?" Beth asked

"Yeah, it was one of the sweetest moments—like a somber goodbye. We know we can't even be friends like we were. I mean there will be this tension there and we acknowledge what the ramifications of that would be. Co-teaching the class, this fall is going to suck to say the least. But it was a sweet moment."

"What present did he give you?" JJ asked

"He gave me the complete works of EE Cummings for my birthday—one of my favorite poets. My dad used to read me his poems when I was a kid. And Season 2 of True Blood"

"Are you sure there isn't anything there?"

"Yeah, I mean it is nice to be seen as a woman who you want to impress and be your best self – I mean he looks at me the Derek used to with all of that newness, but it's like comparing mineral water to champagne. I mean like, what Derek and I have has aged to perfection or is aging to perfection and I love him. We are still seeing a therapist but if I was a relationship weatherman I see clear and sunny skies."

Beth squeezed her hand, "I'm so happy for you guys – I didn't want to loose my couple BFF."

Penelope smiled "I will always be your BFF- Amanda, another round please—pretty please," she called from across the bar.

"What am I chopped liver?" JJ asked

"We are like sex and the city season 6 I think—and we just have to get Reid to realize he has to chase Em," Penelope said.

"Maybe we should put it in an old English lit book with a map, " JJ added and the table erupted with laughter.

Beth's phone went off and it was a message from Hotch, "hey they guys are going to crash our ladies night."

"Oh, I should let Will know," she said as she stepped away from the table.

"How are things going with Hotch?"

"Great, I think. I'm finally ready."

Penelope smiled and said, "That is awesome! Jack does need a brother or sister."

"Have you thought about having another one?" Beth asked.

"I have, I think one more would be amazing," she said wistfully.

"Ok Will is coming," JJ said as she returned to the table

"Let's get two more rounds in before they get here and start talking case and takedowns," Beth ordered

JJ laughed, "yes, - Amanda" she called to the waitress, "One more round."

When the guys arrived, girl talk was over. Penelope sat next to Beth and Derek sat on her other side. He kissed her quickly on the lips and said, "Tequila?" She nodded fervently with a child like smile.

"How was yoga?" he asked

"Relaxing, the best way to start off the weekend. Your mother called she has everything she needs to travel with the kids next weekend."

"What the theme tonight?" Rossi asked

Reid, "it's TGIF Friday peppered with karaoke for those so inclined."

"Want to do a song Reid?" Emily teased.

"I'm not good at karaoke—don't say anything Penelope,"

"My lips are sealed," she said locking her mouth and throwing away the key.

"We should do a song," Beth said to Penelope

"Maybe you could do Mo'money/Mo'problems," Derek said

Penelope almost spit out her margarita, "really? I thought what happened in Chicago stays in Chicago?"

"I'm intrigued what does this have to do with P. Diddy?" Emily asked

"All I have to say is who knew Garcia was such a hip hop diva." Derek said with a smirk.

They talked about work and weekend plans as folks piled into the bar for the spirits.

"What is going on tonight—I've never seen Pete's so packed," Penelope asked

"The new recruits find out if the made it into the bureau, today. Those who made it get insanely drunk—well that is what I did," Emily said.

The table chuckled

The microphone made this loud sweak and then they heard:

"My mama always said if you want something you gotta reach out and grab it and if I could reach out and grab anything – it would be you Miss. Penelope Morgan! So, would you have this dance with me? Thanks Rich for lending vocals and Rob & Tom for back up dancing," said Anthony. He was a student with bright blue eyes and black hair. His skin was fair and he was about 5'10''—he was attractive in a North Dakota kind of way.

Penelope looked up and said "what?"

Rossi replied, "I think the Mickey Mouse club has a crush on you, Mrs. Morgan", he said with a smile.

Derek looked to the stage with a pissed angry look, but when he saw they were like 20 – he had to chuckle to himself. They wouldn't even know how to handle a woman like Penelope—he thought. He barely knew how. His smile broadened as they began to sing.

_**Hey Pretty Baby With The  
High Heels On  
**_Oh Geez, she said, her face was beet red and they started to dance in sync towards her. She knew she had to be a good sport but she hated being the center of attention, like this. Their dance routine was so cute she couldn't hold back and started to smile.

Derek laughs and leans in and says, "you have fans, sweetheart." Without thinking he kissed her shoulder and said "don't keep them waiting – dance with the little mouseketeer."

_**You Give Me Fever  
Like I've Never, Ever Known**_

"Don't kill'em Derek," Hotch said with a laugh.

You're Just A Product Of  
Loveliness  
I Like The Groove Of  
Your Walk,  
Your Talk, Your Dress

I Feel Your Fever  
From Miles Around  
I'll Pick You Up In My Car  
And We'll Paint The Town (Michael Jackson, The Way You Make Me Feel)

She danced with him and by the chorus; she waved her family on to the dance floor to share the spotlight, which they graciously did. As she danced with Anthony, Derek thought about how easy it was to love her. She always said that she had to work at being pretty, with the make-up and the accessories but a night like tonight—she just had nothing on and she looked amazing. He loved her, he thought, as he watched her dance with Anthony. He loved her like; he did the first day they met.

When the song was over – she chatted with Anthony, as Beth, Hotch, Will, JJ, Reid, and Emily made their way back to the table. She introduced him to the table and to Derek.

Anthony began to apologize and Derek cut him off.

"No harm, No foul—you can't help it if you have good taste," he said as he put his hand over Penelope's slightly protectively and gave her a squeeze.

As Anthony made his way back to his friends, the conversation kept on flowing like old times. She sat across from Derek and she couldn't help but stare at him. Sometimes she forgot how beautiful he was on the inside and outside. The past week they've spent together has been such a treat—to get back to who they were before life happened was amazing. She forgot how their house felt like a home with him there. She couldn't wait for the kids to come back so the circle would be complete. She missed them so much, especially in the mornings; she laid on Chris's bed often reading her kindle just so she could be closer to him.

"You're staring," he whispered to her.

She blushed instantly—and covered her face to the on lookers a bit. "I was in a deep contemplative thought," she whispered back with a slight smirk

"About what?" he whispered giving her that 1000 watt smile with his eyebrow slightly raised.

"Do you fancy a dance?" she asked.

Smooth came on by Santana and Rob Thomas, he smiled and got up from his seat and she followed him to the dance floor. They swayed to the music.

The next song that played Ho Hey and the dancers started to do some form of line dancing. They stayed on the dance floor, Derek got the moves right away and she stumbled into is arms a few times before she finally got it. As the women and men separated into their own line. Her hips swayed and he was in a trance. As the women stepped closer to the men, the men grabbed their hands and spun them around and they danced apart in the other direction. She added her on sexy moves to the two-step. This is the way they used to be, Derek thought.

As the song approached the end, he grabbed her by the hips and said, "I belong with you, you belong with me my sweetheart." He kissed and dipped her in one sweeping motion.

"I know right," she said with a smile.

He kissed her hand and led her back to the table – Bathroom she said as she continued to the back of the bar.

"I thought you were a bump and grinder," Emily teased, "I had no idea that you added the Texas two step to your repertoire."

"Emily, come on girl, I thought you knew I had moves."

JJ, "I know and some of them are just reserved for Garcia."

"Exactly," he said with a smile.

"Out of all the bars in Quantico, this guy comes here," Rossi, said so annoyed

The table turns and sees Stella enter with a date.

Derek's smile fades, he looks at his hands.

Penelope return with out noticing Stella. The tension is as thick as a slice of cheesecake.

"What," she said to the table, "Do I have toilet tissue on my shoe?" She said with a laugh as she looks down.

"Who needs another drink?" Derek said as he stood.

"Margarita me, Handsome."

"What bug got into Derek's Bonnet?"

"Stella" Emily answered as the rest of the table looks over her shoulder.

"Oh," she said as she bit her lip. "I'll be right back."

She walked over to him and said "Hey Plato!"

"Hey Penelope—"

She didn't know what to do with he hands so she kept them behind her back, "How are things?"

"Good."

"Are your kids back?"

"No, next weekend"

"When are you heading to your parents?"

"On Monday."

"Did you get my email? Our syllabus has been approved—our class is all squared away."

"Oh, Penelope this is Janet."

"Nice to meet you – do you teach yoga at Ohm!?"

"Yes," she said

"I think – I've taken a few class from you—advanced Sunday class."

"That's right."

"Maybe we can grab lunch or something before I head out", Stella interjected

"I'm consulting on a case and I may travel," she fibbed.

"Well I'm going to head back but it was good to see you—Have a safe trip," she said as she gave him a hug.

"Nice to meet you Janet," she said giving her a quick peck,"—he's a great guy you know."

Janet looked up at him as if he was the most beautiful thing she ever saw and said, "I know" with a smile from ear to ear.

She turned to walk away with in two steps he touched her arm and walked towards her.

"It's weird having an audience," he said gesturing with his eyes towards the table.

She looked over and everyone looked down—"my family," she said with a smile.

"I'm surprised how hard this is. We used to talk like every day and now nothing," he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. "We can't even be friends?" he asked as he jammed his hands into his pockets.

"We can but I just need some time and space to focus on myself and my family."

"I know but I just miss you," he whispered with pleading eyes, "I miss us."

"We're friends," she tried to say clearly, "I should head back before Derek goes all Jason Bourne on you tries to kill you with a straw wrapper and then you go all Eric on him and try to glamour him." They laughed at the image of that and she tilted her head and said, "Have a safe trip Stella."

She headed back to the table and things were awkward to say the least. Derek was sitting there pretending not to be fuming under his collar. He knew he had to let go of this irrational jealousy. She chose him she would always choose him he reminded himself.

She bit his neck and he jumped.

"What was that for?"

"I am trying to release some of that tension in you lower back—are you familiar with the Morgan Technique."

He laughed and just like that, it was the two of them, again.

"I forgot to tell you I signed us up for a song," Beth said nonchalantly.

Penelope smiled, "of course you did," she laughed.

"I mean Derek was telling us how into you killed it in Chicago – we wanted to see hip hop Penelope up close and personal."

"Well as close to hip hop as I could get," she added.

The Karaoke MC called for the Non BAU girls to come to the stage.

Penelope almost spit out her drink, "Is that the name of our band. Maybe Reid could join us – y'know with that new hair cut and all."

The table erupted in laughter

As Penelope looked at the song Beth chose she laughed, "we are divas I guess."

As the opening of Beyoncé's Diva started, Penelope composed herself and pretended to be Beth's back-up dancer. Beth sang the first verse and Penelope was her stone cold back-up singer and dancer. As the chorus played, they sang it with a two-step the created on the fly. Penelope did the 2nd verse channeling her inner Beyoncé, while Beth became her back-up dancer. She adlibbed one of the lines and changed it to _Bet, Derek has a six pack in the cooler_ as she gestured towards her abs. Beth's inner Beyoncé trumped Penelope's and they sang the 3rd verse together. When the song was over, they returned to the table and were greeted with hi-5's.

Emily asked, "Did you guys work on that routine?"

"Nope," Beth said proudly, "all improv."

"We are mentally in sync"

"Actually guys that song wasn't hip hop it was pop music." Reid said matter of factly

Penelope put her arm around Reid, "Let's not get technical Dr. Spencer Reid, or I may have to drag you to the dance floor kicking and screaming."

She sat down next to Derek, "Hey handsome," she said smiling at him as if they were the only ones in the room—she then yawned the fakest yawn he had ever seen. "Geez, I'm pooped. "

"Wanna get out of here," he asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.

She did another fake yawn and said "yeah"

"Garcia, we are all aware that those yawns are fake. If they were real someone else at the table would have yawned too."

"Thank you Dr. Obvious, Em I think you are just going to have to beat him over the head and take him to your cave."

JJ spit out her drink and Reid asked what she was talking about as Emily turned crimson red.

"Nighty Night Superheroes and Beth I will text you tomorrow 9am."


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

_**Labor Day – three months later**_

"Mommy! Daddy! Can we play now?" Their children asked in unison.

"Ok, but not too messy—the other kids will come in a few," she said. They ran past them to the kiddie table and began to color.

"I think we really out did ourselves this time," Derek said. Their garden was transformed into a tropical paradise, with fake palm trees, dancing paper flamingos, hibiscus flower lanterns and leis crisscrossing from one side of the yard to another.

"We did," she beamed back at him. "I have to go finish making the veggie kabobs, and the non alcoholic punch, did you finish the burgers? Wait I have to finish the potato and macaroni salad." As the list grew longer she started to head back to the kitchen when Derek caught her hand. She walked back to him.

"Slow down, baby girl, every thing is just perfect."

"But we should finish up," she said looking into his eyes—you know Reid and Em will be here first and—" he put his pointer finger over her lips and said "I love you."

"I love you too," she replied. He moved her bangs out of her face and kissed her. It was a slow kiss, like a lazy Sunday morning kiss that winds up being a precursor to sex kiss. He ran his fingers through her hair as she wrapped her arms around him.

Within two steps, she was pressed against the doorway and he continued to kiss her neck with his stubble tickling her. "Derek, we have to" he returned to her lips. As his tongue explored her mouth, she heard Izzy scream stop daddy, she can't breathe.

The broke apart and Derek gave Penelope a quick peck on the lips. He squatted down to his daughter and said "baby girl, mommy is fine. See, she can breathe, Izzy – I was just giving her a kiss the way mothers and fathers kiss."

Penelope joined them, "It's ok sweetie. Mommy is fine."

"You're mine," Izzy said as she flung herself into Penelope's arms.

"You're mine right?" she asked her peering up with huge puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, but I am. I'm also Chris's and your dad's - we all belong and take care of each other, darlin"

She buried her head into her mom's shoulder and Penelope mouthed to Derek we're fine. She took her to the kitchen and finished working on the food while her possessive daughter ate pudding.

"Play, mommy," Izzy said as she tried to get out of the high chair. Penelope wiped off her face, and brought her to the yard with her brother.

She walks over to Derek, "I wonder where she get's that possessive streak from. It's not a Garcia trait."

"Hush," he said laughing "I feel sorry for her boyfriends." He grabbed her by her waist and said "Your mine"

"See it's a Morgan trait."

As their friends and family arrived for the Morgan's Annual Labor Day BBQ, the smell of grilled meat and children's laughter filled the air.

She was kinda surprised to see Reid and Emily together, it seemed like she finally took her advice and brought him home to her bat cave. They were a perfect match she thought—she balanced out his neurotic tendencies and he loved her in a way she never realized she deserved. Penelope smiled as she watched them together. She hoped at their wedding day, they gave her credit.

Penelope brought a new pitcher of sangria to the table and asked Reid and Emily if they wanted to see Dark Knight Rises next weekend before they take it out of the theatres.

"I wasn't that impressed with the last one," Reid said

"But it's Tim Nolan, he's like a cinematic genius," Penelope said defending her favorite director.

"The last one was slow and long and I prefer Faverau's Iron Man to the Dark Knight."

"What?"

Derek walked over and said to Reid, "Please don't get her started just say yes and go"

"We'll go," Will interjected, "as long as we go dancing after, JJ has the dancing bug."

Beth, "we have to get in on this Hotch—it seems like we're planning and epic date night," she said with a smile.

"Now if only I could get a date," Rossi said

"I'll be your plus one, if you need one," Erin said.

The table became silent and everyone looked around like holy shit did she just ask him out in front of the entire team.

"Deal, Erin," he said as Penelope's phone rang.

She saw it was a number she didn't recognize, she sent it to voicemail. Within two minutes, the phone rang again and it was the same number. "I'll be right back," she said as she walked towards the house.

"Hello?"

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good you?"

"Not so good," Stella said in a super raspy voice

"You sound horrible. What's wrong, Plato?"

"My father died 4 days ago and my mother is in the hospital."

"Ohmigod, I am so sorry."

"What hospital are you at?" she asked as she hoped on her IPad.

"We're at Berne University Hospital."

She knew his father had cancer but when he died a light went out in his mother and she started having heart failure. He explained that his sister was there but he was shouldering most of the emotional responsibility.

"Are you eating," she asked, "I mean I know you—you're like me. You have to eat something Plato and you have to get rest," she said as she looked for nearby restaurants in Switzerland.

"Your mom will pull through," she said.

"Thank you so much Penelope that means a lot."

She ordered food for 5 people to be delivered to the hospital, from a nearby restaurant that had great reviews from the local grubhub.

"I actually wanted to tell you that I wouldn't be back for the start of the semester. I have to call the department chair but I wanted to tell you first. I'm not sure when actually."

"Don't worry about the class, I can figure it out. Focus on your family, sweetie."

"Thank you for listening."

"No problem, call me whenever you need to. And please Stella – eat something your mom needs you to be strong and alert."

As she hung up the phone she thought of the day her parents died, looking for her and it made her cry a bit.

"Who was that?" Derek asked. He knew the answer; he'd been standing there since she asked him if he was eating.

"It was Stella, his father died," she said as she wiped way her tears. His mom is in the hospital and he wont make it back for the start of the semester."

"Are you ok?"

She shook her head, "It just made me think of my parents and-" she trailed off as she wiped her tears again.

"I'm fine. I just need a moment," she said as she sat on the steps. Memories of her life with her parents flew before her eyes. Derek sat next to her and held her hand. They sat in silence. "You didn't kill them sweetheart a drunk driver did, you have to remember that—it's not your fault," he said as he rubbed her head that rested on his shoulder.

_If I only came home on time, _she thought_, my kids would know their grandparents_. "I'm fine," she said as she wiped away her last tear, "My party girl hat is back on," she said smiling.

"You want to see the Dark Knight Rises right?" she asked standing up.

"With bells on" he said holding her hand.

They went out and enjoyed their friends and family.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (still).**

Penelope ran to her office to grab her tablet for her 2pm class and she was floored by state of her office. It was taken over by every flower you can imagine. She stopped and grabbed a freesia flower and took it with her. While teaching her class, she raises the flower to her nose a few times and wondered what made Derek send her so many. _My birthday,_ she thought. He had to be the sweetest man ever.

She taught her class but she was only half present, she was thinking about how she could return the favor later this evening. Maybe she would stop by Agent Provocateur on the way home.

She took a picture of the freesia flower and sent it to Derek with this message: _I can't wait to see you tonight, love Mrs. Morgan_

On the way home, she went to the shopping district and visited Agent Provocateur. She walked around and took in all of the different looks. They had nightgowns, slips, corsets, and body suits. They had this think called the playsuit; it was like an outline of a bathing suit with petals. She had to look at it from all angles to figure out how it could be worn, and she still couldn't imagine it on her body. Just then, something caught her eye, baby doll nighties. They were these cute underwear sets with a matching sheer gown. _It looked Uber Sexy_ she thought. Sold! She bought it in purple with pink accents and headed home.

When she got home, Derek was setting up the table "Right on time!" he said. "Everything will be ready in 10."

Mommy, Mommy the kids screamed as if she was Santa Claus. "Hey" she said as she took off her shoes. Izzy and Chris hugged and kissed her and then started telling her about their day. She took down her hair and headed to the kitchen to wash her hands.

"How big was the elephant you drew," she asked

"Huge like 3 times the size of this house—super big."

"Dinner is ready," Derek called from the dinning room.

"Ok, wash you hands," she told her little munchkins. She lifted them, Izzy and then Chris, to the sink so they could wash their hands. She put them down and they all headed to the table. Derek put Izzy in her high chair and Chris sat in his booster seat.

The kids told them about their art class and snack time as she and Derek drank a glass of wine.

Since Derek switched back to the normal team, he was home more. Work was still busy but he was home most days when they weren't on a case. He also brought work home and did it after they tucked the kids in. She did the same, but they had one rule -1 - 2 hours of working, max—they need to work on making Morgan #3.

After she tucked the kids in, she took a shower and put on her new purchases. She found their furry cuffs and smiled to herself – _game on_ she thought. She text Derek to come to bed. Within in minutes he was upstairs and when he saw her, he smiled. She started to unbutton his shirt and kiss his neck.

"What" he began

"I want to show my appreciation"

"For wh—"

"No more talking," she said as she showed him the furry handcuffs. They had kinky fun until Derek begged for his release then they made love.

* * *

Last night was so amazing that she almost forgot what day it was. She got dressed and went downstairs where she was greeted with presents and happy birthday balloons. She smiled and said, "whose birthday is it today?"

"Yours mommy," her kids cheered.

There was a candle in her French toast and they sang happy birthday to her. This had to be the best birthday she had in years. She remembered when she and her brothers used to make her parents birthday pancakes – it was like confetti pancakes with powdered sugar. The memory brought tears to her eyes.

"Why are you crying mommy?"

"I am just so happy, she said as she took a bite of her French toast.

When they were done eating, Derek said, "Birthday celebration isn't over tonight we are hitting the town," he kissed her on her forehead.

* * *

She went to work with Derek today because she working on a case for Sam Cooper. As she left his office, she ran into Strauss.

"Do you have a moment," Straus asked, "Walk with me."

"First thank you for including me in the BBQ and movie night. I can't remember having that much fun."

"Who knew Rossi was such a good dancer?" Penelope said.

"I know," she said as they entered her office. "I just spoke to the Director and he would like us to schedule another class at Virginia Tech in October. We want to appeal to the younger students—so maybe you and Reid and teach the class together."

"That sounds great, Erin. We could choose a non-technology case to so they can see how the two worlds come together."

"That sounds wonderful."

"Great, well I have to get back to Cooper's team—we have a school bombing in Virginia."

"Do you miss your team? This work," Straus asked.

"I miss being around my BAU family for sure but the gore – I never miss the gore," Penelope said.

"Oh I forgot to mention. Moore, Dean of the University loved the Profiling class that he sat in on and he would like to expand the college's tech offerings. He may contact you about the computer science department."

* * *

As she left Erin's' office, she made her way towards Sam's conference room.

"Hey Garcia, I didn't know you were here today," Emily said, "A package came for you—it's at reception on 4."

"Cool, I'll grab it in a few."

"If you don't get case let's grab lunch you, me, and JJ. I'll send a text."

She hustled over to Sam's conference room where she was debriefed on the case via videoconference. She walked over to her old office, she knocked on the door where Kevin sat at her old desk.

"Hiya Kevin!"

"Hey P-money"

"I just wanted to grab the my computer."

"Go for it."

"How are things?"

"Can't complain—it is slow – unsubs are on vacation," he said as he pushed his glasses up on his nose.

"I wish," she said smiling

"Good seeing you Kevin."

She worked away in Sam's Conference room, they never came to headquarters they preferred to work out of a boxing gym but she needed access to database that only being at the mother ship could provide. Sometimes she met them at their offices but that was rare.

She worked away on the school bombing and came up with a long list of suspects. She helped Sam weed through them all.

Later that morning, Derek stopped by with a coffee and flowers—"Hey birthday girl!"

"Hey"

"We have a case."

"Where?"

Here, someone is raping and killing women in DC. We have two bodies so far and possibly one survivor. The bad news is - we can't celebrate tonight."

"Derek, it's fine – this morning was beautiful—we don't have to do anything else. I mean the flowers are amazing."

He looked at his bouquet skeptically and said, "Well your present will be here soon don't wait for me to open it."

He said as he brushed her bangs out of her face.

"I love you Mrs. Morgan."

"I love you more," she kissed him passionately when Sam's voice came over the phone. "I gotta go," she whispered. "What do you need Coop?"

"Be safe," she said as she gave him a quick peck.

"Always," he said as he tapped her nose.

* * *

Later that day, a package came for her. She opened the FedEx box, which was the size of a hatbox and saw a red box with a silver bow. The red box was similar in size to the FedEx box and she shook it wondering what is it was. Nothing moved so she opened it up where she saw a small purple box suspended in the middle of the box. The purple box was held up by clear plastic thread. When she touched the purple box, it opened and revealed a pair of sapphire hoop earrings, her birthstone. She laughed at the box and touched it again and the purple box closed. Another touch and it opened. How did this work she wondered and she tried to figure it out. When she gave up, she took off her earrings and put the new earrings on. They were beautiful. She took several selfies with her holding a sign that said Thank You. She sent Derek the best three pics.

* * *

She worked on the case for three days, as her TA covered her classes. Aaron's team was working half in the BAU offices and half at the local police department. Their case was hard, there was a team if unsubs who were drugging, rapping and killing women. The sick part is the women were stabbing themselves to death. They had no leads beside one woman who is in ICU and they couldn't question her. They had seven bodies and the cool down period was diminishing. When the team returned to the office Emily brought her a package that was left at reception. "You forgot to pick this up."

"I thought I got it already," she said.

She opened it up with a note that read, _our time has finally come._ Inside the box was a TAG Heur diamond encrusted watch. Penelope's gasp made Emily peer over her shoulder. They couldn't believe their eyes.

She looked over at Em and said, "Did you guys get a raise or something?"

When Emily looked at the watch, she couldn't believe it. It was a futuristic watch with a diamond-encrusted face. The time was projected into the diamonds—it was breathtaking and flawless.

"Not to my knowledge," Emily replied taking in the six-figure watch.

As they made their way to interrogate Derek about this gift, across town, in DC proper, a man in a meeting received a call. He exits the meeting and answers the call in the hallway. He clicks the green button and waits for instructions.

"The time is now," the voice on the other end of the line says.

The line goes dead and the man returns to his meeting.

* * *

_**Thank you for the reviews and follows... please keep them coming they motivate me :)**_


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

"Come in" Derek said without lifting his head from his files. We need to catch this son of a bitch he thought.

"These are the files you requested plus a package marked urgent," said Agent Stevens.

"Thank you just put it on the table."

He returned to the case at hand, why make them stab themselves? Maybe one of the unsubs was impotent he thought. Maybe he gets off on watching. The bruising implies team effort. Why would one need to hold her down is she is already in restraints? He shook his head and went to the box that was just delivered.

He opened the package marked urgent first. He tore open the manila package and found a small accordion type folder with a note attached. The note said, _Sharing is hard, she should know her place—every woman should._

He opened it up the folder and there were pictures of her mouth, talking, licking her lips, putting on lipstick, her hands, and her stocking clasps. The next picture was Penelope in the shower, walking to work, making breakfast, kissing Stella in their kitchen, drinking wine, playing soccer with the kids, their labor day BBQ, her on Reid's lap, standing extra close to Hotch smiling, toasting with Will, talking to a student, Stella between her legs in her office, talking with Cooper and her hand resting on his knee, dancing in the night club in Chicago, Penelope getting dressed, them having sex, more pictures of her mouth. Pictures of her neck with hickies, close up of her neck and ear. The last few pictures were extreme close-up of her body as if he was kissing those areas.

Derek started to feel dizzy and his brain couldn't process the images fast enough. There were 60 or more surveillance pictures of his wife. He put the pictures back in the folder when a DVD fell out.

He was afraid to put the DVD in the computer. There was a knock on his door. Emily and Penelope walk in.

* * *

_**Who do you think the unsub is? Hint- it could be an unsub from an old case.**_


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my typos:)**

**Thanks for the reviews and follows. So far no one has guessed the unsub- there are a few clues in this chapter. Do you know who the unsub is now?**

* * *

She came into Derek's office with Emily and before she could show him the watch, Derek said, "gather the team into the conference room—we have an emergency."

He grabbed the photos and put them in the folder, "come with me." He took her arm and they power walked to the conference room.

"Derek what is wrong with you?" she said trying to keep up with him

"Someone's been watching you, us—trailing you. They've been in our home."

"What are you talking about?" she asked as if he was crazy.

He showed her the folder. She put the watch down and opened the folder; it was picture on top of picture of her. Her getting dressed, close ups of her breast and neck, her hands trembled as she continued to look through them.

"Who would do this? She said as she looked at the pictures of her.

"That's what we are going to find out."

The team comes in; Derek pulls out the board and start talking. She is flipping through the pictures as they discuss suspects and motives. This picture of her pregnant with Izzy, how did they get that? Pictures of her on Penn Campus? Alone talking to Frank, her student, her with Reid, Stella, and Derek. All of these pictures are sexually suggestive or questionable The University picture looks grainy as if they were from a surveillance camera and they zoomed in.

"About 10 minutes ago, I just received a folder of what seems to be a mix of surveillance and intimate photos of Penelope. I know we are on a case but – but I think Penelope has a stalker."

"Is this about the watch, Emily asked.

"Watch?" Derek asked

Penelope didn't look up from the pictures and she said "I received a watch today with a note that said our time had finally come or our time is here, or something to that effect," as she continued to study the pictures.

She looked up at Derek and said, "I thought it was from you but it was way too expensive. It's a highend 6 figure Tag Heur watch."

"A swiss watch," Reid, said to no one in particular.

"Is this the first gift?"

She was still looking through the pictures half present in the conference room.

She was so focused looking at the pictures of her in the shower, that she didn't hear the conversation around her. Personal moments, she thought. She felt so exposed, wearing her nighty. Close ups of her mouth, neck, and eyes. There are a lot of pictures of her mouth, putting on lipstick bra with her bra on. Tears sprung to her eyes and she Emily tapped her. As a tear hit a picture Hotch took them away from her he said, "Kevin we have to run these for prints."

"Could they make a copy for us first." she asked to no one in particular.

"Yes" he said sadly

"What did the card say?"

"Penelope?"

"Our time has come or our time is now."

She got up and walked to the window, I wonder if he is watching me right now, she thought. "There are cameras in our house," she whispered.

"Baby, it ok," Derek said as he crossed the room.

"There are cameras in our house," she said in her normal voice, "I mean those pictures are not from outside. They are crisp, clear, with high resolution."

"How did he get in our house?"

"How could the unsub have been in my house, in DC, Chicago, and Pennsylvania at the same time. OMG do you think it's a group? Where are the kids? Can we even go home tonight? Am I freaking out – I think I am. What do you think? I just can't think right now—my mind won't work." She said frantically.

He wiped her tears and said, "Hey don't worry. We will find this guy."

She wondered if she would soon get a picture of that too. Her emotions were in flux and she wanted to just run somewhere and hide.

"We are just going to take a deep breath and figure this out baby."

"What did I do to"

"Look at me," he said, "you didn't do anything"

Emily and Rossi share a look of indifference to that statement.

"I must've"

"You did nothing," he said looking at her "and when I find this son of a bitch he will wish he wasn't breathing."

He kissed her forehead and brought her back to the table

"What other gifts did you get and the dates," Emily asked as she waited to write the information on to the board.

"The watch is all I know of," she said hopelessly

"When the watch arrived you mentioned flowers"

"Yeah, Derek sent me flowers"

"I didn't send you flowers- - when did this happen?" he asked worried.

"I sent you a picture of -Ok, well at 2pm I came into my office and it was filled with flowers—I assumed it was from you since my birthday was the next day and I think I still have the pictures," she said looking through her phone.

"Yeah, this is the one I sent to Derek and this is of the office," she sent it to Kevin who put it on full screen

"A spread like that is pricey – especially in a major metropolitan city. This unsub must feel unworthy of you or the need to impress you with things. How much is that watch?" Rossi asked

"I'll look it up," Kevin said.

"Did any other presents come that you assumed were from someone else?" JJ asked

"I don't know."

"Ok, who sent you birthday presents?" Hotch asked

"Franklin sent me wine and cheese –delivered to our house but," she said realizing the error of her ways, "I never confirmed and then I got another bottle of wine at the office."

"Same day?" Emily asked

"No wine and cheese was the day before too."

"Any other gifts?"

"No"

"What about Stella?" JJ asked even though she knew the answer.

"Oh, well that was before – he gave me a book, E.E. Cummings complete works and true blood season 2 - on June 7th."

"Ok so September 23 and September 24 are important days to the unsub. Maybe you met him that day or the triggering incident happened," Emily said.

"We should add June 7th too since that may prove to be relevant later," Derek added.

Hotch interjected "first step of victimology is to create a time line and a comfort zone."

Victimology Penelope said to herself, but the room heard her. "I have to get some air and talk to Sam's team."

"Penelope you can't go anywhere by yourself – you need," Derek insisted.

"I need 10 minutes – please" she said and then she added, "Alone."

As she left to get air the team continued to analyze data and come up with a plan.

"Our time has finally come—the unsub feels like they're and inevitable. Fated almost and that she wants it as well. It must be someone in her life right. They know her taste and what gift to send," Reid said.

"These pictures are intimate and sexual, it as if the unsub want us to question everyone in the pictures," Emily added. "Every man in her life is a suspect."

"Or he sees every man in her life as competition." Reid added

"It's as if he want to provoke jealousy from you Derek or shame the victim," Rossi said.

"We should bring in Stella," Derek said definitively, when the faces in the room were perplexed he followed up with "she was only with one of them, we have to bring him in Hotch."

"We can't tip our hand, Morgan we need to review the facts and then come up with a profile."

"Yes," Rossi said, "like who had access to the house, who were her students, who were her past lovers and acquaintances."

"She has a right to privacy guys—we all have skeletons in our closets," JJ said defending her friend.

"But not all of them are threatening us JJ," Emily said

"We can't make her a victim too—" JJ said.

"What should we do then JJ?" Derek snapped

"We have to find this person before –" Hotch started

"It ends up in abduction," Reid said, "87% of all stalking case had the end goal of abduction. 62% of them were able to accomplish that. and 40%-"

"No more statistics," Penelope, said as she re-entered the room with Agent Anderson, "it will only freak me out."

"We are running the prints but here are a copy of the photos."

"Thanks," Penelope said taking the photos from him, "I will create a timeline of these—ok."

The room nodded as they walked on eggshells around her, Rossi continued to toss out questions.

"Who had access to the house—we need to generate a list."

"We also need a list of the students in your class."

"I can do that too," she said, "my class roster has been sent to your phones."

"We sent a team to the house to check for bugs and cameras."

She put the first couple of pictures up in chorological order and when it came to Stella and her picture kissing in the kitchen she said, "Stella came over to the house June 7th which was a Monday"

"June 7th,"Morgan asked, "after our trip to Chicago?" he asked accusingly. She knew what he was asking and just ignored it.

"He hasn't been in the house since."

"Kitten, this isn't the Spanish inquisition"

"It feels like it," she said, "but I know that I'm the victim here - so fire away"

Emily starts the interrogation, "We are going to need you to make a list of all your friends her and in California, don't forget ex-boyfriends, acquaintances, and indiscretions. Nothing is insignificant."

"I've only had 3 boyfriends, Roger in High school, Jackson, and Derek,"she refocused herself back to putting the pictures in order and said, "I had a, uhm an exploration phase between Jackson and Roger but I can't give you names and addresses."

"What about your students, anyone take an interest in you that was abnormal. A student who took all you classes? And visited during office hours?" Reid asked.

"I am a senior thesis advisor so there is going to be contact that isn't just teacher student. I mean we have an end of year party for our students in the computer science department and Stella and I do one for our class. I attend fundraising events for the university where I meet head of pharma companies and technology firms who want to give us money for research—but nothing stands out. I just sent you a list of the students I advise."

"They are all men," JJ noted.

"Computer Science can be a boys club."

"Any professors or colleagues who make you feel that way? Or are too interested in your work?" Hotch asked.

"Bradford, I guess, but he isn't jealous of me – we both want the same tenure position at the school. So we are kind of rivals, you know competing for the one spot. He thinks I will get it because I am the only woman in the department."

"You should put Stella up there too," Derek said.

"He isn't a suspect," she said.

"Why not – he could be a scorned lover who has become obsessed," he offered the room.

"We weren't lovers," she said defensively.

"We are including all indiscretions," Emily reminded her gently. "Do you have any others?" Emily asked as a follow up question, "I'm sorry but we have to ask."

"No," she said as she continued to put up the pictures. "Well there was William, we - he was my partner at Rise and he is doing time in California. William Breen."

"What was the nature of the relationship?"

"We were friends, colleagues and business partners—Jackson, my ex, always though there was more but it was truly platonic from my end."

"I'm putting up only the PG pictures," she said once she got to the shower pictures.

"Is that date, September 23 or 24, significant to you at all? Did anything of note ever take place while you were in DC?"

"No last year, I worked," she said trying to remember something special while looking it up on her phone, "The year before that we were in Chicago, visiting your family for the impromptu Reunion—Cindy's home coming. And the year before that I can't remember—do you Derek."

"Back to Stella -Did Stella give you presents?" Rossi asked

"No, well he would order books for me—if he came across something sci-fi with computer elements."

"No birthday presents," Emily asked

"Yes, hot dogs, chocolate and a trinket for my office."

"This year he gave you a book right and DVD" Emily asked

"Yes, an E.E. Cummings book and dvd."

"Is there any significance to those gifts?" Reid asked

"Hot dogs where my craving when I was pregnant—we always thought it was odd. The trinkets were like bobble head of famous scientist. The book E.E. Cummings, my favorite author and DVD I like true blood. My department head gives wine and we normally have cake at the end of the day."

"Department head?" Emily asked so she could put it up on the board.

"Franklin,"

"We will call the local PD and get a team for your house," said Hotch.

"Guys, are we getting ahead of ourselves? I don't need a goon squad trailing me," she said to a room of 6 protective dads.

"Penelope this is serious he has been trailing you for months and he as escalated to gifts and – he will make try to make contact," Reid said as if it was inevitable.

"Maybe we should bring Stella in for questioning," Derek said again.

"He is not in the country and he isn't capable of—"

"He arrived 4 days ago," Kevin interrupted her and told the room

"That's when the first gift appeared," Reid said.

"Guys, I know him and it isn't him—he isn't computer savvy enough to pull this off. These pictures are from campus and government street cameras—he would need to be a skilled hacker to do that. Then he would need to sneak in my house and install over 10 cameras—I mean he doesn't even have a Facebook page," she said miffed that they were even considering him.

"Neither do you," JJ said

"But we aren't allowed to," Penelope said annoyed.

"And he was in your house remember that impromptu dinner," JJ said.

"Most stalkers are people that we know who have an incident that triggers a break," Reid added to support Stella being a suspect.

"What would've been the trigger?" She asked.

"Your rejection obviously," Reid replied quickly

"Dammit," Derek said punching the table, "Why are you defending him."

"I'm not I—but pictures of me in Chicago, home, DC, and Philadelphia—that just seems a bit much for someone that you see every day – He had access to me." She said, "I'm not a profiler but this seems like the behavior of someone not apart of my life or appearing to stalk me. Like I said, I'm not a profiler but something seems off…"

"She's right," Rossi said, "the language and the photos seem too text book it lack the emotion and where is the trying to contact her. He never called or anything."

"Maybe because he has access to her already—hence Stella," Derek said.

"Well the photo time line is done."

"What was the extent of your relationship with Stella" Hotch asked

"We work together for 5 years our relationship remained platonic till June 2nd then we went on a date I guess, and then we decided to remain friends and we are only friends. We prepared for the upcoming semester, he went to Sweden, his father died, and his mom was in the hospital, hence the reason I've been teaching the class myself. Well with the help of 2 philosophy TA's."

"Did you date anyone else?" Emily asked again

"No," she said

"Did anyone have an interest in you?" Emily asked

"No," she said frustrated, "I'm not the criminal here guys – I didn't fuck someone who is obsessed with me. I did not lead anyone on—I didn't ask for this."

"Hey," JJ said, "no one is saying you did."

"It feels like it and I and I'm innocent here – the relationship I had with Stella was when we were separated and I did not have any other relationship outside of that and we, Derek and I, reconciled quickly after that. I did not have an inappropriate relationship with a student or the FedEx guy. I am just as surprised as your are. These dates mean nothing to me," she said playing with the envelope the pictures came in when a DVD fell out.

"What's this?"

The note on the DVD said,

_If she were mine she would never stray – she would know better._

_She deserves better._

She read it aloud to everyone before she put in the DVD. It was a grainy video of her office. The video was of Stella kissing her. She is grabbing the credenza as he pushes his body into hers. She moans again and she stops the video immediately and says oh my god. Her world is officially crashing around her. Derek punched a wall and ran his hands over his head.

Her phone rings she ignores it like she usually does when she doesn't recognize the number.

"Who was that?" JJ asked.

"I don't know I sent it to voicemail," she said looking over at Derek.

Rings again.

"Kevin prepare a trap and trace on her mobile. Answer and put it on speaker."

"Hello," Penelope says.

"Sweet P.," says a distorted voice

"Who is this?"

"You don't remember. I thought I made an impression. I could never forget you, I love your mouth. I'm not like the others I just want to kiss you and make you mine. Simple and sweet like you."

"Others?"

"Your husband, you boyfriend, your mentees—heck your mailman," he laughed

"Who is this?"

"You will know soon. Did you get my presents?

"Why are you doing this?"

"Did you get my presents?"

"Why are—"

Click and the line goes dead.

"He wants control Penelope you have to" – Hotch said as the phone rings again.

"Try and keep him on the phone for as long as possible, his phone has bounced to 25 towers and we need to triangulate him," Kevin said.

"Sweet P. Did you get my presents?"

"Yes,"

"You are a quick learner. I like that." he said "Did you like the flowers- I think freesia are your favorite or are they hyacinths?

"Did you really call me to discuss my favorite Angiospermae? (Species name for aromatic plants)"

"Tsk, Tsk"

"Anomatheca verrucosa"

"Is that how you keep them in line—emasculate them with your brain and then seduce them with your body?"

He continues, "those techniques won't work on me baby girl, but you can try - I thought Freesia were your favorites—you look beautiful in green, by the way- till we meet again."

Click.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

Penelope walked out of the conference room and to the elevators, as she waited for the elevators Agent Anderson came up behind her.

"Are you officially my shadow?" he nodded, "I'm sorry for the shitty detail," she said.

She went outside and paced; what could she have done differently she thought. Who ever this man was he knew her—Christ he knew what she was wearing today, she said looking at her green wrap dress. When her parents died, she always knew it was her fault. She was a stubborn girl back then and a know it all. When she blew her curfew to hang out at the pit she knew – it's like she had a feeling that something bad was going to happen. She couldn't shake it - that feeling was with her today. As usual, it was her fault. She knew it wasn't Stella no matter what they said—when you lose a parent you aren't focused your crush, or bugging their house—you're focused on the time you had with them and all the time you wasted. You think about the times you should have sat at the dinner table a bit longer and talked with them, or hugged them every time you left for college. You start wishing that you called them more and asked for their advice. When you lose a parent, you don't escalate to stalking you descend into a deep depression

Something about that phone call seemed forced, she thought. She only worked at the BAU for two years but she knew stalkers felt passionate about their objects of affection and he – who ever he was—seemed to be watching her in disdain. As if he wanted to hurt her and her family just because the spirit moved him, a true psychopath not a stalker. Nevertheless, those guys up there are the best and if the profile is Stella then it is Stella.

As the tears continued to stream down her face, she thought of her kids. Did she put them in danger by bringing this to their doorstep? She needed to see them; she returned to the building and headed towards daycare.

She entered the day care and apologized to the attendant for disturbing them. She gave her kids a hug and sat down to draw with them. Her mind finally slowed down and she felt calm. The first time she could remember – she was just Penelope Morgan.

Chris scowled at her for her color choices and it reminded her of Derek. She knew that today's events reset them and they were back to where they were this summer or even worse. He now had physical images to document what he called _his worse nightmare_. Their life wouldn't be the same for a while or ever she thought. These thoughts invaded her peaceful time and she realized that she had to go back and help them solve this case.

When she returned to the conference room, the tech team recovered 14 cameras from their house and Kevin was currently trying to check who purchased them. "The problem is that these cameras can be bought at radio shack—they used nanny cameras—which stream a audio and video feed to a dedicated IP address."

"That's how they knew our nicknames—he called me baby girl," Penelope said, "Maybe we can track the serial numbers to see how long they've been in our house, or track the IP addresses and see who watched the feed."

"We've got one car that will trail you and a PD Squad car at your home. You will always have police protection until we get this unsub. We will bring Stella in first thing in the morning for questioning. We want to try to find more evidence before we reveal our hand. Right now, all we have is our suspicion. With that said lets go home and come in tomorrow with fresh eyes," Hotch said.

"I will track all of the gifts and see if any of them lead to Stella before your meeting in the morning," Penelope offered.

"Great," Rossi and Kevin said simultaneously.

"I'll get the kids and meet you downstairs, Derek," Penelope said as she collected necessary paperwork and put it in her bag. She knew it was unrealistic to avoid Derek but she wasn't ready to face the blowback of today yet. Is it bad, she thought, to use the kids as a shield against the wrath of Derek Morgan?

They arrived home and they were greeted by Officer Nolan and Officer Kwali. They explained to her and Derek that they were the first shift and the second shift came in at 1am. She thanked them and offered them coffee – they respectfully declined. The kids ran to their play table in the living room. Penelope looked at Derek and she knew she had some explaining to do. "Derek," she began, "I'm so sorry for bringing this to our doorstep," she said holding back the tears.

"Hey now, we don't know the who and the what yet," he said placing a hand awkwardly on her shoulder, "I shouldn't let me prejudice influence the case."

"Derek, I love you and - and I'm sorry about today."

"Hey will get through this- now, I wish I could get my hands on this unsub— but " he said with another uncomfortable pat on her back, he said "baby girl, don't worry we will get through this, and I'm sorry for being an ass earlier."

She smiled and leaned to kiss him and he quickly kissed her forehead – "now, let's get dinner ready for these rugrats.," he said smiling a smile that never reached his eyes.

She woke up and she was praying that yesterday was just a dream. She looked over to his side of the bed and he was already up and gone. Nope this was definitely not a dream she told herself. She heard her family downstairs and she began to start her day. She sent an email to her students and canceled class for today. She decided to stay home today and help the BAU solve this case. If they couldn't find the unsub today she had to let Franklin know – that he may need to replace her for the week. Traveling to Philadelphia with a stalker lurking made her skin want to break out in hives.

She showered but couldn't get clean—after 20 minutes of scrubbing and crying she gave up. She kept on thinking about her and Derek—he was so clinical and void of all emotion last night. She said I love you and he would change the topic or make a joke. She knew he was angry and he has every right to be but she was still hurt by the distance between them. She had to emerge from the shower, Frack she thought, it's 7:45am already! She threw on a dress and headed downstairs.

The kids were dressed and ready for daycare. They were all sitting at the counter and she grabbed a coffee and asked, "What is the plan for the day?" she asked him.

"We're bringing Stella in for questioning and after that I would love for you to come in and we can try and build a profile," Derek said as if he was talking to Hotch.

"Ok, I feel so anxious. I just want this to be over," she said grabbing his hand.

He took his hand away and said, "Come in after 1pm – Maybe you should take your yoga class. That always puts you in a good mood and maybe, something will come to you when you are more relaxed."

"Ok, I'll take my 9 am yoga class and meet you at the office."

She gave them a kiss goodbye and told her kids that she would see them for lunch. She was going to tell Derek she loved him but the silence would break her heart so she decided just smile and say "see you at the office." She turned and headed inside to change into her yoga gear as tears streamed down her face. Derek watched her go but could not find a way to cross that bridge of forgiveness that was between them.

When Derek arrived, Stella was waiting in the interrogation room, "Hotch let me interview him"

"Derek, absolutely not—this case is way to close for you. I think we should let Rossi interview him—he knows him the least and could be the most objective."

"Hotch I won't lose it—I can get in his head."

"Morgan, No!"

Their phones go off— "we have another body," Hotch said, "Let's hold him till we get back."

The team almost forgot about their main case, the women being tortured for 36 hours and then raped and killed in the last four. Hotch let Erin know that they need to come off the case yesterday but they had to transition the new team to the case—Hotch felt like their were too many wheels spinning at once and feared making a mistake and it costing another woman's life.

The team arrive to the crime scene which is 10 blocks away from the office another woman was found - this time under a park bench wrapped in green plastic. The strangulation and self-inflicted stab wounds remain consistent with the other victims.

Derek's phone rings, as he and JJ are looking over the crime scene as Rossi and Reid are talking with local PD. Emily and Hotch are speaking with the witness who discovered the body and the new FBI lead on the case.

"Morgan," he answered firmly.

"How did the interrogation go?" a computerized male voice asked him.

"Who is this?"

"Wrong question, SSA Morgan. Where am I?" the caller said with a slightly chuckle in his voice. "I think he started taking yoga so he could see her in the downward dog position. The view from behind is amazing – but you already know that."

"Listen you son of a bitch—"

"Is she as soft as she looks? I can't wait to find out SSA Morgan- Wait, she is wearing all black today—did you guys have a fight or something," he laughed.

Click, Derek's heart was beating insanely fast - driven by fear.

"Where is Penelope's yoga studio?" He asked JJ.

"Three blocks away- on 12 street NS, a block from Pete's. - Why?"

"Call the PD and tell them to make sure Penelope is secure," he said as he started to sprint in that direction

As he opens the door to the yoga studio, he shouted to the attendant,"where is Penelope Morgan?"

The startled attendant responded in the changing area.

He ran in and saw it was empty—her bag was by the electric kettle and a steaming cup of tea. He checked the bathroom and it was clear. He emerged from the back room and asked, "other exits?" He check the alley and saw noting – he ran the length of the alley looking for her and then he kicked the dumpster and screamed at god. He punched the lid and noticed Penelope's hair scarf and he picked it up with a pair of latex gloves he had in his pocket. His phone rang.

"You aren't that young football player anymore SSA Morgan," said the computerize male voice

"When I-" Derek began to say

"Catch your breath, hot stuff."

"When I catch—"

"Wait, do you feel in charge? You will just make it worse for her. The game has just begun."

Click.

With that click, Derek frantically switch the mode of his watch from standard to timer. Penelope's abduction clock started 5 minutes ago and he knew that they had 24 hours. Where was her police detail, he thought. As he stormed back into the yoga studio, the team was coming in and he told them, "Penelope has been taken."

* * *

_**Thank you for bearing with me- I decided that I wanted to write out both stories first Back to Love and Drowning in Chocolate because i felt that the stories would be better and stronger than posting chapters as i go. Especially Back to Love, which is harder because there is a case and unsub (and yes someone guessed correctly- the unsub will be revealed in chpt 23)….. I'm going on vacation but I will still post about 2 or 3 chapters this week- so thank you for you patience and I hope you enjoy the story… best kim**_


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Thank you for the reviews! You guys rock!**

Hotch called Strauss; and informed her of Penelope's abduction. She told him to standby—she had to inform the director. Hotch knew that Penelope was technically a civilian and not an FBI agent and this case should go to local PD, but he knew no matter what -the team wouldn't let that happen—Derek wouldn't let it happen. If the director wouldn't approve them to work the case—he would ask the team to take a leave so they could find Penelope. This reminded him of Haley and brought up so many feelings of failure and inadequacy. He knew logically that he was not the cause of her death—but emotionally he felt responsible every day. Yes, he loves Beth and they are gearing up for child number two, he thought—but, Haley was the one and he knew it from the first moment he saw her. This case—just reminded him of how much he lost – working the case. He had to put his head in the game—he looked over at Derek and saw he was in the middle of grilling the local PD (police department).

"Why weren't you inside?" Derek asked.

"Agent Morgan, we checked the studio and they only had one class—we couldn't stand in the class."

"Yes you could—god dammit, your job was to watch her! How are you watching her outside?" he screamed at the police officers.

"Morgan, a word."

"One second, Hotch"

"Now, Agent Morgan."

As Morgan walked away from the officers and towards Hotch, he said, "How is that surveillance?"

"We need your head in the game—now is not the time to yell at local PD. How did you know to come here?" he asked as the rest of the team walked over.

JJ responded for him, "he got a call, right Morgan?"

"The unsub called me at the crime scene and asked me about Stella and the interrogation?"

Rossi, "how did he know we picked up Stella?"

"Don't know." He started to pace, "Then he told me he knew why Stella started taking yoga – Penelope. He asked if we had a fight because she was wearing black and that is when I ran over here."

"Her purse was left in the changing room with a tea." He rubbed his head trying to ground himself, "They took her out of the alley exit– I found her scarf and then he called me again." He started pacing but he continued, "The unsub called me SSA Morgan—he knew about my football career in college. He said the game has just begun and he hung up the phone. I started the clock for her abduction as soon as he hung up. Because we only have 24 hours – before the full chances of "

"Hey, Morgan," Reid said as he put his hand on Derek's back, "we will get her back – she will be ok"

"Shit, I told her to go to class because she was so wound up. She wanted to come down and help us. I thought it would be best to come after Stella's interrogation because," he trailed of "Christ," he muttered rubbing his head. He knew he didn't want her to come down because he couldn't bear seeing them together after the yesterday. The truth of the matter was the BAU was the safest place for her to be-. "I should've brought her in today- God Dammit" he swore as he kicked the mailbox.

Hotch's phone rang and he stepped away.

"Hey, no woulda, shoulda, coulda's" Emily said, "you did the best you could with what you knew. Now, I'm going to get the surveillance footage and see evidence the locals were able to pick up."

Hotch returns to the group, "that was Strauss. we have to return to the BAU immediately. Emily and JJ hang back and see what evidence they left behind. The rest of us will head back."

As they entered, the conference room Strauss was already in the room pacing. As they came in, she began to speak, "Even though Penelope isn't an agent the director has given us strict orders to treat this as an FBI Agent abduction and we will give you all of the resources that you need."

"But," Rossi said knowing Erin better than most.

"Everything must go through me—the director and I know that when a case is personal for this team the tendency to go rogue is heightened and since someone took our family member—he thinks that we may be a touch irrational."

Derek refused to speak—he still couldn't believe she was gone. He kept on replaying this morning in his mind. He should have said he loved her. He should have kissed her but this pit of anger made it so… "Derek," Erin called.

"Sorry ma'am."

"The Director is very fond of Penelope and he will give you whatever you need. What do you have and know so far."

He updated her about the status of the case and when he was almost done JJ and Emily returned.

"We sent the tea, her purse, and scarf to the lab."

"We are running all employees and attendees of the class today – maybe the unsub was in class with her."

"The cameras in the alley were broken so we could not get anything off them."

"So, we know nothing -22 hours and we know nothing," Derek said as he headed out the door, "Let's interview Stella – he may know the unsub."

"Derek you shouldn't—"

"Hotch, Rossi can come with me but I'm interrogating that sonofabitch!"

As he stormed out, Erin said "this is the kind of behavior I was talking about—I need you all to be professional and objective or I'm going to have to take you off the case and I don't want to do that."

"Well Don't Erin," Rossi said as he followed Derek out of the room.

As Derek entered the room, he put a folder on the table.

"Why am I here, Derek?" Stella asked frustrated, "I've done absolutely nothing and no one will give me any answers?" He said as he continued pacing.

"Sit down," Derek said firmly.

"Is this how things work here? Is this Guantanamo Bay?" Stella countered.

"Sit down now or I'll make you sit down," Derek said pissed.

Stella turned and saw the craziness in his eyes and wouldn't back down, "I'm not scared of you – I don't care what position you hold. I know my rights so why did your gestapo pick me up at 6 am in the morning?"

Rossi walked in and put his hand on Derek's shoulder, and asked "coffee?"

Stella said, "No thank you, I just want to know why I'm here."

Rossi said, "You're here because of Penelope."

Stella's angry glares at Derek quickly turned to concern and care. This made Derek want to punch him, now more than before.

"I don't understand." As he processed the statement, he wondered out loud "Is she ok? Is she here?"

"Why don't you tell me? Derek said snidely

"What?" Stella asked as tears formed at the bottom of his eyes. "I haven't seen her since I left in July or June."

"Which was it? Give us details." Derek said

He sat down, "I last saw her over dinner at you house in June. I spoke to her September 6th—a Sunday or Monday before school started. Now, what happened to her? Is she ok?"

When did you get back to the DC?

"I can play this game too—I'm not answering any questions till I see her," Stella countered confidently.

"Game?" Derek asked banging the table—Remembering what the unsub said to him on he phone

"I watch Law and Order, I know she is behind the mirror. I want to speak to her now" he said.

"You can't Stella, she isn't here."

"What?" He looked at Derek accusingly, "what you think I—"he stood up and ran his fingers through his hair, "I didn't do anything her I lo" and he realized that Derek was in the room and he said, "care for her. More than anything."

"I would never hurt her" he said resolutely, "What happened?

Derek's cheek tightened and he put the pictures of the gifts on the table. Stella stopped on the watch and said, "that like a million dollar watch-it's a Tag Heur limited edition watch with plasma between two layers of diamonds that display the time. Well not a million dollars but uber expensive"

"How do you know so much about the watch?" Rossi asked.

"My dad loves—loved watches and he was obsessed with Tag Heur. One of the finest brands in all of Switzerland he would say."

"When did you enter the United States?"

"Five days ago and No I didn't call Penelope." He said finally realized hat he was a suspect in something, "I get it —you brought me down here because you think I'm with Penelope—I'm not. We did not have plans to run away together—she love you and she told me we couldn't be more than friends."

Rossi and Derek looked at each other and then at him.

"I mean I care for Penelope deeply but you, your children are the most important things in her life – that's what she told me, and we haven't spoke of it since."

"When was the last time you spoke to her?

"At the beginning of September, my father passed away, my mother was ill, and I had to ask Penelope to teach our class. Because of the time difference, we've been communicating more via email." He looked up and saw the doubt in their eyes. "Look at my phone if you want to."

"Did you send her anything for her birthday?"

"No."

"Wait here"

They left the room and Hotch was waiting there, "he knows nothing and he seemed genuinely surprised that this had something to her. He." Hotch trailed off

"Loves her," Derek said, "She said it couldn't be him but my jealousy clouded my judgment—now we wasted 2.5 hours and we still don't know where she is."

"I don't think he took her either," Rossi said confirming Hotch and Derek's findings, "Should we tell him that she was kidnapped and see if any suspects come to mind."

"Yes," Hotch said he could help us.

They return to the room and Stella said, "Have you checked the trails at Potomac Park? We would go running there and I always told her not to go on the trails by herself because it's so dense – if you are injured, there are pockets of no cell service. If you give me a map I can show you our routes, have you called the campus? Maybe she is there or maybe she was in an accident on the way to school—does she drive in now or Amtrak it? If I were you—I would be" each scenario increased the panic in his bones and he could not understand how they were so calm. Maybe Derek did something to her he thought as they stared at each other. "Did you do something to her?" he asked Derek, "According to Law and Order, the husband is always the first suspect."

"Thank god we aren't trapped in a television," Rossi said, "Sit please, Stella," Rossi starts, "last week Penelope began receiving strange gifts that didn't seem out of the ordinary because it was her birthday, flowers, wine, cheese but yesterday she received this watch – and we became aware that she had a stalker. He sent Derek photos of her and photos of you and her and"

"You thought I was taunting you," he said completely miffed.

"Of course you would," he muttered something in Swedish "but she didn't think I had anything to do with this— have you called Franklin? He would know if she came in today. Why aren't you doing anything? He asked exasperated, "taking notes, making calls, come on"

Derek finally speaks, "she was abducted this morning and we don't know where she is. She was taken from yoga class."

He ran his fingers through his hair and he began to pace—"who took her? What are you guys doing? You should be on-"

"Calm down, we are going to find her but we need your help," Derek said humbling himself and finally releasing his ego. "Can you think of any students or people at the university that were interested in Penelope," Derek continued, "We haven't created a profile yet – but he would be a dominant, alpha man, who is about control. Maybe he is from Chicago. Or maybe someone who tried to dominant you in front of her – take charge kind of man. He is a man of means he put spent over 30K in gifts and surveillance and that doesn't include the watch."

"School Fundraisers," Stella said, "that's where that type of man would be—but no one pops to mind. She was really into her AI research. She believed her research was the key to a tenure position. I would go with her because she would always say it sucks being the only girl because the men treated her like whipped cream."

"She mentioned that it was a boys club," Rossi added.

"And sometimes the boys club ignored her wedding ring because everything can be bought in their world."

"I can get you a list of the last bunch of fundraisers we went to. I can also ask Franklin who is interested in funding her research—the answer may be in there."

"Great," Derek said, "Can you go back two years?

"Sure," Stella said.

"How about Franklin?" Rossi asked

"He is harmless," Stella said, "he is a loveable guy like the bald guy from Princess Bride—it would be inconceivable that he would take her. He's happily married with 3 kids in Philadelphia – she gave me the princess bride for Christmas a few years back—you have to find her," he said as tears started to stream down his face.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Derek rose and Rossi said you are free to go, "Send me the list as soon as you can."

"Wait the day I came to talk to her, there was a cable guy there all day—the Internet was down and he was re-wiring the house. She said he'd been there all day because of failing wires but – I just had the same thing done to my house and the guy was done in an hour tops."

"Yes, that was the day before I came back from Chicago. She couldn't figure out why it wasn't working and she called Verizon."

"Let's have Kevin check that out too."

He nodded and Derek's jaw tightened as he gave Stella one last look over and he exited the room.

"Derek, Agent Rossi—will you tell me when you find her?"

Derek nodded and Rossi said, "I will call you personally"

They returned to the conference room, Rossi said, "Stella knew nothing but he is providing us a list of attendees of the fundraisers for the U of Penn. Penelope's was drumming up money for her AI research."

"And the possible funders were rich alpha types"

"So, Stella isn't a suspect?"JJ asked.

"No, but he did give us a lead as to how the cameras got in the house—Let's have Kevin look into the surveillance cameras and Verizon—Stella said that someone was doing work at the house, when he came over and he was there from 8 am till 4pm. Penelope mentioned something to me too. Where is Kevin?"

"Derek," Kevin runs in, "You have to see this."


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

"Derek," Kevin runs in, "You have to see this."

He turns on the screen and we see Penelope appears on the screen. She's pacing back and forth—talking to herself. The room becomes silent and JJ and Erin say at the same time Oh my God. You can hear a door unlocking and metal sliding. She turns to the camera and you can see the bruises on her cheek and a cut on her lip. Her face is dirty so it is hard to determine what's a bruise and what's dirt. Her neck is covered with bruises or dirt. Fear flashes on her face as the dark figure walks towards her. She blinks it away and tries to regulate her breathing. The masked figure gives her a red nighty and says, "Put this on!"

She shakes her head, and replies "No."

She looks stubbornly into the camera. He punches her and immediately backslaps her. She gasped for air as she stepped back.

"He's watching you know—Derek is right on the other side of that camera." She sees the camera above his shoulder and says, "Derek. Don't. Watch." The man backslaps her again and she falls into the wall, which is comprised of smelly cold bricks.

"Remember when we saw Stephen Sondheim's play Three at Mosoulu and, "the masked man slaps her again, "this isn't Skype –Put it on or we will do it for you."

"No," she says calmly, he punches her in her gut, which causes her to bend forward.

He grabs her hair and pulls her close to him, "Give me a reason to taste you," he said as he grabs her neck and lifts her, she starts gasping for air—then he kisses her.

Another masked figure says, "We have to wait – He has to go first."

When he releases her, she falls back and is coughing, he says, "I want to taste you – but I want you to beg for it – and trust me you will. Now, put it on or we will do it for you. I can't promise they will remain civilized."

"They will find me. Derek will find me."

"He's too busy looking for your son," he said snidely.

"Omigod, what have you done to Chris," she starts punching and kicking him.

"She's a fighter boys, she's got spirit. Going to love breaking her in," he takes out a syringe and gives her a drug—she gets dizzy and braces herself on the wall as her eyes widen.

Tune in later SSA Morgan—you don't want to miss it.

"Chris and Izzy are fine downstairs in daycare. Why lie about that," Hotch wonders.

"Four unsubs?" Rossi asked

"Cult?" Emily countered

"She's in a windowless room underground probably a basement or cellar. What was your last date?" JJ asked

The team was asking question and all he could think of was the last thing he said to her. The totality of what was happening hit him. The unsub was attacking him through her, the guilt anger and desperation hit him at once and all he wanted to do was fight through the weeds and save her. This moment is the reason he feared all that he had- family kids – this moment was his worst nightmare come alive.

Morgan some one said but he wasn't sure.

"Morgan" Hotch called.

He turned around and he had tears streaming down his face. She said she loved me and I was so angry and frustrated that I couldn't say it back, he thought. Could that be the last words they ever spoke? A smile was the last thing he ever gave her. How can there be a god, he thought, first my dad and now her.

"Derek, we will get her back. But, I know she told you something – only something you and her know and she said it in that video. You aren't going to watch it again but Reid, recite it back to us," Hotch said with authority.

"What was your last date she said it was Stephen Sondheim's play Three at Mosoulu" Reid asked

"We haven't seen a play in years" he said with robotic regret "our last date was as at Katie's Café if you consider lunch a date."

"Mosoulu is a slave ship that is a restaurant in Philadelphia. It was one of the first slave ships in America. Why would she bring that up? Reid wondered.

"Wait, Steve Sondheim never made a play call three it was called Company the clue is there somewhere," Kevin offered

"What was your last date in Philadelphia, that is the unsubs comfort zone too." JJ asked.

Before he could answer his phone rang, he answered it on speaker. He clicked the green button.

"SSA Derek Morgan, from the gritty streets of Chicago to the FBI- you are a hood fairy tale. I'm not from the hood but that is what I've been told."

"Who is this?" Derek asked.

"You will find out who we are soon enough. For someone so smart did you really think a Philosophy professor could pull this off? I mean to steal your wife in broad daylight with FBI protection," he laughed, "a professor."

"I mean, I am just a normal man- not a genius, not an FBI behavioral analyst - but I know people like you - once a woman strays, you always wonder right? You always think is she? Did she? Will she? You judge our way of life but in the end if you understood it, we wouldn't be here. She would be home serving you, as she should. Women are made to serve and she will learn that," he said with a finality that scared the team.

"You son of a bitch - when I get my hands on you I'm going to—" Derek said.

"Tsk, Tsk, you are thinking too far into the future. You need to ask yourself, how?"

"How what?" Derek quipped back.

"How are we going to break her, train her, - she is feisty you know. But they all are in the beginning and then when the pain becomes unbearable- and there will be pain, my friend, they submit. They all ways do - well most of them do. When they don't you, find them under park benches."

Derek punches the desk, feeling helpless.

"Easy now, Hot Stuff." The man said.

"What do you want?"

He laughed, "We already have it. You took something from us and now we are going to take something from you?"

"What?" Derek asked rhetorically.

"Sa joie de vivre—(her joy of life)"

"If you touch her, I'll—"

"Once again, empty threats - I do not intend to touch her- but I can't control them. See, we're a family and when you fuck with one you fuck with all of us. You took someone from us and now we took someone from you.

"However, we are gentlemen, we will return her, when we are done."

Click.

As soon as the phone clicked, Derek punched the wall and tears streamed down his face.

"This is related to our current case?" Emily said, "He said she would be found under a park bench—just like our victim this morning."

"He could have watched us this morning too," Rossi said.

"It appeared like a stalker case – because they wanted to separate you – divide and concur," Hotch said.

"We're the fuckin BAU and they fool us," Derek said angrily, "Who are they and what did I take from them? This is about us – this is about me?"

"The call gave us a lot information Derek- they told us how to find her," Rossi said confidently.

"We have to find her before they" Derek's voice trailed off.

"We will" Emily said.

"They've had her for 4 hours so far. All of the other victims were tortured and drugged for the first 30 hours then raped and dumped in the last four. We have 19 hours left and we are no closer," he said seeing the writing on the wall.

"This isn't your fault," Erin said, "- let's get our girl back."

Reid said, "The language of the call is about dominance and submission. We took a family member. What cases have we had that dealt with the break-up of a family Kevin?"

Kevin rattles off several cases.

"Wait the swinger case in Florida," JJ said

"Pull that up," Emily said

Rossi said, "He knew about Derek's Chicago days - he called you a local hero. Maybe it is someone from Chicago or someone who is friends with you from Chicago- Buford? Or a pal of his?"

"No, he operated alone," Derek, said.

"She mentioned a Stephen Sondheim play called three but it was changed to Company," Kevin said.

JJ said, "a woman should know her place- where have we heard that before?"

Emily followed up with, "She should be serving you and she wouldn't stray."

Hotch said knowingly, "Malcolm Ford"

Rossi said, "the company."

"Ohmigod," Emily and JJ say at the same time.

"She told us she said your last date was a slave ship after you saw a play called company, Reid said, "She is on a boat she could have said that she saw a play called three but she was giving us clues. They abducted her and have her in a room so the comfort zone must be a 45-mile radius. This should include all ports. Look at the way the light is swinging here after she attacked him. They are on the water'" Reid said.

"Derek, you and I will go to Chicago and visit Ford" Hotch said, "Rossi and Emily contact Elle in sex crimes and see what she can tell us about the Company in DC. We are looking for members who would have been in DC, Chicago, Philadelphia, and surrounding areas. Reid and Kevin listen to the call and see what we missed - he engaged us too long not to have slipped up. Also, Reid map out the comfort zone. JJ look at all of the old cases involving the Company we need to uncover a pattern. We'll see Cindy as well and find out how they got her compliance." Hotch said with confidence, "We know one thing- we have a 36-hour clock- with Penelope, it may be longer since this is what they've been building to."

Rossi said, "We have to assume that she is drugged and with the end game of rape and torture occurring within the last 4 hours."

"Remember we can use satellite imaging and all of the toys the CIA have—we have to get her before 24 hours," Strauss said, "I've been a victim of sexual violence and –" the room was silent, "we have to bring her home before then."

On the plane, Derek called his mom, Fran. He asked if she could be ready in about and hour to come to DC. He let her know, Penelope's been kidnapped and he needs her help.

* * *

_**thanks for reviews! MAXXBaby guessed the unsub!**_

_**I hope you're enjoying the ride!**_


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

On the plane, Hotch and Derek discussed their approach to Ford. "We need him to tell us who is running this."

"He is in prison for life," Morgan said, "So what can we offer him to roll on his team."

"Right after we meet with him we'll see Cindy. She will be able to give us insight and maybe she knows the players as well."

"Let's see if we can see the lawyer too—what was his name Cohen?"

"He killed himself in prison," Kevin said via videoconference.

* * *

As they entered the Visitors room, Malcolm said, "Well, well Derek Morgan. What do I owe the pleasure?"

"You know why I am here." Derek said, "I am giving you one chance you dumb son of bitch, one chance, you hear me. Tell me where she is or you will spend the rest of your time in solitary confinement."

Ford smiled at Morgan as if he is in control of the conversation, "what are you talking about Derek Morgan or should I call you SSA Derek Morgan."

Derek banged his hand on the table and said, "I know about the company and we arrested 10 people in Chicago. Who else is playing this game?"

Malcolm sighed heavily as if he was talking to a child. "It isn't a game Derek—you should know that by now," he continued holding Derek's gaze, "This is life—life before gadget and cars—we knew our roles and we abide by them."

Derek interrupted his monologue, "Malcolm they took my wife, maybe if you help me find them they will move you to a better facility but that is all I can offer you."

Malcolm scoffed, "Is that all an FBI agent is worth? A better prison? I think you can do better than that. I want to see my family. Can you believe my wife and son haven't visited me since you put me here? Unacceptable."

"No way in hell, Cindy is coming here," Derek growled, "The only offer on the table is an upgrade in accommodations - you have 2 minutes to give me a list – if you don't or you lie in anyway you will be in solitary for the rest of your stay." He pushes the paper and pencil to him, "Now write."

"What happens in the company stays in the company—I would've thought you understood that by now. I've nothing to say SSA Derek Morgan. Please do your worst," he laughed, giving Morgan crazy eyes, "when they return her I hope she can still speak. I heard she is feisty."

That's it Derek jumped and started to pound him. Hotch pulled him off him. "Know that every time you are up for parole I will be here, you bastard."

As they walked back into the SVU, Hotch didn't know how he should broach the subject of Cindy's visit. He thought if they could get a clue as to where Penelope was it would be worth the mental anguish of the visit. He thought about Haley—he would have done anything to get there earlier. He couldn't figure out how to sugar coat the question so he just said it, "should we ask Cindy to visit him?"

" He won't give the location – he is a sociopath and he just wants to torment us and her. We will find Penelope today" – he said with determination—"we have to."

"I think we should let Cindy make that choice—if she feels up to it she should ask him for the address. We should let her decide"

"Hotch, I don't even know how—" he said, "My world is so chaotic—I can't think straight. I think Ford just wants to exert control over situation—I don't think he even wants to see them—he want control over them."

They arrive to Aunt Vaughn house, they interviewed Cindy about the company and she tells them how they get the women to comply. She tells them about the torture rituals and the gang rape. She was never apart of that aspect of the game because she was Malcolm's and he didn't believe in sharing. She did tell them about how the broke the women with drugs and beatings. She didn't know about the murders.

"Can you tell me anything about the men around Malcolm? Where did he go who did he associate with?"

"I didn't know the names but a man I assumed was the boss came every Thanksgiving and we would have a 4 day meeting at the Cabin. It was like a family day. It was understood that he was the boss and the leader, but I never knew his name. I wasn't his type either he liked the newest members because he was into training them. If you didn't say sir, he would slap you no matter who you were. I wish I could tell you more."

"What did you do with Malcolm's stuff maybe there is a clue as to who this guys is in there," Derek asked.

"All of his stuff is in storage—he had a tablet that he used to contact the company.

I know it is password protected - I can take you there it's 10 minutes away from here."

They retrieve a box of what appears to be Malcolm's company documents as Derek is looking through the crates in the unit as Hotch and Cindy talk by the car. Hotch tells Cindy of Malcolm's request to see her in exchange for information on Penelope. He tells her "Morgan didn't think anything good would come from the meeting except to terrorize you but if he knows something—anything that could help us find Penelope faster it would be helpful. We have to head back but if you feel up to it—here is the warden's number he will give you access anytime—if you decided to go."

She looked at Hotch and her eyes were over come with fear—and he knew that Morgan was right, what good could come from this.

* * *

Derek explains what happen to Penelope to his mother on the way to the jet. "Beth has the kids but I need you—I don't know what the unsub's end game is and—"she put his head on her shoulder and said, "you need your mama." He started to tear up in her arms and she soothed him.

* * *

When they arrive to the BAU, Derek gives Kevin the tablet and informs him that it might be deadlocked and he is going to have crack it. Elle walks into the conference room with JJ. Hotch says, "I wish this reunion was under better circumstances but what do you have for us."

Elle began, "We've been watching the company for 4 years and we haven't been able to identify a leader. When you arrested Malcolm Ford you shut down the Chicago contingency but they're in every major city. They recruit through sex clubs – they have a fight club mentality—meaning they take men who are feeling unfulfilled and give them purpose through the game. The women on the other hand range from submissive types to mail order brides. We haven't seen them take unwilling women."

"Cindy, Derek's cousin was a member for 8 years and she said some of the men like to take women they can break, abuse, - force into submission," Hotch said, "We think this is the goal with Penelope."

"Do you know who the players are in DC or Philadelphia?"

"We have at least 45 players who have willing partners—"

"I can cross check that with the list Stella send us," Kevin offered, "He sent is a list of the possible grant supporters and school fundraiser attendees."

As they work away in the conference room, Kevin pulls up a live feed… this is weird. Penelope appears on the screen, she is in a red slip crying in the corner. She's talking to herself, "Mom I am so sorry," she cried, "I never meant to make you so angry."

"I promise I will fix the car."

"I promise." She start humming Team Spirit (by Nirvana) to herself as plays the beat on her knees. She is so enthralled in the song that she doesn't see the masked man come in nor does she care. He calls her name but she doesn't hear it through her drug-induced concert.

"Penelope," he repeats louder.

"Look at the Beignets, she says to him and the imaginary crowd behind him, "I want a thousand beignets, with bacon -purple and yellow please. Do you want one? She asked with child like wonder.

"She is tripping her face off," Elle said.

"Mommy look at the beignets some with white powder some with purple powder."

She turned to her left and listened intently, " no they don't have orange powder. I'm sure of it," she said annoyed, "You have to have a purple one—"

"Penelope," the masked figured called again. "How much did you give her?" he asked the guard watching her.

"Three sir"

"What?! —That is too much for a horse and you gave that to her. You better pray she comes down before he arrives—or it's you ass."

"Shit, don't tell him," the guard said.

"He will see that she isn't right"

"Yes, Mr. Beignet," She said giggling like a child.

"Come here" the masked man said. She stayed hidden the corner.

"Come here now" he said with authority

"No," she said shaking her head fervently.

"Do you want the box?" he asked and she shook her head as she walked towards him.

"Look how dilated her pupils are and how chapped her lips are," Reid said "—she must be on a mix of ecstasy."

"When I say come you come," He slapped her – "why is that on?" he asked the guard, pointing to the camera.

"I don't know," he said walking towards the camera.

"Is it transmitting? Turn it off." The masked man said to the guard

Penelope starts pacing and talking loudly to herself and out of nowhere she kicks the masked man in his shins and knocks him on the floor. She kicks him in his ribs and raises her foot to smash his face when he grabs her foot and flips her into the guard working the camera. The camera, the guard, and Penelope fall. The camera remains on.

"You fuckin bitch, the masked man says as he gets up, "Tie her down he says to the guard and give her the box and half a K—she is too hopped up."

He walks over to her and says, "If you ever hit me like that I again you will be floating in the bay. You hear me."

When she doesn't answer he punches her in the stomach and she cries "yes, Mr. Beignets"

Another tall dark figure walks into the room, he is wearing a navy tailored suit. A custom made light blue buttoned down shirt and a mask. He takes a switchblade out of his pocket and starts to play with it. "Penelope are you being a good girl, " he asked as he flicked his switchblade open. The two guards scatter out of frame and when they walk by him they say sir.

"Yes, Mr. Beignets."

He put the blade on her chin and made her look at him. A plain plastic half mask covered his face; she could only see his face from his goatee to his chin. She kept on licking her lips because she is thirsty,

"May I please have some water, sir? I feel—"

"Water" he said over his shoulder. He looked at her and touched her face as if she was a puppy. He put the blade in his pocket and started to wipe the dirty off of her shoulder. "You need a shower" he said as he passed her the bottle of water. "Thank you, sir" she seemed pretty lucid to him. The drugs where wearing off he thought and it was time for phase two. As she drank the water he took out and played with the blade again. She wasn't scared- most of the women remained scared to the very end but she was different. He tapped the blade on her chin and said "are you ready to go home." He did notice how dilated her pupils were and thought she should be coming down not tweaking.

She looked up and smiled, "yes"

He slapped her so hard, she flew and into the pillar head first.

"Sir," she said, "I meant yes, sir."

"That's better."

She didn't know she was bleeding until the warm blood fell on her feet. She passed out and he ordered the men to bring her to the playroom.

* * *

"Where we supposed to see that?" Emily asked, "It seemed like the camera was on by accident."

"The last guy seems like the boss," Rossi said, "—everything he wore seemed custom made and did you see how the other men fell in line. He is the dominant one—he is the ring leader."

"Beignets aren't those a New Orleans thing." Emily asked JJ.

"Yeah she loves them," Derek said "—she is so drugged she isn't making sense – they have her on the cocktail of ecstasy, LSD and god knows what else"

Derek trying to focus on the case at hand, He said "I'll throw you in the bay – where is there a bay around here? "

"We have the Chesapeake Bay, Baltimore Bay, and Lewes Bay," Kevin said

"We need to narrow that down. They are speeding up the clock—they've had her for 20 hours and according to past cases they've kept the women for another 10 before torturing them."

* * *

**Poor Penelope! **

**Thank you for the reviews and follows!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing!**

330 in the morning, Rossi's phone rings. "Agent Rossi," he answers.

"Hi it's Stella,"

"Stella let me put you on speaker."

"Something just came to me—when Penelope and I were at a fundraiser for the sciences like May or so. There was this man who was odd. Derek said that he would try to emasculate me or something like that in her presence. Well he kept on calling me philosophy professor and insinuated it wasn't a real science. He also cornered her and Franklin several times offering to support all of her research."

"Is that odd?" JJ asked

"Normally a few companies pitch in to support science research because it never makes a profit. A company like Apple doesn't even back a research project 100% unless it is in house."

"I don't know his name but- He had monogramed shirts and his initials were LCW. I hope this helps"

"Do you know what he looked like," Elle asked.

"Can you come in and work with a sketch artist?" Derek asked

"Sure, be there in 30." He said as he hung up.

"Should we be concerned that he is inserting himself into the investigation," Emily asked the group.

Elle disagrees, "he has no known affiliation with the Company."

"Even though we have our issues, he is just as freaked out as me and I don't think he's apart of it."

Kevin interrupts them and says, "no one on that list has those initials," Kevin's computer dings, "Shit, we just received a new video—"

"Elle, they are escalating faster than we thought," Erin said, "have you experienced this before?"

The video begins to play and the room is silenced. Penelope is in a new outfit. She is clean; the team can clearly see the bruises along her neck, and arms. Her face is the same with a gash on her head and a cut on her lip. She is wearing bright red lipstick and a touch of eyeliner. She looks like a 50's starlet who has been beaten. She is blinking extremely slow and seems to be off balanced.

"Are you ready" the well dressed man asked as he caresses her cheek.

"Yes, sir," She said looking down. He guides her to the chair in front of the camera. They are in a new room that is filled with S&M toys and rigs. The room has whips, chains, muzzles and contraptions they have never seen before.

Before she sits down he puts his hand on her waist and says, "Now tell me the rules again," he said playing with the knife in one hand and caressing her back with the other. She stood on her tippy toes and whispered to him.

"Very good now go tell them."

She sat in the seat and brushed her bangs out of her face. She began, "This is the last video we are going to make," she said looking into the camera. "I'm playing my last game in the playroom." The man came behind her and rested his hand on her shoulder.

Hotch's phone rings he steps out and takes the call.

She continued speaking very slowly, "To leave the playroom you choose 10 toys to play with or door number 2 – the knife. I have one hour to choose but either way you will see me soon," she said smiling.

"How was that sir?"

"Perfect, " he said helping her out of the chair.

"Turn it off," he said and as she did, she sang "Beignets"

She seems more "lucid than before—could the drugs be wearing off." JJ asked nervously.

"Morgan, Cindy's on the phone we have a lead," Hotch said as he put the phone on speaker.

"Derek, I know you didn't want us to, but I couldn't help it. You did so much for me and never gave up on us- knowing I could help was just eating at me. We just came from seeing Malcolm and he gave us a name - Leif Cornell Westinghouse."

She continued as Kevin typed away and pulled up his info on the conference room screen, "He is the man who orchestrated taking the game into real life. He runs a pharmaceutical company in Delaware."

"That is the same man Stella was talking about," Emily said surprised.

Kevin, "he owns 150 warehouses on the pier of Baltimore Bay."

"He isn't on any list of ours," Elle said regretfully.

"He is on Stella's list – he attended a fundraiser 4 years ago at Penn but that was it," Kevin said regretfully, "He never attended again—well he never RSVP'd again."

Derek in takedown mode says, "we can't knock on 150 doors quietly—we don't have that kind of manpower."

"We can contact the director and let him know we need to use the satellites to scan the area. We can pinpoint them while we head over," Erin suggested

"If he is as smart as we think he is, I bet she is in an abandoned building next to his. He is free of all liability and she isn't on his property," Reid said matter of factly.

"I agree let's go- and Kevin come with us so you can direct us once inside. The only thing we have on our side is being stealth," Hotch said.

"Thank you Cindy!" JJ said

* * *

IN the warehouse, she figured that she tried to focus but the whips were floating and the knives were sparkling like diamonds. She kept on repeating to herself sir—sometimes she couldn't remember why she had to say sir but she kept on telling herself, as if her life depended on it. Sometimes a moment of clarity came through and she prayed to have full control of her facilities. She wanted to think and see things as they were. As soon as that thought came, a cold plastic hand touched her shoulder and she felt like she was floating again.

"What have you decided," the tall man in the navy suit asked as he put on his other latex glove.

"I don't know, sir," her response made him smile, "I thought I had more time."

"Change of plans you have 5 more minutes to decide."

"Yes, sir." She saw a fish catch her tears as she realized her time was over. She would never see her parents, Derek, her kids, the team again. She walked over to the knives and could no longer compose a clear thought.

"Am I so bad? You choose the knives?" he asked.

"No, sir," as she tried to explain her choice, he grabbed her and kissed her. He tasted of cigarettes and stale breathe. She tried to escape his grasp but realized how big and powerful he was and her body was too bruised and battered to put up a fight.

"You taste amazing," he said as he played in her hair.

"Leave," he said to the others.

"But we want our turn," the newest member protested.

"Now," he said simply and forcefully. When they left the room, he grabbed her again and began to kiss her again. She became stiff and scared; this was the moment she feared. Her mind wouldn't allow her to stay present she kept on floating and she had to keep on pulling her thoughts to the present. He bit and kissed her neck hard and she let out a gasp of pain.

"Undress and lie down," he said as he started to open his pants.

"No," she said as she backed away, "I choose the knives, sir."

"You won't be happy when I catch you come here and undress Penelope."

"No," she said trying to keep herself equidistant away from him but it only worked for a minute or so and she caught her. He wrapped his belt around her neck and made her gasp for her last breaths. He pulled her to the wall and tied the belt to a hook. He threw water on her, which felt good to her because of the ecstasy. Her pores came alive one by one and she felt like she was in heaven. She realized how close she was to the knives and she tried to grab one as he began to undress. One more inch, but the more she reached for a knife the less air she had. She finally grabbed one and the tray fell on the floor.

He looked up and before he could come to her, she cut the belt. She caught his bicep with the knife as he tried to come for her. His watch alarm went off and he panicked. He backslapped her and she went flying into a wall as she bounced off the wall she fell on the bench where a knife pierced through her back.

"Don't you wish you chose door number one Tsk, Tsk, —stubborn to the end, baby girl." He bent down and kissed her as he pushed her further down on to the blade. She felt and excruciating amount of pain as her tormentor kissed her as if she was his first love.

He said "Night, Night- Sweet Penelope," as he kissed her forehead.

He exited the room as she was over come with white-hot pain.

* * *

**Geez, my muse took a turn, but don't worry it will be a HEA. Thank you for the reviews and the follows... i had no idea this story would be so long!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing!**

As the helicopters left the BAU, Kevin and Elle debated where to land. "I agree with Reid we should assume they aren't in his building. What neighboring buildings have activity right now," Elle said slight peeved that the geek was second-guessing her

"There are three buildings with four people or more in them" Kevin said, "help me narrow it down."

"There would be two people in the same room with 2 or 3 people outside the door and spread out through the building," Derek said confidently, " two guards on the ground level,"

"Ok, that's 5600 West Dock Street, right next to the Baltimore Bay mall."

"We should enter from the roof and have swat enter on the ground floor," Derek said, "No causalities, we need to interrogate everyone involved here."

* * *

Using the satellite feed, Kevin guides Derek to a room where Penelope is. He opens the door and sees a woman wearing a white dress motionless on the ground, He wants to scream her name but he knows they can't alert the entire building so he and JJ run to her. He is so relieved to see it isn't her. He feels her pulse and confirms that she is dead. JJ radios the team informing them of the status.

They meets two SWAT team members on the staircase and they all enter the sixth floor.

Kevin directs them to another body, when he opens the door he sees Penelope on the floor. Derek tells the team their exact location and to send a medic.

Penelope looks at him and can't believe it's Derek, she has seen him so many times just to have him disappear that she reaches out for his hand as confirmation. When their hands touch, she tries to speak.

"Hey, Hey—I have you," he said kissing her hand and her face. When he kissed her forehead a tear slipped from his eye to her cheek, "Medic is on the way." He takes in all her injuries and JJ points to the knife in her back.

She tried to speak, "don't speak," he says squeezing her hand. He wants to pick her up and wrap her in his arms but she is so fragile. "I love you," he said with tears in his eyes as he caressed her face.

She took a long blink and said "I" he put a finger on her lips and said, "I know. Save your energy. The medic will be here soon."

Her eyes started to close and he said "no keep on looking at me"

She squeezed his hand and opened her eyes, "Tell Chris and Izzy that" she said gasping for air to continue.

"No," he said as tears streamed down his face, "No, goodbyes you aren't going anywhere you hear me- You're not going anywhere"

"I'm so sorry—I wish we had time," she licked her lips "more time" she took a deep breath and said, "Promise me," she said, "Promise me," she started to convulse.

The convulsing stopped and he searched for her pulse. He found a faint one as the Medics came in the room

"I love you," she said as her body started convulsing again this time with blood coming out of her mouth.

They placed her on the gurney and propped her on her side not to disturb the knife. They secured her neck and body and carried her out to the ambulance. Derek informed the team he was heading to the hospital with her.

As the ambulance flew to the hospital, everything for Derek went in slow motion. He could hear her heart beat which was the most comforting sound in the world. He tried to hold her hand as they raced to the hospital. Her heart rate came crashing down and the alarms went off in the ambulance. Derek closed his eyes and said not again. Then he whispered, Dad, don't let them take her from me. The medical team revived her on the second jolt. As her heart rate stabilizes, her head starts to hemorrhage, as they enter the driveway of the John Hopkins ER.

* * *

Two hours later the team enters the hospital. Derek is sitting in the waiting area on the floor with his bloody hands on his head. JJ sees him and kneels beside him. "How is she?"

"She's in surgery," he whispered, "Her skull is fractured and she flat lined in the ambulance. They are repairing her lungs and head trauma at the same time. The surgery will take 3 more hours and then we wait and see."

"Did you call your mom?" JJ asked

He nodded, "she and the kids are coming and we will stay across the street at Hyatt."

JJ lifted his face and asked, "Have you eaten? You need to wash the blood of your hands, Derek—when she comes out of surgery you will definitely freak her out," she smiled.

He just noticed that he was covered in her blood, "Come on lets freshen you up for- Penelope," she said helping him stand up.

Tears streamed down his face as he stood up.

"I'll grab a shirt from the car and meet you in the bathroom," Hotch said as he walked away.

He nodded as Reid walked him to the men's room.

When they emerged from the bathroom Derek took a seat next to JJ and sat in the chair like a bird perched on a tree limb. JJ took his hand and held it. About an hour later a young doctor came to the waiting area and asked for Mr. Morgan. They all stood up. "I'm Dr. Steele. Your wife is still in surgery. We weren't able to start the surgery as quickly as we wanted to because the drug combination in her system was deadly—she had a mix of animal tranquilizers, ecstasy, narcotics, and benzodiazepine drugs. A normal person would have OD- your wife is a fighter. Once we were able to start, we removed the knife lodged between her ribs in her upper back, we were able to investigate the damage to the area, and it was extensive. Her Thoracic Cavity was compromised as well as her lung. We were able to repair the lung and we are currently investigating the damage to the cavity. The tip of the blade tore her Vagus nerve. We fused it together with a microscopic laser but it is too early to tell what the ramifications of that tear will be. She could have complications with her sensory organs especially the touch and pain sectors.

Our major concern is her skull fracture, sir. She has three and in transit, one started hemorrhaging. We were able to remove the bone chip causing the bleed but because they are compound depressed skull fractures, there are lacerations over the fracture, resulting in the internal cranial cavity being in contact with the outside environment increasing the risk of contamination and infection.

The next 24 -48 hours are extremely critical. I will be back in two hours to give you an update—our cafeteria is on the 4th floor, if you need a bite and coffee machine is down the hall."

"Thank you Dr. Steele," he paused and then asked "Did she have any broken bones – her wrist seemed swollen but."

"Mr. Morgan, once she makes it through the surgery we will take care of her secondary and tertiary injuries. We want to get her out of the wood first."

He nodded.

"We are doing everything we can" she said with a comforting smile.

As soon as she left, Derek turned to Reid "what is the chance that she wakes up and walks out of here, percentage wise?"

"Derek I don't"

"Come one genius."

"There are too many variables if the Vagus nerve is fine and there was only superficial damage to the thoracic cavity you are looking at 70% chance but the cranial damage makes the percentage swing between 73% to 19%." Reid paused and continued with a heavy sigh, "what she didn't mention is who knows the state of her brain with the drug combination she had. That could diminish everything if her brain is…. If her mental capacity is..." JJ squeezed his hand and said, "She will be fine."

"I should call her family, the university, and Jackson," Derek said trying to give himself a project.

"I can help," Emily offered.

"It's ok I should do it," he said walking away from the team.

"She has to pull through," Erin says.

"She must for his sake," Reid said watching Morgan walk away.

* * *

**This story has definitely taken an interesting turn. I hope you're enjoying it and thank you for the love and constant reviews!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. So many thanks for the new story followers and reviews. I've been bad at responding to reviews because we are not in a happy place in the story yet... but gosh darnit we will get our HEA. **

* * *

As they discuss the case, Fran returns with a tray of coffee.

"We have two men in custody." Elle says, "One posed as the Verizon man and placed the cameras and the other admits to the abduction."

"What about Leif?" Rossi asked.

"He wasn't in the country—he was at a TED talk in Paraguay with 100 witnesses."

"So who was the third guy?" Hotch asked.

"Penelope stabbed someone, but we can't find him in the system—and Leif's DNA is not in the system either."

"Can't we just follow the money? Who paid for the cameras, the vehicles? Can Ford give any thing." Emily asked very frustrated.

"That's the thing no one is giving him up. They are falling on their swords and we offered them a good deal," Elle said perplex.

"He can't get off scot-free. Can we place him at the scene of the crime? That bastard has to pay—" Derek said full with venom.

"Mr. Morgan," Dr. Steele said

They all rose, "Derek," he said trying to be friendly.

"Derek," she said smiling, "The surgery was a success. We were able to drain the excess liquid from the brain and restore the bone structure of her skull. The damage to the thoracic cavity was minimal – our biggest concern was the vagus nerve – we won't know the extent of the damage until she wakes up. We gave her a full body scan and repaired her one fractured rib. We injected her sprained muscles with steroids to speed up the repair. When she wakes up - we want the body to focus on healing major injuries. We gave her a rape kit and pregnancy test due to the circumstances surrounding her admittance here and they both came back negative. She in recovery on fifth floor ICU. When she is moved to ICU she can have two visitors at a time."

"I don't want to alarm you but since we are almost out of the woods—I need you to be prepared - if, I mean, when she wakes up she may have – how do I say this, problems with her brain functionality. The fractures were in two different hemispheres of the brain and the bone fragments were in the motor skill area. That on top of the level of drugs that were in her system could have all sorts of after effect that we won't be able to identify till she wakes up."

"We are almost out of the woods," she said taking his hand and giving him a smile and a squeeze.

"Any questions?" she asked.

He shook his head and said "Thank you doctor."

"I will be here till 7pm so if anything comes up you can have them page me."

* * *

The rest of his family arrived; Desiree, Sarah, Izzy and Chris; along with Jackson and her two brothers. Derek greeted them and gave them the updates- minus the doom and gloom.

"Grandma said mommy got hurt can we see her," Chris asked.

"Not yet – she just got out of surgery and she needs time for the medicine to work."

Izzy was reaching up at her dad wanting him to pick her up. After he picked her up, she hugged him and looked around, as if she was amazed by the view up there.

"You should take them to lunch baby and get out of the hospital," Fran said as Izzy played with his ear.

"I can't" he whispered, "I'm not leaving—" he said as he put her down and she ran to Emily.

"Derek," his mother said chastising him, "they haven't seen you for 4 days and they need you too."

"She flat lined twice mom—I don't think – I can" Fran interrupted her son and said,

"You have to have faith baby boy—She is going to wake up and be just fine." She said it, as if it was a universal fact- Penelope would wake up and he would have his baby girl back. She rubbed his back and said, "I saw a Friendly's 3 blocks away and Chris wants a sundae for lunch."

"Ok," Derek said turning around and finding Izzy and Chris playing with Reid and Emily.

"Lunch time my little munchkins—" he said trying to be positive.

"I'm hungry, too," JJ and Reid said at the same time not wanting Morgan to be alone.

Chris started to cheer, "it's a party!"

Derek smiled as he picked up Izzy, "Come on princess, pancakes for you."

"With strawberries," Izzy said happily, "that's how mommy likes them. Should we bring her something back?"

"She likes it with whip cream too." Derek added

"But only for mother's day and birthdays 'member?" Chris said

They walked out of the hospital planning their meals.

When they were out of earshot, Fran turned to Hotch and Rossi, and asked how is she really?

"There are too many variables to say confidently either way." Hotch replied tightlipped.

"Her body made it through the surgery, now she just has to wake up. When she wakes up they are concerned about he mental state – because of the fractures and drugs." Rossi puts an arm around her and says, "but we will take it one day at a time, Bella."

* * *

**PS. i have no idea why Rossi is hitting on Erin and Fran in my story-**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

_Penelope is walking down the street wearing a spaghetti strapped sundress. Everything in her view is sun kissed with a gorgeous mix of orange, pink, and purple rays. The sun has been setting all day it seems or rising.. she can't remember. She meets her parent's at Café Du Monde. There is an iced latte and beignets waiting for her. She kisses her mom and dad and hugs them tightly. As she sits down her, beignets float to in the air. They make a game of catching them – when they are caught the transform into her favorite fruit._

_"Did you see that mom?"_

_"Amazing," her mother said smiling at her daughter proudly._

_"You have to try one," she says eating a handful of blackberries._

_"We have Penny, we've been here for a while – well we come to visit and we love the fruit."_

_"When you call me Penny I revert to a 10 year old girl," she says somewhat annoyed_

_"What do you want us to call you Baby Girl?" Her dad teased._

_"Lol, no but I like Garcia." "Where is he," she wondered aloud._

_"Waiting for you come to home," her mom said trying to remind her of something. Her dad gave her a look that was a slight warning and he said_

_"I remember a time you hate my last name," her dad said._

_"That was teen angst—I wanted to move to Seattle and be apart of the music movement."_

_"Punk Rock PG—"_

_"See that's a nick name I can get behind." she said as she grabbed another floating beignet, "you know you are the best and only father I know. I know, I didn't say it enough but it's true. – Here's to the best parents," she said as her coffee transformed to champagne. "Can we go dancing after this—there is always a band on Camp Street._

_"You have to get back Penelope—they're waiting for you."_

_"Come with me," she said and they appeared on Camp Street in front of a band._

_"How did we do that?" she said not knowing how they got to where they were_

_"We don't have a lot of time Penelope—don't you want to ask us something?"_

_"Yes, come with me."_

_"We can't," he mom said._

_"Well then I'm staying," she said as she started dancing and floating above the band. She asked her parent to join her but they were in the middle of an important conversation_

_Out of nowhere, she heard an ominous voice say, "…I love you and Chris has given up ice cream till you wake up. Of course he said that after he ate his sundae," he chuckled._


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

_Garica, Henry misses his godmother and I miss my best friend - I need you to wake up like yesterday. Derek is lost without you and he is definitely going to hurt one of these doctors if you don't wake up soon. I'm kidding, kind of... You're missing out on a week of good gossip, she tells her as she flips through the Us Weekly. The royal baby is due any day now and guess what it's a…. nope, this is Us Weekly cliffhanger style. Kanye and Kim just had their baby and its name is … shit, did you know that Robert and Kristen from twilight officially broke up… now he's dating… I can do this all day Garcia- please wake up sweetie. George Clooney broke up with the wrestler…_

* * *

_Hi Missy, she says putting lotion on her hands. Your babies miss you—Izzy, Chris and Derek she chuckled, at adding Derek to the list of babies. I know you are going to wake up but my son's faith is a bit bruised so please wake up and restore is faith in all things good and wonderful. Just wake up and give your family a kiss and I promise we will let you go back to sleep._

* * *

_Kitten, I bet you are tripping your face off in there. The cocktail the unsub gave would've had you floating on cloud nine for months—the bad news is the doctors have given you the Keith Richards special so it should be out of your system now and you are just having a flash backs. I miss you—you are like the daughter I never had and I wish I told you that before this – I keep thinking about our whiskey and scotch nights we had and how I look forward to them so much. You and me on the deck smoking a cigar. You're my little girl and I need you to wake up kitten._

* * *

_Penelope, you have to wake up and that isn't a request. You have changed my life so much since you came to the BAU and turned our gray skies blue and pink, or should I say magenta. You are a force and a light to be reckoned with. Because of you, Jack has a wonderful stepmom—because, you and Morgan showed me by example how to trust and love again. You are Beth's best friend and she loves you ferociously. We can't imagine a world without you in it and so please wake up healthy and full of love._

* * *

_We've always kept each other at arms distance—maybe it's because I've always been Team Morgan or it appeared that way but in reality, I've been Team Penelope. I may have come off harsh but I am bad with relationships and that's why Jackson and I didn't work out and I'm so afraid I am going to ruin what Reid and I have brewing. I'm good at beginnings but not middles and I fail at ends. But you are an amazing bevy of love. Maybe, I don't understand how you can maintain that seeing what we've seen and knowing what we know. I know I'm just rambling and not making any sense whatsoever but when you wake up I want you to show me how – you keep your light shining in spite of everything. I want you to wake up because I want us to be better friends—selfish I know but …_

* * *

_Wake the fuck up Sweet Pea! This isn't funny. I love you and I need you to wake up now. We had an arrangement remember – we didn't get married but you promised we would grow old together. I, Jackson Montgomery, was your Man of Honor. You owe me a tux and a party to rival the Hangover._

_When we broke up, you promised that we would watch our kids play at our beach house in Venice. I still don't have kids Penelope -so you have to come back and keep your word. My heart can't bear this world if you're not in it, Sweet Pea. I can't.. he said as he wiped his tears from her face. Please come back to me- he said as he squeezed her hand, Please._

* * *

_I love you darling simply and purely. You are my best friend and make me feel apart of the BAU family even though I'm not – our Saturday morning runs are the highlight of my week—a time where we can just be and relax. You hold so many of my secrets and I hold so many of yours. I want to tell you another one—I'm pregnant. I haven't even told Hotch, yet. I'm only 6 weeks and I want to wait until I'm 100% sure._

_I can't imagine what happened to you for the two days they had you and we are all nervous that you may not be you. But I know and I have faith that you will return to us just as you were. I love you and I need my best friend back._

* * *

_You know, I have a tendency to talk too much and over think things and then blurt out percentages, but, I love you Penelope Garcia – you are my sister from another mother, as you so often like to say and I need you to wake up and be healthy. Derek is so angry with God for taking and holding you that I'm going to do what he won't. He took her hand in his and said "Our Father, which art in heaven…._

* * *

_He just stared at her with tears in his eyes. He'd been crying for the past 6 days non-stop. He only cries in the room with her because he didn't want to scare his kids – he has to be strong for them. _

___You'd asked me to promise you something—what was it. This was a question he asked her every night. He would run down a list of things that he wish he could promise her with the hopes of her waking up… but she never did. The sounds of the machines lulled him to sleep and the last thing he said every night was Baby girl, I love you please come back to me._

_At nights like this, he fell asleep pressing her hand to his face. She didn't smell like herself anymore. She smelled like the hospital and he wished that is mom bought something she already worn in the clothes she packed—he wondered if smell was the first thing to change._

_Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night talking to his father, Dad, I know I haven't spoken to you for a while—but if you see my girl up there please send her back to me. I love her and our kids need her. Please dad._


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing!**

_Penelope and her parent are sitting outside on Royal Street, enjoying a sweet tea._

_"Do you want to see my kids," she asked as she pulled out her phone._

_"We've seen them baby,"_

_"Show us," her father said at the same time- squeezing her mother's hand. Be patient he whispered._

_She shows them pictures of her family Chris, Izzy, and Derek. As they finish looking at the last photo album, a jazz band appeared from nowhere playing a gospel song called Church on Time. Women and men were wearing black and dancing in the street. "What is going on?" she asked her parents._

_One of the trumpet players comes over to her and says, "it a funeral." He looks down at the pictures and asked "are those your kids?"_

_"Yes," she said proudly._

_"They're quite handsome – I'm William."_

_"I'm Penelope, this is my mother Isabelle and My father Steven."_

_"You should join the 2nd line and dance with us – it a New Orleans tradition," he gave them parasols and said, "come on—you can't visit New Orleans without second lining."_

_She and her parents joined the 2nd line and danced in the air until they reached the cemetery. It was as if they were Mary Poppins or something and they were sailing through the air with the band._

_William and her parents crossed the threshold of the cemetery and when she was about to – William said, "baby girl, I think you should head back now."_

_"Only if they come with me," she said defiantly eating an ice cream cone that appeared from nowhere_

_"Baby girl, you know they can't" he said patting he shoulder in a way that seemed so familiar, "But you should ask them."_

_"Ask them what?"_

_He touched her cone and turned it to a hurricane in one of those tall cups, and he said, "You know baby girl? We don't have much time."_

_She could hear a woman's voice above her say "I have faith in you, but Derek is scared it's been 12 days and no change. Come back to us, Missy."_

_"Who is that?"_

_"We know who that is," William said, as tears streamed down his face. When Penelope saw his tears, his face became so familiar. "Hey, Hey," she said searching her purse for a tissue, "there isn't any crying here."_

_"Oh, baby girl but there is," William said wiping his tears. He touched her arm and it was weird she saw herself looking at her parent's car. The guilt washed over her and she had tears in her eyes like William's—she remembered her question—it was a question she asked almost everyday of her life. It weighed her down and no matter how happy or bright she tried to be she could never shake the darkness that followed her._

_"Am I the reason?" She asked them, "Are you dead because of me?"_

_"Oh no Penny," he mother said reaching for her but unable to cross the threshold._

_"But if kept curfew you wouldn't have been on the street and the drunk driver…"_

_Her father interrupted her, "it was our time Penny. It's just that simple. It wasn't your fault. If it wasn't a car, it would have been a bus or a freak accident. It was your mother and I's time."_

_"But it isn't your time yet honey," her mom said sending her warmth, "and you need to get back to your family—they love you and have been praying for you."_

_"Dad, happy birthday. If you see my Penelope up there please send her back to me. She can be hard headed but I love her. God can't take you both from me," he said crying._

_She looked up to see who was crying when William said, "Baby girl, my son is waiting on you."_

_She went to hug them goodbye and she could only touch their hands as she started floating up—William saying take good care of my boy was the last thing she heard before the pain became overwhelming._

Shit she thought—my head hurts so bad, I must be dying, she thought as she floated towards the sky – then she heard a voice mumbling about lying and 14%... Wait is that Spencer, "14% of what Spencer?" She tried to say, but her head … Christ she said as her eyes tried to focus on the person in front of her.

* * *

_**Finally, right!**_

_**Thank you so much for reading and following -special shot outs to my homies- evergrrl09, foxy11814, jenny crum, ceecee333, doralupin86, mh96, kimd33, kirarakitty08, went, MooninLove07, and Maxxbaby! Thank you guys for your speedy reviews that always make me feel warm and fuzzy inside!**_


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

_William said, "Baby girl, my son is waiting on you.."_

_She went to hug them goodbye and she could only touch their hands as she started floating up—take good care of my boy was the last thing she heard before the pain became overwhelming._

Shit she thought—my head hurts so bad, I must be dying, she thought as she floated towards the sky – then she heard a voice mumbling about lying and 14%... Wait is that Dr. Spencer Reid, "14% of what Spencer?" She tried to say but her head … Christ she said as her eyes tried to focus.

* * *

**An Hour Before**

Dr. Steele comes in to Penelope's room, "Can I talk to you Derek."

"Sure," he said, "Reid stay with her, man—and don't eat my sandwich"

"It's been 14 days and there hasn't been any change," she said matter of factly, "I think we should start thinking about long term care options."

"What?" he said surprised. She held his hand and continued, "we have a visiting rep from one of the long term care agencies in DC, here today and she would like to go over your care options."

"I'm not giving up on her," he said angrily.

"We're not," Dr. Steele said, "we're just planning for all possible future outcomes."

A woman joined their conversation; "Ms. Barnes can go over them with you in better detail."

When he turned around, he saw a familiar face, Tamara Barnes.

"Derek," she said with a question in her voice, "What are you doing here?"

Dr. Steele guided them towards an empty room by Penelope's and let them talk.

Desi, Fran, Rossi, and Emily were walking back from the cafeteria when they saw Derek siting on a table holding the edges while in an embrace with Tamara Barnes, she had her arms around him tightly as she rubbed his back.

"Who is that?" Desi asked protectively.

"Trouble," Beth said pissed, as she joined them. Emily poked her and said "a friend of Derek's."

Back in the room, Tamara says, "Tell me what happened."

He told her about the ambulance ride and admittance to the hospital. He didn't have the strength to discuss the kidnapping and what Penelope endured.

She explained when a patient remains unchanged for 10 days the hospital has to recommend a long term care facility because the road to recovery may be an arduous one.

"You have to be prepared that she may not fully recover," she said comforting him.

"She has to," he said stubbornly.

"I know," she said caressing his face, "There are a few great facility in DC, that specializes in cases like these. I represent a few long term and rehabilitation clinics. Just review these documents with your family," she said gesturing outside, "If you find that you need them… I can help."

She kissed his cheek and the corner of his mouth – and Derek being Derek didn't notice because he was lost in the idea of long term care.

"Come on your family is back," she taking his hand and leading him outside.

"Hi Tamara," Emily said as snotty as possible, Reid poked her; Tamara said, "I'm so sorry to hear about Penelope – I'm a long term care and rehabilitation rep for the facilities in the area and Dr. Steele wanted me to talk to Derek about his options."

"I'm Derek's Mom, Fran, nice to meet you," Fran introduced her to the family and she began to share the information she shared with Derek.

Tamara ended her talking points with, "As I told Derek," she said patting his back, "it isn't giving up on a full recovery but opening yourself up to all the option the medical community has to offer."

"I have a few more families to meet with. I am so sorry we had to meet like this Derek," she said rubbing his right bicep, "If you need anything call me."

She gave him a hug and walked away.

Before any one could ask him anything, Derek asked, "Reid can you take a walk with me."

"Sure," he said wondering why he was being singled out.

Derek looked over at his family and friends and said, "I will be back in a few—watch her."

* * *

Beth, JJ Emily and Des adjourned to a girl conference in the corner of the waiting room.

"I just wanted to kick her ass for Penelope,"

"Simmer down, Beth," JJ chuckled.

"I'm serious, she always buzzing around and I don't expect Derek to notice it now but," she turned to Des and said "if you need any thing call me," while she felt Des's bicep dramatically, "She just get's my blood boiling."

"She is kinda … argh, I don't like her either but I don't like her or Stella," Emily said

"Stella," Des asked

"A long story - your brother should tell you," JJ said as if she was the boss.

Beth sighed, "I know, I shouldn't but he is a great guy who fell for the wrong girl—it's just that simple. I've been giving him updates - per Rossi and Hotch's request of 'course, and they've become really good friends. But Tamara blatantly ignores a wedding ring without gilt or pause and that is why I want to kick her ass,"

"I like you – you're feisty," Des said smiling at Beth.

"She is pretty awesome," JJ said, "but please don't ever get mad at me."

"Or me," Emily said feigning fear.

* * *

As they walked out of the hospital, Derek said, "I think you're rubbing off on me – statistics comfort me. Statically how does it look? Should I think about long-term facility? Am I giving up on her?"

For the first time, since he was crowned boy genius did he give Morgan biased facts. Reid knew each day that she didn't wake up the chances of her walking up diminished. He knew that the chances of her being mentally sound were less than 17%. He knew all the numbers but he also knew that from his experience with Tobias, that there was a power in the unknown and the unseen… and his friend needed to be injected with a dose of faith—and if it came in the form of skewed statistics -so be it. Reid fed Morgan statistical faith.

When Morgan was back, at normal levels, they returned to her room and Dr. Steele was there, checking her vitals. "Hi," she said to them as they entered Penelope's room, where her brothers were sitting with her.

Steele asked Derek, Preston, and Parker to step outside; Reid stayed in the room.

"I wanted to apologize for the way I introduced the idea of long term care. It was tacky – I'm new to the hospital and in Seattle, we don't have separate facilities like that. They all stay in one hospital and I should have introduced you to the rep days ago. I know the idea of long-term care can be scary and it wasn't my intention to..

At the same time, in Penelope's room Reid was talking to Penelope, "I just lied to Derek for you— he was losing hope and the hospital wants him to consider long term health care because you won't wake up. We need you to wake up, now, Garcia. Chris and Izzy need their mom and Derek needs you—he pretends that he is strong but I know he cries for you every night. How can our world function properly if your not in it? I love you, Penelope and I… I know the chance of this even resonating with you is less than 14%- but if a part of you can hear me. Wake up!" He watched to see if his speech motivated her to move and he realized that he is no Mel Gibson and this isn't Braveheart. A tear came to his eye as he bent down to kiss her forehead gently. He turned and headed for his chair.

"Christ," she moans

Reid jumps up out of his skin and turns around, "Penelope?"

She moans again, "Fuck! Frack! Fuck! My head is killing me"

In two quick steps, Reid is out of her room and calling Dr. Steele and Derek frantically. "She woke up!"

They dash to the room. As they enter, she looks up and is terrified.

"Where am I?"

"Baby girl, you are in the hospital." He said staring at her in amazement.

She looks at him confused, "I can surmise that much," she said with a spoonful of sass.

Two nurses rush in and Dr. Steel turned to her brothers, Reid, and Derek, "We need to run a few test. Please step outside."

"She woke up!" Derek said to everyone bouncing off the walls. "Where is my mom?" he asked looking for her.

"Fran and Sarah, just left to take Chris and Izzy to dinner," Hotch said.

Derek called his mom and let her know that she woke up.

Thirty minutes later, Dr. Steele came out and said, "Derek, can I talk to you in private?"

"You can tell all of us—she is our family," Derek said squeezing Des's hand.


	32. Chapter 32

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**  
_

* * *

_Thirty minutes later, Dr. Steele came out and said, "Derek can I talk to you in private."_

"_You can tell all of us—she is our family," Derek said._

* * *

"Your wife appears to have dissociative amnesia, when a person has this form of amnesia they block out certain information, usually associated with a stressful or traumatic event, leaving her unable to remember important personal information. With this disorder, the degree of memory loss goes beyond normal forgetfulness and includes gaps in memory for long periods of time or of memories involving the traumatic event. She has a mix of both. We still assumed she will have some degree of PTSD – depending on the level, she may require more hospitalization. Obviously, we can't assess the PTSD because she can't remember the incident."

"The drug cocktail they gave her, ecstasy, narcotics, and benzodiazepine drugs could produce a dream like state for her mentally making it hard to distinguish dreams from reality—this could be a problem with memory recovery." The doctor saw the perplexed look in their face and clarified some more. "This will only effect memory recovery not anything else. She may think the kidnapping was a dream – it's hard to say now. With psychotherapy she will regain her memory but we don't have a time line."

"The good news is she is physically fine, she has healed nicely and we are giving her pain medication for the aches. We were concerned about the Vagus nerve damage but all of her sensory receptors are functioning as expected and we will run a series of test tomorrow to confirm. We will also come up with a treatment plan."

"Her brain functions properly the only problem, I'm sorry I should've said this first when I was discussing the amnesia but I was just so excited that she woke up—Her actually memory is very blurred. It's like the dissociative amnesia shut down 10 city blocks in her brain. In addition, the ripple effect of those streets being closed is traffic – bumper-to-bumper traffic. Which shuts down neighboring streets. The ripple effects of the amnesia is that She thinks it's 2006 or 2007."

"What?" the group murmured.

"This is apart of the amnesia—but let me be clear, it will come back—only in 6% of the cases does it not. The parts that may be permanently lost are the ones induced by the drug cocktail because she may not be able to distinguish the illusion from reality. It could be very murky for her, but she does remember you all to some degree"

Derek rubbed his head "what does she remember," he asked.

"She remembers working the cases, teaching, California, being engaged, and bits and pieces peppered in. I'm not a psychiatrist but our on duty psychiatrist is talking to her now. She is up for seeing you all but don't overload her with stories of the past or the kidnapping. I think the psychiatrist should tell her what happened with you present, Derek, so we can use it as a part of our evaluation. They will probably want to do that tomorrow morning."

"I know it's a lot to take in—do you have any questions?"

"If she thinks it's 2007 do we have to act like it is?" Beth asked.

"No, she understands that she lost time because she sustained a head injury."

Dr. Steele looked at the faces before her and she knew they need time to process what she said. "I will go check on her and give you all time to discuss things." As she walks away, they start trying to piece together the information Dr. Steele has told them.

"Where were we in 2006?" Emily asked.

"She just got here, I think," Preston said

"We weren't engaged then" Derek said puzzled- wondering how that piece fit in.

"We were," Jackson said oddly, " kinda engaged that is."

"No, you guys were married" JJ said

"Actually, You were dating at the time," Reid said, "but secretly, I think and if it's to the date – I would say it was before you started dating Jordan. Dr. Steele said it was blurred so who knows what she will recall—I am sure she remembers you. She said she knew she loved you when she met you at Pete's."

Derek smiled as that memory played in his head, "she did say that, didn't she. I'm concerned about Chris and Izzy –they're going to want to see their mom and she won't know who they are."

"Derek, She ready for you."

Derek walks and they all hang back.

"Can you come with me—I "

* * *

More to come today! The chapter was sooo long I had to break it up :)

I'm so glad she's awake :)


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

"_Derek, She ready for you."_

_Derek walks and they all hang back._

"_Can you come with me—I"_

* * *

Sure, they all said in some way shape or form.

Penelope's room becomes filled with questioning eyes – until her brothers come in. "Preston, Parker," she screeched! They give her a big hug, "so this is what it takes for you to come to the east coast," she teased, "I guess, I should bump my head more often," she said laughing but no one cracked a smile except for the petite brunette in the room. Penelope wondered who she was. "I guess it's too soon for accident jokes," she said, as Preston got teary eyed.

"Hey, I'm fine," she said, "It would take a lot more than that to get rid of me."

"We almost lost you P,"

She sat up taller, moved her legs into Indian style, and said, "But you didn't Preston. I love you," she opened up her arms and he hugged her again… "Now, not too tight... I do have a fractured rib in there."

When the hug was over, she took in her brother Parker. She ran her hands through Parker's hair and said "I've never been so happy to see your face- I hope I've aged better than you," she teased. He started to tear as well and she said, "weeping willow trees, if you start crying, then I start crying and how much fun will that be?"

Parker chuckled, "somethings never change."

The doctor begins to introduce everyone, as her brothers rise from her bed.

"I know who they are – I think - Derek, Dr. Reid, Rossi, Hotchner, Emily, JJ and Jackson. It is so good to see you Jackson," she said smiling ear to ear. "Who are you? I don't remember you- I'm sorry," she said to the brunette woman.

"I'm Beth, Hotch's wife."

"Nice to meet you," Penelope said as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Penelope, your husb-" and the doctor was interrupted by a woman with auburn hair and a small child.

"Mommy, Mommy!" Chris said running into the room.

He tries to jump on the bed, Derek stops him, "Chris come here. Your mom—"

"It's fine," Penelope said, for the first time she wondered how she looked, was she going to scare this little guy with her cuts and bruises. Then it hit her-I'm a mom she said to herself as she looked at him and touched her stomach. She was afraid to touch him as if he would disappear or she would hurt him. She put her free hand under her chin and said, "Hey Chris!"

"Mommy, I missed you. I'm glad your better." He said giving her a hug—she didn't know how to accept it at first but he held her so ferociously she kinda gave in. "He looks just like you," She said looking at this little person on her bed with wonder. She looked down at her hand and saw the indentation and tan line of a ring—were they married? Derek sat down at the edge of her bed.

"Well almost better," she told Chris

Oh, he mouthed, "Where does it hurt?" he asked with eyes full of concern.

"My head and," and quicker than a flash of light, he kissed her head. She started to tear up. She made this human being, she thought, and now he is sitting on her bed. She stared at him with her eyes filled with surprise, amazement, and wonder. Chris said, "Awe, man it still hurts," as he wiped her tears away.

She smiled at his innocents and nodded.

"Lets sing the boo boo song together."

"I hurt my head and forgot a lot of things – I misplaced my memories – like how you misplace your favorite shoes or toy. They're in there but I just have to find them. So," she said regaining her composure, "can you sing it to me?" She said taking in her child.

"Sure!

I

I will be king

And you

You will be queen

Though nothing will

Drive them away

We can beat them

Just for one day

We can be Heroes

We can be Heroes

For ever and ever

What d'you say

Yes, we can all be heroes,"

She smiled, "feeling better already—David Bowe always does the trick"

"Who?"

"Chris, come on down,"

"But she just woke up and she lost her memories," and it was as if he realized what that meant he turned to her and asked, "Do you remember me?"

"Of course little man," she said not wanting to damage him—but when she noticed his frown, "I mean big man." He smiled from ear to ear and said, "yup, she does—it's ice cream time, right daddy"

"How about we start with getting your mom a coffee," Fran said

"Green Tea would be awesome, Ms.?"

Fran was shocked and said "Ms. Morgan- I mean Fran Morgan—Derek's Mom"

"Thanks Fran and Bye, Chris - how about one more kiss for the road."

He hopped on the bed and gave her a kiss, "I love you mommy"

"Love you too."

As she watched him go she said—"he is amazing."

Derek asked, "You remember Chris?"

"No, -but I didn't want to scare him." She looked over at Hotch and asked, "So what happened, Hotch? I thought the tech didn't go on site for cases."

"We can tell you tomorrow after you've had your psych, motor, and cognitive test," Derek said answering for Hotch.

She looked up at Derek and said "Psych and cognitive test- are they afraid I might have mental or motor injuries?" She said looking at Dr. Steele. "I mean we just did a bunch of test right?" In typical Penelope form she started to ramble because she was anxious-"I mean, I feel fine and normal except not remembering a few years but I feel like me. I mean," she said looking at them "am I me? Or am I like Penelope 2.0?"

"Do I seem like me?" She said looking at her brothers then Jackson, "you know me best?"

He smiled and said, "Penny, stop freaking out you are just fine."

"Penny," she said grimacing, "That bad huh?" She said being able to read Jackson like the back of her hand.

"No," Derek said caressing her hand; "we just want to make sure you are mentally & physically fit—you were out for 14 days and we want to be 100% sure," he said trying to assure her and himself.

"You look just like Chris?" like a spitting image, she thought, "How long have we been married? Did we get married because of Chris?" She said wondering aloud.

He quickly inhaled air to cover his shock and said, "No why?"

"I'm sorry, she said grabbing his hand, "I was just thinking aloud, handsome, I didn't mean to offend you – I'm just surprised that's all- I always hated the idea of marriage – I mean not hate -but marriage resistant" she chuckled but when no one else laughed she realized her joke wasn't funny and she should try to be who they expected.

"I mean it feels like we met yesterday- well not yesterday but a few months ago right—I remember dinner at Rossi's pasta carbonara with a full bodied chianti, and salsa lessons. JJ being pregnant, Clooney, Stanley Kubrick movies with Reid, but it doesn't connect –it's like it is out of order but I guess – I'm sorry, maybe—I'm just out of order" and I guess losing your memory isn't funny no matter how you slice it, she thought as she twirled the ends of her hair.

"Hey," Derek said, "just relax. We all love you and the memories will come back," he shrugged, "when they come back—maybe you should get some rest baby girl."

The team came over and gave her kisses and hugs as they left.

"Jackson can you stay for a bit," she asked as they left the room.


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: I own nothing… still.**

* * *

Emily, "So that is Penelope 2.0?"

"She seems more peppier," Hotch said

"Livelier" Beth said, "as if she was younger."

"Goes to show you age is all in your head," Rossi said, "a secret I've always known"

"Rossi is actually right – they did a study on –"

"I'm just glad she is awake and talking," JJ said interrupting Reid.

"I know it's not the time but what about the third unsub?" Emily asked

* * *

"Jackson can you stay for a bit," she asked as they left the room.

"Sure," he said siting at the end of her bed.

"Come closer," she said as pulled him in for a hug. She buried her face in his chest and started to cry. "Hey Sweet Pea," he said rubbing her back. "Hey," he said, "everything is going to be fine." She looked up at him and he said "actually better than fine." He played in her hair. "How can you be sure?" "What if I never remember anything or I don't wake up tomorrow or if I fall and go into a catatonic state."

"I mean what happened to me? What happened to us?"

"Well the doctors want you to get rest and they will tell you everything tomorrow after you eat some crappy food and relax." He teased.

"What about us? You never came to DC, huh? I knew you wouldn't. You can be so stubborn," she said very dejected.

"Hey, I did come to DC and you were happy and in love with Derek. You still are happily in love with him."

"Where you upset?" she asked, "did you duel for my honor? He seems like he would win?" she said playfully baiting him.

He smiled and caressed her cheek, "I was your man of honor."

"Really? I can totally see that! Tell me more-What do I do? Do I still work at the BAU or did I return to teaching?"

He filled her in and made sure to avoid all of the angst—her memories could fill in those lines later.

* * *

As the doctor told Derek the next steps, he watched her talk to Jackson and he never felt so grateful in his life. She was awake and talking—he was over the moon with happiness. While the doctor was talking, he mentally thanked god for taking care of her and he promised in that moment to be grateful for every moment they had together.

Dr. Steele, "Tomorrow 10 we will tell her the details of her accident. I will need you to be here at 930 to talk with the psychologist. 1130 we will test her motor skills and reflexes. Lunch at 1pm. Physical and sensory testing till 3pm. She will be pretty tuckered out but you can bring dinner in if you want."

"If all goes well we hope to have a timeline for her release created by the end of the day. Erin Straus wants her to see an FBI psychologist when she returns home and we will talk to her general practitioner as well."

"I'm still in shock," he said, "but I will be here bright and early."

"Miracles happen every day" she said smiling looking at Penelope and Jackson laugh.

* * *

As Derek entered the room, the laughter ended. "What's so funny?" he asked

"Jackson was telling me gossip about UCLA—down right shocking," she said laughing.

"I should head out and let you guys catch up."

"Will you come back tomorrow?"

"Of course"

"Can you sneak me in a croissant and coffee?"

"On it- operation croissant"

He kissed her forehead and she said, "I love you."

"Right back atcha" he said deflecting the emotions he saw in her eyes, "Derek, you have a minute?" He wanted to tell him what they chatted about so they would be on the same page.

He nodded. "I'll be right back Penelope," said Derek as he walked out with Jackson.

As Jackson walked out, Spencer & JJ walked in and sat on the edge of the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been to hell and back," she said smiling feebly.

"What did you name your little peanut?"

She smiled and said, "Henry—you're his godmother."

"Really?" She said

"And I'm his godfather," Reid said.

"So were like besties? What else?"

They kept it light- Reid told her about their trip to the Jazzfest, while JJ updated her on all celebrity gossip.

"I'm kinda pooped. I think I may take a nap."

They were kissing her goodbye as Derek entered.

"Hey," she said, as the door closed behind JJ and Spencer.

"How are you feeling?"

"The pain killers are starting to work."

"You're insanely attractive. You must beat the women off with a stick,"she said, forgetting that they were married – " am I trained in tactical like you?"

"I showed you a few moves- why?"

"Because, I must have to kick a lot of women's asses for just the looks they give you," she said laughing at her own joke.

"You made me a one woman man," he said laughing. Her eyes had this youthful glow and her face was full of new expressions or maybe he just forgot them since he hadn't seen them in such a long time. "I didn't know that—you don't believe in marriage."

"I'm sure it didn't take much convincing, handsome—I probably asked you," she said flirting with him, "you could make a girl think the sky was purple if you wanted to – I do remember a few things," she said smiling. "I remember, Jackson planned on dragging me kicking and screaming down the aisle, but then I got arrested but you know all of that right?"

He nodded.

"So we have a son."

"And a daughter."

"Really? Do you have pictures?" He sat next to her and they went through the pictures on his phone. It was so hard for her to imagine her as a woman who ran races and was athletic… she did like the body—being a size 8 was awesome since she hadn't been that size since college. She couldn't wait to dress this new body, she thought. She noticed that her mind forced her to make everything light as if there was a monster lurking somewhere—she was freaked out that they wouldn't tell her what happened but she knew she should be glad to be awake. What if she didn't wake up tomorrow and she was back in a coma or worse. All of this thinking made her exhausted and she felt a headache coming on. She didn't want to alert anyone, especially Derek who seemed to be so worried. Instead, she decided to rest her eyes.

She fell asleep on his shoulder.

He fell asleep next to her—it was the best sleep he had in weeks. Thank you dad he whispered as he sailed to sleep.

* * *

_**Chapters 32-34 was supposed to be one chapter- and I decided to break it up cliffhanger style, for my girl Jenny Crum! Off to write the next chapter of Drowning in Chocolate!**_


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

He woke up next to her and she had more color in her face then yesterday. This was the first time that he was able to look at her. She was wearing a black tank top and bedtime shorts. The bruises on her shoulder were fading; and cut on her lip - barely there. He thought about the case in Tennessee – he never wanted her in that kind of danger again and yet here we are. She snuggled closer to him and he knew she was going to wake up soon. He held her tighter wishing for more time before the world started spinning again. He started thinking about the unsub from the video. How was he going to protect her? He knew Elle and her team were working the case but now that she's awake we need that SOB behind bars. Her hands started twitching like she was playing the piano and he knew that she would wake up in 4 -3- 2-1.

"Morning Handsome—I mean husband," she said smiling.

Some things never change, he thought, her fingers always tapped imaginary keys before her eyes opened.

"Hey Sweetheart,"

"How are you feeling—any aches or pain?"

"Just a bit, not as bad as yesterday – and before you ask – no new memories?"

"I'll know when you get your memories back."

"How?"

"I'm a profiler, I'll see changes in the way you hold yourself and speak"

"Well Mr. Profiler, when can I go home?"

"We should know by the end of the day—they think another week or so but we'll see."

"A week," she groaned "but, —I hate hospitals," she said getting out of bed and walking towards the window. She stretched and he could see a bruise on her torso. "When do I have my first thingy, maybe I can go for a walk or something stretch my legs."

"You can't leave," he said in a knee jerk bossy tone, "you can't go anywhere by yourself."

"Now why is that, daddy?" she said full of sass, "Last time I checked this was a free country or did that change in the last 7 years," she said with her hand on her hip.

"You have a few test today—you're booked till late afternoon." He said sitting down in the chair next to her bed.

"Uh, huh-You don't have to baby sit me—I'll be fine," she said taking him out of his seat and walking him towards the door, "I'm sure you need to shower or something before this my first meeting with the psychologist. You don't smell yet but I can see the potential and you're scruffy- but don't shave—because I think I like you scruffy. And on the way back," she said with him a few inches from the doorway, "Can you sneak in an ice cream cone—I'm craving something sweet."

He gave her a questioning look and she said, "Really."

As she pushed him out the door she said, "I need to shower and get dressed."

She closed the door and he started laughing to himself.

"What?" Reid said—"she is feisty and bossy like," … he said smiling to himself, "when I met her."

* * *

Derek returned about 30 minutes later; Reid and Jackson were in her room, playing on his tablet.

"This is amazing- can I play with it till the end of the day?" She asked as she bit her croissant.

"Sure,"

"Hey Husband."

"Are you ready to head to the Dr. Grey's office?"

"That sounds ominous… yes, I'm ready." She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt with a dash of basic make-up.

They sat in Dr. Grey's office after introductions, "Ok team of truth revealers—what happened." This question was posed to Derek, Dr. Steele, and Dr. Grey.

Derek explained the stalking and abduction and as she took in the details, she felt as if it happened to someone else. She was drugged and held captive for 2 days. He found her with a knife in her back in a warehouse. The story sounded like a made for TV movie – not like her life.

She got up and began to pace, "was I—" she couldn't even get the question out, "was I sexually assaulted?"

"The rape kit came back negative so – you weren't forced sexually," Dr. Grey replied

"But I could have been, compliant—it could have been willing if I was on all of those drugs and - and" she asked.

"We interrogated the two men who abducted you and they did not assault you –"

"But there is a third unsub, and we don't have him."

"Yes." Derek responded, "we are looking for him and we will find him."

"Ok," she said as her pacing came to a halt, "that's why you didn't want me going for a walk this morning." She started to feel dirty and Derek could see some of that Penelope glow disappear.

She returned to her seat, "do we know why – why me?"

Derek went on to explain how it was related to an old case. They went on to explain her injuries in detail. How her body needs to heal. She was overwhelmed with information and it was just too much for her to hear. She placed her hand in Derek's and asked the most important question—"we will find him right?"

"Yes, I promise you that."

The glow returned to her face and she looked to the doctors and said, "So what can I do? I can't really do a lot because of the fractured rib—and I have 4 weeks of recovery. Can I dance? Teach? Have sex—if so what positions should we avoid? What other test do we have scheduled today and when can I go home?" She took out her tablet and prepared to take notes.

The room chuckled at her flurry of questions but answered them one by one.

* * *

When he came back at four Dr. Steele was wrapping up, "we want to keep you for one or two more days then you can continue your psychological treatment at home." "Great!" Penelope smiled!

"What the good news" Derek asked.

"Her memories are almost all back and she can continue the psych work at home. We want to observe her motor skills for another day or so. Then we will release he into your custody."

"Also," Penelope added, "the nerve damage has an upshot- I have almost perfect pitch musically—Karaoke Penelope is in the house!"

When the doctor left the room, Derek asked, "So your memories are back?" Her demeanor hasn't changed so he was surprised at this revelation.

"Now, don't be mad—I may have embellished what I remember…. so I can leave,"

"Penelope," he said as if she were a child with her hand caught in the cookie jar.

"They wanted to keep me here till they were all back but that could be months and if I'm around my own things, sleeping in my own bed, doing my normal routine, the memories may just come back quicker"

"How did you fool them?" he asked

"—She asked me a few things and I told them bits and pieces about current events, and our family. When they stumped me, I said it was hazy.

"Penelope you," he couldn't believe he had to explain why this was wrong to her, "we have to tell Dr. Steele your real status"

"No we don't – I want to leave this room and I just feel itchy being here," she said, "I was tortured and being in here is like part two," she said very dramatically.

He looked at her and couldn't help but smile, this is the same technique Chris uses on him.

"Ok, I don't remember the torture yet, but it could take years for me to remember and then what - I can go home. Plus, I remember a few more things kinda well not really but, — I work at University of Pennsylvania teaching Computer Science—I should get back to that too before they never offer me tenure."

"Nice try Baby Girl," he said, "I know Jackson told you that yesterday."

She looked up at him and said, "I read somewhere that just the act of sex can strengthen synaptic nerves thus making my memories come back faster. Granted there are certain positions we can't do but I do remember a few that we can do and what you were good at" she said smiling, "I mean I'm open to all forms of healing aren't you?"

"Yes," he said, "but-"

"Then come show me," she said leaning over and pulling him closer. As her lips touched his, he was surprised by her forcefulness. She nipped his bottom lip and when he opened his mouth, she dived in. He didn't know where to touch or hold her fearing that he may hurt her that he put his hands on the bed right next to her hips. She lowered her self to the pillows taking him with her and she started to kiss his scruffy face. She kissed his neck as she reached up to feel his pecks—as he explored his chest she whispered between kisses "now this I do remember," she said as she returned to his lips. A laughed rumbled in is throat as he touched her hair gently and kissed her back. He cupped her face as feelings of excitement and sheer joy washed over him.

Then they heard someone clear their throat and say, "some things never change."

She groaned a bit and whispered, "crap we have to try harder next time—I remember nothing."


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

_Then they heard someone clear their throat and say some things never change._

_She groaned a bit and whispered, "crap we have to try harder next time—I remember nothing."_

* * *

Derek laughed and turned to the team and Jackson.

"The good news is that I fibbed and I can go home on Wednesday—the amazing news is—I'm a karaoke rock star!"

"Please do tell?" Jackson said intrigued.

"The silver lining of this whole torture –kidnapping ordeal is that I can sing and play pitch perfect. The damaged to my Vagus nerve over corrected my hearing so I can play and sing. Which means I can kick you arse on the mic."

"Fibbed?" Rossi asked.

"Just a tiny white lie we don't have to get into right now. So where are we with the third unsub?"

They explained how they believe it is Leif Cornell Westinghouse. He is virtually untouchable because he has a steel tight alibi. Elle and her team are working the case and the BAU has been working remotely. They explained how they hoped she would be able to identify the third unsub when she woke up.

She noticed a tall attractive blond man standing outside of her room. He was wearing all black except for a blue t-shirt that matched his eyes. "Who is that?" she asked aloud. Hotch's wife joined him and she gave him a hug.

"I would not let him around my wife, Hotch," she teased.

Emily smirked to hide her inappropriate chuckle. JJ refused to look at Emily because she would bust out laughing on principle and she knew it wasn't a laughing matter, she thought, only Penelope.

Derek looked up and saw Stella outside talking to Beth, "That's Stella, he is a professor at University of Penn. You guys teach a class."

"You don't like him," she asked, "I mean you have a funny look on your face."

"Nah, he's cool. I'll be right back," he said as he walked out the room.

"Ok, so does Pete's still have karaoke nights?"

"I should be home on Friday. Saturday you guys should come over for dogs and beers! It should be warm during the day at least that's what my iPhone says – I can't believe all the apps on this thing. Fran will you stay with us for a couple of days till I get my bearings?"

"Most definitely."

"Great and I totally want to go shopping," she said smiling.

"So what did you guys do today?"

It was weird to watch this Penelope be so full of life and energy—not like she wasn't before but she seemed like she was going to bust out a cartwheel at any moment. Everything was so new and exciting for her. She has this child like quality, Reid thought.

Derek greeted Stella outside of her room.

"Stella,"

"Derek, Hi, how is she?"

Derek looked at him and was wondering what the fuck was he supposed to do. He had to accept that he could not remove him from her life. Penelope isn't in love with him and she never was- she called him a symptom of a problem. He looked into the room and saw his animated wife – at that moment, he vowed never to let a symptom like Stella arise again.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come but I thought – maybe we could let the past be in the past—I've moved on." Derek was still looking at him and like clockwork the images from the DVD popped into his head and he felt himself get hot under the color. God, this was going to be hard.

"She is fine but her memory has huge holes. She hasn't recovered her memories from University of Penn., yet but she will," he continued, "We want to keep her around faces she should know because you never know what may trigger a memory."

"Oh," he said dejectedly, "Well could you give her these," he said passing him a bouquet of snap dragons and a small box, "I'm really sorry – I just –"

Derek interrupted him, "You really helped us and you have always been a good friend to her. She knows about the kidnapping and everything. with that said, we've been trying to keep the conversations light and easy."

"Come on," he said gesturing to the door.

Stella came in and she smiled at him and said hi!

Some of the folks cleared the room and only Derek, Emily, and Stella remained

"I just wanted to come down and check in on you," he said as he passed her the bouquet.

"These are gorg! Thank you so much," she said

"So Stella," she liked to use stranger's names in a sentence right away. It helped her retain the new names, "how is the class going?"

He smiled and sat at the edge of the bed. She continued, "Derek, told me we teach a class together at Penn."

He updated her on all of her classes including his. Franklin, your department chair, told them you were sick and they made you this. They made her a voice activated espresso machine. He set up the machine and showed he the magic of her students.

"Ask for a drink," he told her, "I think I set up right- you're normally the mechanic in duo."

"Latte, please"

Like magic the machine started making her a latte with two sugars.

"Amazeballz!" she screeched.

"Do you want one?" she asked Emily and Derek and they passed.

"Come on guys—it's science and lifestyle merged into one- where's Reid? He would appreciate this."

"Tell them that I love it! So how long have we been friends?"

"Four or five year." He said still amazed by her memory loss.

"So, do we hang out – like double dates, do you have kids? Do you karaoke?"

Emily laughed and Penelope asked "what?"

"No but you, Beth, and I, run together sometimes. Check out the farmer's market – crack of dawn Saturday morning stuff."

"That is the one thing I can't wrap my mind around—is running. I was so anti-athletic. It must be something I picked up to lose the baby weight or something. Maybe we can join you guys when my rib heals. Derek, do you still run?"

"Yeah,"

"Well I don't want to hog all of your time," he said getting up, "I am so happy you are well" he said.

"I should be back home in 2 days—stop by ok," she said opening her arms up beckoning him for a hug.

"Ok," he said for the first time feeling nothing but relief and friendship towards her.

"If we are home by Saturday you should come over for hot dogs and beer. "

"Will do," he said smiling at her knowing he wasn't welcomed.

Derek walked him out of the room. "Don't worry," Stella said, "I won't show up on Saturday—when she get's her memory back she will laugh at that."

Derek stuffed his hands in his pockets and said, "you can if you want" he paused for a few seconds and continued, "you are her friend."

They continued to talks while Sarah, Desi, Fran, and the team watched.

"Is that the guy she was –" Desi and Jackson say at the same time.

"Yes," Beth said

"He's hot—she knows how to pick'em?" Desi said looking at Jackson, "two for two I don't include Derek in the hotness math"

"How is Derek not killing him," Sarah said

"Because he isn't insecure about their love anymore," Reid said matter of factly.

"He helped us with the case and he truly cares about her," Rossi said.

"But Derek is—" Desi said.

"Let it alone," Fran said, "your brother was really upset about it and if he can let it go - so should we. Just drop it."

"But," Desi protested but then Sarah nudged her and she dropped it.

Derek patted him on the back and said "See you Saturday if all goes well and bring Jenn."

"What was that?" JJ asked as she returned from the caf with Penelope's brothers.

"Penelope invited him over for beer and dogs, not a big thing," Derek said, "More importantly can we pow-wow with Straus tomorrow – this guys is still out there and I think the safest place for her to be is in a hospital. She wants to go back to work and do all of these seemingly normal things but I can't let her out of my sight till we get him. She not taking the kidnapping seriously because she is more concerned about her memory loss than the psychopath out to get her and on top of all that I'm trying not to scare her so – we need a game plan."

"I'll set up a conference call with Elle's team tomorrow," JJ said.

"Great."


	37. Chapter 37

_**Yah! My inspiration is back! Sorry for the radio silence but I couldn't motivate :)**_

_**We are back and I still own nothing**_

* * *

The Morgan's yard was filled with friends, family, and good music. The sun was strong for October; Rossi and Fran were playing grill master, while folks gathered in small circles and chatted. Bits and pieces of her memory were coming back. As soon as she walked into their home, she remembered being pregnant. _Derek reading books to Chis in her belly, and running out for hot dogs in the middle of the night._ When did she become so obsessed with them—it seemed like yesterday, she was a vegetarian. She remembered crying during the AT&T commercials because the toddlers were so freakin cute. The memories seemed out of place because there isn't anything anchoring it down. It was like her memories were floating balloons in her head- when she caught one she had to release another. Sometimes she wished that she would just wake up and remember everything, because she was too wacky as Penelope 2.0.

These are her friends, she reminded herself as she looked at them—but she only felt herself around her brothers and Jackson. She often caught Beth looking at her longingly and she wished she could remember her.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked holding her by her waist.

"Yeah, It is weird what my brain remembers," she said, "I keep on getting bits and pieces of a picture but not the whole- I mean, I would rather start all over again than get these disjointed flashes."

"Any thing new?"

"No, just memories of being pregnant with Chris, but I know I should feel something like warmth or pride or maybe being scared but it feels like it happened to someone else and I'm looking in. Like, I'm watching me on TV."

She turned to him, "I kinda hoped that I would walk in the door and the memories would wash over me and we could resume our lives but – but what if I never remember anything or the man who attacked me comes back and … I don't even recognize him. The doctor did say that was like a 2% chance."

His thumb caressed her torso underneath her shirt, "Hey baby girl, don't stress—today is a day for fun and relaxation. Let your mind relax," he said as he pulled her in for a quick peck on the lips.

"I'm fine – I just need a minute," she said taking a step or two away from him, "I'm just going to powder my nose or something."

She did that a lot, he thought. She would be there and then pull away, the kids started calling her Mommy 2.0 when she started acting un-Penelope, he hated it but she thought it was funny. Her first night home was awkward; she truly was a visitor in her own home. He thought maybe they should sleep in separate beds until she got her memory back. Well that lasted 2 days, her nightmares were so intense she woke up screaming "Mr. Beignets," with her arms flailing like she is attacking her captor. When he woke her up - she remembered nothing. After that night he always slept by her side and held her till the morning. I love her, he thought, but he was so confused as to how to handle her – she remembered fragments of their life with out the emotional rooting. She remembered their wedding day, but he knew it still felt like they were dating to her. He is so scared that she will be taken again, that he never lets her out of his sight. He had to protect her this time. He already decided that he was going to take a leave of absence until she was better and her abductor was behind bars – he couldn't loose her again.

She walked to their bathroom; sat on the tub and thought about her new life - maybe 15 or 20 minutes passed, when the doorbell rang.

She opens the door and is greeted by this beautiful woman. She has warm glowing honey skin, light greenish brown eyes and with legs for days. She is wearing a blue bandage dress - it's super form fitting, with heels—kinda inappropriate bbq wear, Penelope thinks to herself, but—who is she to judge.

"Hi Penelope!" She said surprised, "Maybe this isn't…"

"Come on in," she was tired of asking everyone who they were and even when they told her she didn't remember.

"How are you doing?" Penelope asked, trying to make conversation but the woman looked so perplexed.

"Pretty good," she said suspiciously.

"Everyone is out back," Penelope guided her to the yard.

"Oh, I'm not here for the festivities—I just wanted to give Derek this," she said as she extend the bag.

"Are you hungry? We just started grilling – we only have hot dogs so far. Nothing fancy," she said taking in her outfit, again.

As soon as they entered the yard, Izzy ran up to Penelope and bear hugged her leg.

"I see you're on a mission to mess up Mommy's jeans. How about a new mission—find daddy and bring him here, honey."

"Mission Accepted," and with that Izzy was off.

"I just remembered why I shouldn't wear pastel jeans," Penelope said looking at her legs, "She is so cute isn't she?" Penelope said watching her daughter run to her dad, "But I guess most parents feel that way about their kids. Do you have any?"

"No," she sighed holding her gaze on Penelope wondering what game she was playing. Penelope was never nice to her – she always had this accusatory look, Tamara thought. As if I was going to steal Derek from her—little did she know how dedicated he is to her. She'd hope that she would need a long-term facility so she could finally put the moves on him, but alas she is here. She was officially giving up on this foolish quest. He is married and no matter how much it felt like it could go somewhere she'd always be there—with her crazy glasses and loud clothing. She truly hated her, Tamara thought; a man like Derek deserved a woman like her.

Penelope couldn't figure out what the look she was giving her meant—then it hit her. "Shit, I'm such a bad host—would you like a drink, water, soda, sangria, or beer?"

"Sangria would be perfect," she replied

As Penelope left to grab the sangria, Derek approached Tamara from the other side of the yard.

"Hey Tamara!" Derek said, to the woman in the bandage blue dress.

"So, you willed her back to life," Tamara said smiling at him. Derek went on to tell her about the miracle of Penelope's recovery

"Who is that?" she asked the group consisting of: Hotch, Beth, Reid, Stella, Jenn, Jackson, and Emily. "She's kinda over dressed for a bbq isn't she?"

Beth laughed, "Some things never change"

Hotch poked Beth. Penelope asked "what?"

"Nothing,"

"Tamara, she's a friend of Derek's," Hotch said,

She poured her a glass of sangria and when she looked up to see if Derek needed a drink she saw, Tamara was touching his chest and smiling. A wave of possessiveness hit her and she was seeing red... well more like pink, but a green monster possessed her. Penelope asks anyone who was listening, "Do I like her?"

"Kind of, baby profiler." Emily said.

"Define like," Reid said at the same time.

"Never mind, I was just wondering," she said as she grabbed the drinks and headed over to them.

"Hey guys," she said as she passed them their drinks, Penelope took Derek's hand and asked Tamara, "so, do you work at the FBI too?"

"No, Derek and I met on a case – and we've been friends ever since," she said smiling, her body language turned glum and she said, "My brother died and Derek made sure his killers were brought to justice. He's been my rock." She said patting his arm.

"I'm sorry—" before she could finish, Chris and Izzy attached her legs, "We renovated the garden. Come see it!" Chris said too excitedly.

She took one more sip of her beer, "Duty calls," she turned to Tamara, "I am sorry for your loss – I think about my parents every day," she gave a quick hug and followed her kids to the renovated garden.

* * *

"Now that was odd," Beth said.

"She just hugged her," Emily

"Look at Derek's face. Even he is semi-stunned," Hotch said smirking

The group kept on laughing until they heard Penelope scream and then Izzy screamed.

The next sound they heard was Penelope shriek, "Christopher Spencer Morgan, you are grounded for like ever."

Izzy copied her mom in her tiny little voice, "Christopher Spencer Morgan, you are grounded for like ever."

Chris laughed, "Oh, you think it's funny?" She pretend to get up and grabbed both of them and put them in the mud with her.

"How funny is that?"

The kids were shocked that their mom just put them in the mud, as she wiped the mud off of her she playfully tossed it at them. Chris whispered to Izzy, "Mommy 2.0 is fun,"

"Mommy 2.0 is fun," Izzy said louder

"If you don't stop playing shadow – I am going to show how much of a tickle monster Mommy 2.0 can be."

Chris decided to take the challenge, "If you don't—" before he could finish his sentence she was back in the mud tickling them both.

Derek made his way over to the screams which turned to squeals of giggles, his family looked like mud wrestle mania five. "Penelope Morgan," he called as if he was her father. They all stopped as if someone said freeze, "What happened?" he asked hiding his smirk.

They all stood up and Penelope and Chris began at the same time.

"Mommy slipped and," Chris began.

"Chris and Izzy kept on playing shadow"

And Izzy just laughed because the look on her father's face was so funny. He looked like he was the teacher and they were the bad students.

"We were playing," she said, "we got a bit too dirty, and now we will clean up—don't get your panties in a bunch," the kids laughed harder.

"We'll be back down in 30."

He looked at his kids and said; "now why did you think it was ok to wrestle in the mud?"

"Mommy put us in there," Chris said

"For laughing and playing shadow" Izzy finished

Derek laughed, "I have to teach you guys basic interrogation techniques as well as clean you," Penelope said as she guided them to the house.

Derek couldn't stop laughing.

* * *

She and the kids emerged from the house 40 minutes later, nice and clean. Before they ran out to play with the other kids Penelope reminded them, "We are staying out of?"

"The Garden," they cheered

"No" she prompted them.

"Ifs, ands, or butts" they said in unison.

"Awesome," she said kneeling down by them, "now give me a kiss and go play"

"I love you mommy," Izzy said, "This is the best day," she said after the kiss. Chris gave her a hug and kiss then took off.

She was wearing, a jean cut off skirt and a black Madonna Who's That Girl T-shirt.

Penelope talked to her brothers until the food was ready. The guys put the long picnic tables together so that everyone sat at one table; the kids sat at a small round table at the foot of the larger one.

As she chatted with Derek, her brothers, and Jackson; she had a flash of Café Du Monde and eating powdered donuts with her parents. This memory came with a dizzy almost high feeling. She felt sick immediately and then saw a blade twist in the clouds. The blade pierced her chin and she dropped her fork and touched her chin checking for blood.

"No more sangria for you," Jackson said.

She smiled a distant smile, "butter fingers, I guess,"

"Are you ok?" Derek whispered, a question he always asked that made her feel so suffocated. He was more like her personal bodyguard instead a husband, but who was she to critique him – just a week ago he was watching her from a hospital bed.

"I'm fine," she said squeezing his hand, "really."

That weird memory took away her appetite but if she didn't eat, Derek would ask his favorite question again so instead she pushed the food around on her plate and drank a lot of water waiting for the right time to retreat to the bathroom.

When she emerged from the house, Stella and Jenn who were about to head home greeted her.

"Thank you so much for coming – are you sure you don't want to take some food home—we may have bbq for a month if you don't"

They laughed but declined.

"Do you have any free time this week? I was thinking I could make lunch and we could go over the courses… I have to meet with Franklin about coming back."

"Don't you want to take it easy for a bit," Stella asked, "you just came home."

"I know but if I don't do something I'll just be on memory watch which is like watching paint dry. I can't do yoga," she said looking at Jenn, "because of my ribs so I just wait - I really want to keep busy."

"Well let me check with Derek and," he began.

"Really, I'm a big girl. I can have company," she teased.

He laughed, "ok, Wednesday is normally my open day but let me see what I have booked," which she understood to mean let me check with Derek—but she dropped it.

"Cool, call me and let me know," as she gave Jenn a hug, Derek joined them.

"Taking off?" Derek asked.

Stella nodded, "thanks for inviting us—I really appreciate it."

"No problem," Derek said

"Penelope and I were just discussing classes and I think I may come over Wednesday and walk her through a few things in preparation for her meeting with Franklin."

"Sounds good, I'm sure we will have bbq left overs"

Penelope became furious everyone was treating her like the girl in the plastic bubble and she hated it. She glared at Stella and said, "I'm here you know and I said you don't have to ask for permission—I'm not a" a victim, she thought, but she was, "— I'm not incapacitated." She turned and walked away leaving Derek to apologize for her behavior.

She walked to the edge of the party and by the shrubs and she tried to collect herself, she was so tired of the babying and it was only day 5, she was never alone and she was always lost. This feeling was never going away, she felt a hand on her shoulder and as she turned around she searched her brain for an apology. But to her surprise it was Spencer.

"Hi!"

"Hey"

They stood in silence for a while before he began to speak, "when you first came here we were really close, I think you kind of remember that."

She smiled and nodded.

"You once asked me to keep you busy because that is how you preferred to heal. So we went to Jazz fest, Comic Con, lectures, and yes we even karaoked. We did dark side tutorials and salsa classes too."

"I kind of remember that,"

"It took a few months, but you were back to your old self and you were happy. But Penelope, you can't heal same way—each injury is different. When Tobias Henkel held me captive, he drugged and tortured me for 2 days. I know I can't compare experiences, but I know the first thing I wanted to do was be fine – even if that meant pretending to be fine and a control freak. I lashed out and I felt alone. But you're not alone, Garcia. You used to tell me that Derek had a warrior heart and sometimes that's what made the children cases so hard for him- he wants to save all of them. But he almost lost you twice, Penelope. Once before the abduction, so he is going to hold on to you a little tighter in the beginning and everyone here knows it. He has to heal too."

"I just hate being helpless—I'm not good at it."

"You're far from helpless,"

"I just don't know how to be. Sometimes the memories don't make sense and I just—just want to be regular again."

"You will be Garcia, you will." He said patting her shoulder, she turned to him and hugged him

"Thank you," she said and just like that she was fine again.


	38. Chapter 38

**Thank you for the review... and now the next chapter... I own nothing except the typos.**

* * *

Penelope crossed the hall and headed to her office; she'd returned to work two months ago and was so happy. Unfortunately, her memory still wasn't working right, but she was determined to keep on truckin' along. She no longer had nightmares, she just constantly dreamt of a man playing a sax lulling her to sleep or her parents; but the nightmares were gone. She joked around with Derek that she thought the sex kept them at bay – but all joking aside, she was glad that she stopped having the nightmares because her screams scared Chris and Izzy.

Derek made it a point to plan family outings and date nights, so they all could reconnect and it worked. She may not have all of her memories, but she loved them fiercely. He planned one magical date night—he called it the do over. Derek surprised her with a date night in Philadelphia. He booked a lux room at the Bellevue. He packed this sequin backless black dress and matching black fuck me pumps. She didn't understand why it was called a do over — but, he went on about how when she got her memory back – she would think it was sweet or at least he hoped she would. They went to Lucali for a fancy Italian dinner and then he took her to an Alicia Keys concert. It was one of the best date nights she ever had. When they returned to their hotel room, they made love like newlyweds. Every time she thinks about that night, she wants to pull him into a closet and have her way with him. She starts to hustle to her office, when her students ambush her 2 doors away from her office and all ideas of a quickie disappeared, as soon as they came.

In Penelope's office, Derek is on a conference call with the team. As soon as Penelope came home he put in for an indefinite leave of absence, which Erin rejected immediately. Erin sat him down in her office and they worked out a way for him to work remotely on cases. He also had clearance to work with Elle unofficially on Penelope's case, but without her memories of what happened they were surrounded by dead ends. They unofficially had Leif Cornell Westinghouse under surveillance and wire tapped, but he never made a mistake. No one in his inner circle would talk and known Company associates were even more resistant.

"This unsub's behavior is obsessional," Derek began, "he has taken his time to perfect his kills. The first victims wounds show hesitation as if he was unsure of his technique but by Victim 4 he has it down and has the need for a sexual release."

The team chimed in as Penelope entered the office, she made a gesture that signaled that she would get food and before he could try and get off the call she mouthed _with students – don't worry_.

Wait he mouthed and she did.

"I think you are looking for a college student or someone who has studied criminology either in prison or officially. Kevin can you pull up a list and we can cross reference it with our vic's."

"Sounds good," Rossi said.

"We'll circle back in 3 hours" Hotch said, "thanks Derek."

As they hopped off, Derek looked over at her, "do you want me to grab you something?" she asked

"How about I come with you?" he offered

"Derek," she said and he understood the tone and the request.

"Turkey club."

"Drink?"

"Ice- Tea,"

"Great see you in 30." Which he knew meant an hour.

He watched her from the window exit the building and walk with 4 students to the dinning hall. He knew she wouldn't be back in 30 minutes but he got so used to playing Kevin Costner, as she would say. He waited till she entered the building to follow her – he had to pretend sometimes that she was safe—because in two months no one tried anything and she was at ease. Unlike her, he knew this was far from over.

As he leaned on the pillar by the dining hall Stella passed him.

"How are you doing man?"

"I still hurt from that fall in class," Derek replied.

"Did you ice the area like Jenn said?"

"I did but it is such an awkward place. I should've listened to you and Penelope - no inversions."

"Or at least baby inversions" Stella chuckled, "Jenn thinks you should take her beginner class again."

"Ouch, that hurts."

"Are you going in?" Stella asked.

"No, I'm just stalking her" he said as he looked to see where she was—she is almost done with the students, "I should head back before she bust me."

They head back to the science building together.

* * *

At 3:27 Derek walked into her the lab, as she was wrapping up a quick one on one session with Steven.

"See if you build your operating language without assumptions it will just work. Let's remove this bit of code here and look... the arm moves."

"You are amazing Penelope," he said wistfully.

"I may be amazing but I'm not fixing your code. Steven, go through the code and look for undefined terms and define them. Then swing by my office during office hours - if you can make Arnie dance, lattes are on me"

"It's a date… I mean a plan… I mean see you Thursday at 2, Ms. Penelope—I mean Mrs. Morgan. Argh Professor Morgan." He said as he gathered his things awkwardly.

She couldn't figure out what flustered Sophomore Steven until she saw Derek.

"See you then, Steven."

As Steve fumbled out of the room Derek walked over and kissed her, "I was wondering where you were—you're never late."

"I was here, observing sophomore Steve's puppy love for my wife."

"Jealous?" She asked raising an eyebrow

"Never," he said pinning her to her desk; he smiled as his lips found hers again. As soon as his lips touched hers she forgot where she was. She sat on her desk as Derek stepped between her legs. He pushed her closer to him as his tongue explored her mouth. She tilted her head and he kissed her with more passion. She tried to match his lust but a fire was ignited between them that they couldn't put out. As he kissed her neck she whispered, "we could go into the closet."

He chuckled by her ear and said, "I'm not that kind of guy."

He stepped away, "we should head back and wrap up."

She was so flustered but she knew what she wanted, "but the closet is right there and I'm ready"

He shook his head; grabbed her bag, and headed towards the door.

"Derek Freakin Morgan—really?"

She adjusted her dress, hair, and reapplied her lipstick… "We soooo aren't friends," she said as she walked past him.

As she packed her up her bag her boss, Franklin, stopped by. He knocked on the door as he came in, "Penelope can you stay late tomorrow?"

"Oh hi Derek," he said as he walked further into her office.

"Franklin."

"Sure what do you need?" Penelope asked.

"The Dean of Finance is having an arts mixer, aka beg rich folks for money for the arts tomorrow from 3-6 at the great hall. It's specifically for the arts, but he asked that we attend just in case someone wants to talk computers and technology. We can take turns answering, what will be the next Google," he said laughing at his own joke.

"Or what are google glasses?" she said, "Sure my last class is at ends at 330 I can be there at 345 or 4."

"Great, can you meet me in my office and we will walk over together."

"Derek, Stacey will send you a list of confirmed attendees."

"Thanks, Franklin"

"One of these days we have to have you guys over for dinner… My wife is a horrible cook but I make the best cocktails."

They chuckled as he left.

* * *

The next day just flew by, after her classes she freshened her make-up; then, she and Franklin headed to the hall. Derek was already inside talking to the science wives. They loved having such man candy around; at least that's what Stella overheard. She really loved having him at her work functions. They had a signal, which meant it was time to cut out. She would put her hand behind her back and play with her ring, when he saw that he came over and saved her. She just liked knowing he was watching. Harvey led Penelope and Franklin to possible funders and they razzle and dazzled them with dreams of technology. This was her 6th fundraiser since she'd been back and there was one thing she and Franklin agreed on – they hated asking for money.

After an hour of working the room Stella retreated to Derek – it was weird how their relationship developed, Stella thought. It wasn't a friendship, more like an intense acquaintance or a friend of a friend you tolerated. Stella knew he crossed the line with Penelope, but it was as if Derek's dislike for him was on pause, you know in a holding pattern, until she got her memory back. Maybe it was because she forced them together that it seemed natural for them to talk with out her present or to go on runs – not together but if he was in the park and Derek was in the park they may talk after. Now that he was with Jenn, he could see how his feelings for Penelope where real but safe. He was fixated on her because he knew on some level he wasn't ready for a real relationship and she was unattainable. Being with Penelope, or being infatuated with her, gave him the amount of relationship he could handle. Now that he was actually in relationship – he could see how yes he loved Penelope but he was actually in love with what she had—the family, the house, the career, he kind of idealized what she had not realizing the work that went into it. He was in love with Jenn because she had a power, like Penelope, to make him relax and take life one shiny day at a time. She came to Switzerland when his father died. She knew about Penelope and didn't judge him – instead she created a forgiveness mantra for his daily meditation. He thought it was a crock of shit in the beginning but amazingly enough it worked. He knew when her memory returned their strange foursome would be over and he accepted that. Every action had a reaction.

He walked over to Derek and patted him on the shoulder, as they walked away from the wives, Derek asked "what took you so long?"

"You looked like you were having fun being man candy… so?" Stella teased.

Derek laughed, "we'll see how funny it is when I tell them you are recently single."

They hear a glass drop and they both search the room for Penelope. Derek sees Penelope in the other room by the bar with an unidentified man—Stella says that's him, Leif Westinghouse.

* * *

10 minutes before

Franklin whispered to her, "your tour of duty is over," and with that Penelope headed to the bar for her first glass of wine. She spots one of her students as the bartender and asked them to give her a glass of Shiraz.

A hand touches the small of her back and she assumes it is Derek.

"10 more minutes and we can go handsome," she said without turning.

"Do you think I'm handsome?"

She turned around to see this 6'4 tall-distinguished man with an expensive tailored suit and golden leathery skin. His breath smells like smoke and whiskey and it's palpable. His cologne was expensive cologne and familiar.

"Sorry I thought you were my husband," she said perplexed by the familiarity, "I'm Penelope Morgan, professor of Computer Science."

"We've met"

"I'm sorry. I must've blanked—I apologize"

"Am I so forgettable? I thought I made an impression," he said smiling at her as he stepped closer, instinctively she took a step back, "I don't think my ego will ever recover."

She smiled a tiny smile as she took a sip of her drink. He twirled a straw in his hand and it reminded her of something. His smile seemed so familiar but she couldn't place it.

"Ok, you really don't remember me - I'm Lee"

"Nice to meet you again Lee," she said as she extended her hand.

They talked about her lab, the sciences, funding. The whole time he looked at her so oddly or maybe she just felt odd. He seemed so familiar – his cologne – matter of fact every smell she could taste. She felt her saliva get thinner and she thought she might be sick. What was wrong with the wine, she thought. Maybe it was corked or something. As he talked about the company she held on to the bar and tried to think of a way to exit. She felt overcome by nausea. She looked up at him smiled. She extended her hand, "It was great meeting you Lee."

He took her hand and stepped closer, "So formal," he said as he lifted her chin to look directly into his eyes, "we are more familiar than that Sweet P.," the hairs on her neck stood at attention as her wine glass fell to the floor. All of her memories flooded back to her with speed of a seizure and just as frenetic. This time the memories had emotions and when she looked back up at Lee she was overwhelmed with one feeling - Fear.

She bent down to pick up the broken glass and so did he. She picked up the stem and he touched her hand again smiling. She pulled her hand away and said,

"I - I remember."

* * *

**Now that is a cliffhanger. Another chapter tomorrow :)**


	39. Chapter 39

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

* * *

_They talked about her lab, the sciences, funding. The whole time he looked at her so oddly or maybe she just felt odd. He seemed so familiar – his cologne – matter of fact every smell she could taste. She felt her saliva get thinner and she thought she might be sick. What was wrong with the wine, she thought. Maybe it was corked or something. As he talked about the company she held on to the bar and tried to think of a way to exit. She felt overcome by nausea. She looked up at him smiled. She extended her hand, "It was great meeting you Lee."_

_He took her hand and stepped closer, "So formal," he said as he lifted her chin to look directly into his eyes, "we are more familiar than that Sweet P.," the hairs on her neck stood at attention as her wine glass fell to the floor. All of her memories flooded back to her with speed of a seizure and just as frenetic. This time the memories had emotions and when she looked back up at Lee she was overwhelmed with one feeling - Fear._

_She bent down to pick up the broken glass and so did he. She picked up the stem and he touched her hand again smiling. She pulled her hand away and said,_

"_I - I remember."_

* * *

"I remember you," she said more clearly

"I should hope so, since I'm funding your research," he said as he helped her pick up the glass.

He noticed Derek and Stella coming over, "Tsk, tsk, we never get to finish do we?" he said reaching for the piece of glass closer to her, "We will," he whispered.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked as she stood up. She was overtaken with shame and embarrassment… all she could do was nod.

"What happened?" Stella asked

"Knights in shinning armor?" he said as he placed the last piece of glass on the bar and picked up his old fashion, "well not shinning, right, philosophy teacher."

He extended his hand to Derek, "I'm Leif Westinghouse, but you know that right Derek. Since, you've been following me for months – right?"

Derek never met Leif, Elle interviewed him once in his office and after that the case was shut down officially. Thank god the director let them continue with all info disavowed and all that other Mission Impossible stuff. But here he was in front of him and he wondered how it was possible. They had him under surveillance and all points of contact tapped. He had friends in high places but he wondered how high. He looked over at Penelope and she seemed flustered. He didn't tell her much about the case because he didn't want her to have a bias; he knew it was going to be hard to lock Leif up. And she didn't need him (Derek) in her ear giving her confidential information—creating a bias.

Stella stepped closer to her, and Leif said to Derek, "I don't think his intentions are honorable, but who am I to judge," he says smiling as he let his eyes roam over her body.

"Following him?" She asked—so he was a suspect, she tried to remain as unreadable as possible. Why was he a suspect and how could she be so sure it was him. She continued to look at him for clues.

"Yes, Professor. The FBI thinks I had something to do with your abduction and they have tarnished my name and my business trying to prove it." He ran his fingers through his hair and said, "but I didn't let your husbands obsession come between my intent to fund your research."

"Listen you son of –" Penelope squeezed Derek's hand and whispered not now.

He looked over at Derek, "Secrets are bad for a healthy marriage." He scanned the floor, "crap one more piece," he said retuning to the ground picking up the last pieces of glass.

Franklin walked over smiling ear to ear, "So I see you've met."

"Penelope, Leif has decided to fund the lab. Harvey just told me the good news. I think this is cause for champagne."

"Sounds good. I'm psyched," she said a bit too enthusiastically.

"I'll be right back," She rubbed Franklin's back and said "break out the champagne."

In the bathroom, she wet a towel and placed it on her neck. She could feel his hands on her, all over her, kissing her. He bathed her, he washed her hair. He cut her, they tied her up. She could feel each slap, each punch, the hallucinations flooded her memories. She remembered her wedding day and the tears she cried. Izzy's birth, renovating the house, interviewing for the job, Reid, Beth, JJ, her morning runs, the loneliness that was in her marriage, the stress, Tamara, the separation, the reconciliation, Stella, Fran, lemon ice's, the watch, Soccer with the kids. Alicia Keyes – she looked up towards the ceiling. He was right it was so sweet, the tears streamed down her face and she blotted her eyes. Pushed her bangs into her face to hide her semi-red eyes.

She also remembered the wrestling in the mud, and over the top flirting she poured on Derek. She remembered who she was before the stress of the family—Penelope and Penelope 2.0 stood beside each other in her and she realized that she didn't have to choose who to be. They were both her.

She could tell Derek was in SSA Morgan mode and she need to get them all out of there before they caused a scene. She knew if she told Derek she remembered everything he would arrest him on the spot based on his cologne—but if she wanted to prosecute – this wasn't the way to do it.

Derek would kill him and she had no real proof besides her shotty memories of a masked man and the smell of his breath. She had to get through the next 10 minutes – she could pretend for just 10 tiny minutes right?

She returned to the group and Franklin was still talking about the lab; champagne was already poured. He was moving the straw through his hands the way he moved that switchblade. She took a deep breath and sipped the champagne. Derek tried to touch her but she stepped away. She felt dirty.

After her second sip, "Franklin this is uber exciting and I wish I could stay but the preschool called and Chris is sick. I will put some time on your calendar for Friday."

She kissed his cheek and whispered, "Team Work Makes the Dream Work."

Leif looked at her and she nodded, "Maybe you can give me a tour of the lab," he asked.

She nodded again and with that her feet headed to the door.

"Philosophy teacher," he said to Stella "Derek – always a pleasure," he said with a dismissive tone.

As soon as she was out of the Hall, she took off her shoes and ran across the quad. She needed to be alone. By the time Derek and Stella came outside they saw Penelope enter her building.

"Did she run?" Stella asked.

"Something's wrong—I'll see you later." Derek replied. Derek ran to her office and discovered her crying and pacing.

She was so overwhelmed by her memories that she didn't hear him come in. when he touched her she jumped.

"Hey baby girl," he said trying to enfold her into an embrace and she whispered "don't touch me," as she put her arms up, "Don't"

"What's wrong?" he said

"I want to go home," she said as she grabbed her bag, "I remember everything."

He reached for her instinctively and she said, "please don't" she let out a heavy sigh and said, "I just can't."

She walked to the door, "I just want to go home, Derek"

They played Backyardigans episodes in the car for the kids, as Penelope zoned out on the way home. As soon as they arrived home she walked into the guest room and locked the door. She ran the water for the shower scalding hot and she stepped in and began to cry. She sat in the corner of the tub and cried until the water ran cold twice. Her skin was bright red but she still felt dirty. She put on sweat pants and Derek's FBI t-shirt. She unlocked the door and hoped that everyone was in bed. She checked on her babies and they were sounds asleep. She sat on their beds and watched them sleep. She knew Derek was waiting for her downstairs and she had to tell him what she knew.

She walked down the stairs and Derek's pacing stopped. He searched her face for answers but she revealed nothing.

"I know we have to talk but I am starving," she said in a low tone.

He warmed up spaghetti as she made herself a Jameson on the rocks. She drank half the drink in one sip and she sat at the counter and swirled the rocks around the glass.

"Leif is one of the men – he was the leader."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"What could I say—I knew he was my abductor based on his breath and cologne?"

"What happened?"

"They took me. They drugged me. Everything else is fuzzy."

"You do know that I know when you're lying, right?"

"Derek you're my husband – why torture us both." She took a deep breath, "they always had masks on.. I couldn't see faces—I think -I know voices."

"Today when he was talking to me he seemed so familiar. I could remember how" he tasted, she thought, "I could remember him. He called me Sweet P. and touched my chin the same way he touched my chin with his blade and the memories overwhelmed me and all I could think was don't make a scene. My brain was spitting out memories with feelings at the same time and I was so happy but then I was overcome with fear. Like paralyzing fear and I felt too many emotions and I just wanted to come home. But I would know him anywhere…he is the guy."

He passed her the pasta.

"Ok, well tomorrow we will go to the BAU and I already called Elle she's been working the case with me and we'll see what we need to build an air tight case."

"The other two guys are already in jail maybe we can get them to flip on Leif now that we have the leverage of your memories."

"I don't want to build a case – I just want this over. Can we just put it behind us? I mean what kind of justice is it for me to re-live it on the stand?"

Derek was about to state the case for the other side, when she continued.

"He would still be in control during a court case… telling an unflattering story of me and that will follow me, you, the kids around forever. Derek if he doesn't confess – we have to, let it go. Promise me."

* * *

_**Please review! Thank you awesome :)**_


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